To think good on her ?

[bluelollipop99]

I have a lovely friend who is 36 weeks pregnant, ( her first baby ) , and she mentioned she was having an ELCS.

I asked if the baby was breech, and she said "no medical reason, but I didn't want hours of absolute agony, being told too short staffed for an epidural, tearing , never being the same down there again , feeling tearing with a 25% risk of an EMCS anyway. The NHS will never tell you this , but the NICE guidelines say if you request an ELCS they have to give you one, even if the midwives fuss about it."

I had a great fear of giving birth, but went ahead with vaginal birth as there was the clear pressure at the hospital that having an ELCS for non medical reasons made you "less of a women."

But thinking about it , my cousin had an ELCS at the same time and her recovery was not significantly longer than mine; to make up for the agony I went through.

I also think it's a bit bad that you only get this of you are literate enough to check the NICE guidelines.

AIBU unreasonable to think ELCS is often the best option for some people, and good on her for not being shamed / guilted out of this ?

The only reason I went for a vagina birth with my third is because I was told I would definitely be allowed an epidural - I’d not had one with my previous two which is why I knew I didn’t want a vagina birth again! Got to the hospital only to be asked repeatedly by the midwife “but why do you want an epidural, you’ve had two without one!” and wouldn’t listen to me telling her that’s exactly why I wanted one. I’d have pushed so much harder for an ELCS if I’d known they would have actually refused me an epidural. As it was I went on to push out an 11lb baby with no sodding pain relief whatsoever (can’t tolerate gas and air, they didn’t offer anything else). If I wasn’t entirely done having children I’d push for one next time.

so a caesarian is a major surgery which takes time to recover from
a vaginal birth is natural and mostly needs little or no recovery.

but if your friend has made her choice that is her choice.

Vaginal* 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Crumpetdisappointment you've never given birth before have you? A vaginal birth also takes weeks to recover from, it’s also a majorly traumatic event on the body.

It is different for everyone and should be an individual choice. I don't think the horror stories around vaginal births are particularly helpful though.

I had a right laugh during my labour, I was high risk so couldn't be in the swish midwife unit but we still had fun. I guess it's like reviews on a restaurant, people never really bother to do a write up unless they had a negetive experience.

@ShimmeringShirts i have had both, vaginal births and a caesarian
thanks

@Crumpetdisappointment bollox you have, there isn’t a woman alive who’s had a vaginal birth that didn’t bleed and take weeks after to recover who would go about saying there’s little to no recovery needed afterwards. Your body goes through a hell of a lot of healing in the weeks after you’ve gave birth 🙄

@ShimmeringShirts
the caesarian recovery was far more painful
a known fact

I wouldn't say there's weeks of recovery time after a vaginally birth! Not all women have that experience although I am sure a lot do. Yes there is bleeding but for me it wasn't that different from a period after a day or so, maybe lighter.

Who are you to tell someone what their birth / recovery was like and then accuse them of not actually giving birth because their story doesn't reflect YOUR reality?

6 days recovery from my last csection. As in, on day 6 we were walking round a farm park with all 4 children for the full day. Absolutely no problems after any of mine and always found recovery pretty straight forward.

A C section is riskier for the baby and the mother. I’d only have had one if necessary. This extra risk to baby was emphasised by my OB during my last pregnancy, which was high risk. I’d assumed that meant they’d say I needed a section, but, surprisingly, the ob said a vaginal birth was safer for both baby and me. I’d heard that before but assumed my high risk would override those concerns, but it didn’t because the risks are significant.

Women should be able to choose, but the idea that a section is an easy answer isn’t true. Also, from a purely vain point of view, I don’t like the risk of a ‘tummy bum’ that a section can leave you with.

A vaginal birth also takes weeks to recover from, it’s also a majorly traumatic event on the body.

I don't feel like I took weeks to recover from my VB although i'm sure internal healing goes on for months. I mainly had muscle soreness like if you had been really heavily training & couldn't walk too far until day 5. No issue with peeing, sitting etc but I was very lucky to only need a few stitches (they debated if I even needed the stitches) & a short labour. Now the pain of labour was immense (no time for pain relief & back to back) but the first few days of my CS my body was really restricted in its movements which I hated.

@Maybebabyno2 the same as you who claim to have had a recovery like a light period. You’re omitting the after pains that go along with your uterus shrinking, the swollen and leaky breasts even if you choose not to breastfeed, the constant bleeding and tenderness and fuck me that first time you go to have sex after you’ve recovered too all in the name of not scaring others off of having a vaginal birth. Screw that, stop treating other women like infants and tell them the truth of birth and recovery and allow them to make sensible informed choices on what way they want to proceed. You’re exactly like the midwives who disallow women their own choices in that respect.

its the medicalisation birth

6 days recovery from my last csection. As in, on day 6 we were walking round a farm park with all 4 children for the full day. Absolutely no problems after any of mine and always found recovery pretty straight forward.

Aren't you meant to rest though? My sil is a surgeon & told me even if I felt I could do more do not do it as there are layers of tissue that needs to heal & it's better for future pregnancies.

you've never given birth before have you? A vaginal birth also takes weeks to recover from, it’s also a majorly traumatic event on the body.

Sorry not the same as recovering from surgery.

Or I just had a different experience than you?

I personally didn't have long term pain after birth. I waited quite a while to have sex again, as recommended, it wasn't painful. The bleeding wasn't heavy for long, as I said, that's my experience and people like you pushing that only the horror story births and recoveries are real doesn't help anyone either.

Or I just had a different experience than you?

Yes, yes, yes!

No shame about it but I personally would hate to be cut open!

You’re omitting the after pains that go along with your uterus shrinking, the swollen and leaky breasts even if you choose not to breastfeed, the constant bleeding and tenderness and fuck me that first time you go to have sex after you’ve recovered too all in the name of not scaring others off of having a vaginal birth.

That isn't everyone's experience though. the uterus contraction pains felt like period pains I used to get when younger, some discomfort but not pain. I did have bleeding but I have heavy periods & I also had more bleeding after my CS. I would agree breastfeeding is painful initially & annoying with leaky breasts etc but that happens regardless of birth method.
Sex after both my births was no issue. @ShimmeringShirts have you had a CS?

I also had my appendix out the old fashioned way & was kept in for 5 days on morphine after it. Hence my surprise after a CS to be sent off the next day with a baby 😁. Although I was told I had a very good recovery.

Then why do more obgyns choose c section?

does the nhs offer personal choice for an elcs?

I did rest. For 6 days. My body felt completely fine after that. This was my 4th one so I know how to listen to my body. It’s never taken me longer than 10-12 days to feel fine and the first was 9 years ago. No complications whatsoever.

My recoveries were nothing like that. The major thing I felt was tiredness. For the first two or three days I felt achy, particularly my back, but I had no uterus pains at all. In fact, I was surprised at how quickly I felt like my normal self. After all my deliveries, I was up and mobile and felt normal. The bleeding was like a heavy period for a few days but then reduced greatly.

you bleed no matter how you give birth