To think good on her ?

[bluelollipop99]

I have a lovely friend who is 36 weeks pregnant, ( her first baby ) , and she mentioned she was having an ELCS.

I asked if the baby was breech, and she said "no medical reason, but I didn't want hours of absolute agony, being told too short staffed for an epidural, tearing , never being the same down there again , feeling tearing with a 25% risk of an EMCS anyway. The NHS will never tell you this , but the NICE guidelines say if you request an ELCS they have to give you one, even if the midwives fuss about it."

I had a great fear of giving birth, but went ahead with vaginal birth as there was the clear pressure at the hospital that having an ELCS for non medical reasons made you "less of a women."

But thinking about it , my cousin had an ELCS at the same time and her recovery was not significantly longer than mine; to make up for the agony I went through.

I also think it's a bit bad that you only get this of you are literate enough to check the NICE guidelines.

AIBU unreasonable to think ELCS is often the best option for some people, and good on her for not being shamed / guilted out of this ?

I wonder if improved surgical techniques have improved scars since you had your children?

After my eldest, I couldn’t even find my scar after about a year. My second scar isn’t quite as nice but it’s right on my pubic bone. There is a small “lumpy” part which isn’t as neat but other than that, it’s a “nice” scar. My lower abdomen isn’t great but that happened when pregnant (my bump was ridiculously low/tear shaped for my whole pregnancy, so from the belly button down got stretched)

I had an EMCS with DS - Following a routine scan at 36 weeks, we were told he was small with an enlarged heart and he wouldn’t be strong enough to go through a VB and if we didn’t have a CS now, he would likely be born stillborn. He nearly died.

The CS was the scariest thing I have ever done. The spinal tap was so painful, I shook so hard from the anaesthetic that DH had to keep reminding me to breathe. I couldn’t hold my baby afterwards as the sheet was so close to my chest that I couldn’t move my arms and I couldn’t control the shaking.

I didn’t get to hold my baby until he was an hour old. We never got that moment that you see in films and TV where you hold your baby for the first time and fall in love instantly. I hate that I didn’t have that.

A CS isn’t the easy way out. It’s major surgery. I don’t remember much about the day my first child was born and I was bed bound until the next day - but it did save his life and for that I’m beyond grateful. However, it wasn’t my plan and every time someone asks about DS’ birth, or I mention I had a CS, I always feel like I have to add it was an emergency CS to avoid judgment about not having a VB and “taking the easy way out” A CS isn’t the easy way out!

Thankfully my recovery was overall, relatively fine but I had to have injections to make my womb constrict for a week, my scar got infected twice, I couldn’t lift anything heavier than my baby for weeks, or drive for 6 weeks.

if we have another child I would like to try a vaginal birth but I had zero control when my Son was born so may opt to have another CS so I am in control if that makes sense? I believe it should be a woman’s right to choose but they should be aware that a CS isn’t easy.