To think good on her ?

[bluelollipop99]

I have a lovely friend who is 36 weeks pregnant, ( her first baby ) , and she mentioned she was having an ELCS.

I asked if the baby was breech, and she said "no medical reason, but I didn't want hours of absolute agony, being told too short staffed for an epidural, tearing , never being the same down there again , feeling tearing with a 25% risk of an EMCS anyway. The NHS will never tell you this , but the NICE guidelines say if you request an ELCS they have to give you one, even if the midwives fuss about it."

I had a great fear of giving birth, but went ahead with vaginal birth as there was the clear pressure at the hospital that having an ELCS for non medical reasons made you "less of a women."

But thinking about it , my cousin had an ELCS at the same time and her recovery was not significantly longer than mine; to make up for the agony I went through.

I also think it's a bit bad that you only get this of you are literate enough to check the NICE guidelines.

AIBU unreasonable to think ELCS is often the best option for some people, and good on her for not being shamed / guilted out of this ?

I dont think pp said ‘impossible’.

The evidence is clear.

bmcpregnancychildbirth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12884-016-0876-1

How unpleasant and sneery, @MargaritMargo .

I've had 3 children vaginally and I don't understand the comment.. never the same down there again. Everything in perfect working order.

There’s a difference between a natural birth and a vaginal birth. Maybe that’s why people are using “”
Many people who have a vaginal birth, don’t have a natural birth.

I wish I had elected for one with dc1. I had three days of labour and it turned out she was back to back and not budging so ended up having an emcs and feeling like I'd been hit by a bus. My elcs with my son 4 years later was calm and straightforward.

My SIL could probably explain it to you as a lifetime of incontinence, a lifetime of medication, 2 operations and 3 months in wheelchair. I think you’re being pathetic to pretend you don’t know some peoples bodies change after pushing a human out of their vagina.

Have I judged someone I know for having a section under general twice rather than a vaginal birth or an “awake” section? Yes. How are you going to brave a lifetime of parenting when you’re too scared to be awake when they’re born?

Err, most people are awake. You've got that wrong. Particularly ELC.

One thing though. You only tend to hear about the bad births. Caesareans are in the minority because most people ( around 75% in the UK ) give birth vaginally.

I've had both and there's was no comparison to the recovery. As someone upstream said you can get up and walk around afterwards. There's no getting away from the fact that a caesarean is a major surgery involving anaesthesia and a team of medical professionals. There's so many people there in the operating room.

This thread is anecdotal but a straightforward vaginal birth would always be my choice for the freedom and recovery afterwards.

I don't understand wanting major surgery on the same day I'm handed a tiny baby to look after.

Recovery is painful whether you do it vaginally or have an elcs.

My best friend had a vaginal birth, 3rd degree tear that needed repaired in theatre after the birth and she feels like she went through the whole thing to end up in theatre anyway and wished she'd had a cesarean because she's not been the same down below since. Her child is 8 and it's been 8 years of mild incontinence and pain.

I had an emergency c section with twins:

• even at 16 the cranial oesto is telling me that my daughters head has not fully expanded (a child's skull is compressed in birth canal and this triggers it to expand fully
• both my children's infant reflexes have not gone dormant - going through the birth canal triggers the reflex for crawling which in turn triggers the reflex for hand / eye co-ordination and the reflexes that allow kids to fully develop their eye tracking when they read plus the ability to sit still at their desk. My son's eye tracking is all out and he can't sit still at his desk.
• going through the birth canal exposes the child/ren to their mother's bacteria and helps populate their gut with friendly bacteria. Both my children had digestive issues and had to have non dairy formula for several years and then friendly bacteria.
• because I didn't go into labour the hormones to breastfed did not come in and my milk supply even after specialist help was never fully established.
• and because I did not go into labour my body did not get the hormonal message I was no longer pregnant and it I kept my pregnancy belly for a very long time until I had help from an oesto - not breastfeeding would have been part of the problem too.
• a lot of older women will tell you about our tummy pouch - a little blip we get just over our c section scar.

I think choice is the most important thing for women but you seem to have focused on how great a C section would be without really researching the complications I think. What seems to be driving this is your past experience and I hope this thread helps you feel you can give yourself permission to let yourself heal mentally and put this in the past now.

I had one, and got told by an NHS midwife i was too posh to push and a drain on their funds. So I went private and had a wonderful experience

I think what @thecatsarecrazy is saying, is that she doesn't understand that comment for her. As in everyone says it as if it is the same experience for everyone. I am the same as thecatsarecrazy, I have had 3 vaginal births and have had no complications, no tears, no future problems, all perfectly fine recoveries.

You hear of the horror stories but there are lots of women out there that don't have any problems post vaginal birth.

You hear of the horror stories but there are lots of women out there that don't have any problems post vaginal birth.

exactly

The NHS will never tell you this , but the NICE guidelines say if you request an ELCS they have to give you one

Tbh I thought this was common knowledge among pregnant women. The NHS website on c sections makes it clear that you should be offered one if it's your preference.

Totally off topic but I'd recommend reading the positive birth book.

I'm reading it at the moment as part of a course so it's too late for me, but my gosh I wish I'd read it sooner.

Whatever you decide this book goes through how to make it a really positive experience.

It is the best option for many & nothing to be ashamed of however I had a textbook VB & then a CS due to breech. The CS recovery was much harder than expected

And pregnancy alone damages the pelvic floor, mine is weaker post 2nd dc despite CS.

I was offered c-section each day of my failed induction. Had EMCS when birth didn’t progress during labour. If I’d known more about it (midwives had prepped me for a vaginal birth) I probably would have gone straight to c-section. Looking back on the risk level now... But the c-section question absolutely threw me at the time. Your friend seems well-informed in her decision.

This is the crap the midwives feed you to guilt you but is just not true.

That's great for you.

If I had another id have them in a pool at home. I labour fast so would likely be under 1h this time. No childcare as I'd have current children with me. Limited pain in the water as well.

Horses for courses isn't it. My risk profile is going to be different to yours. It needs to be a choice based on the individual.

I will say that my c-section recovery was brutal, but I’ve no idea what a difficult birth would have been like either. In the end the experience was good, the outcome was good. It could have been otherwise...

I think the difference in CS recovery is also because some people stay in for a few days &/or are on stronger pain relief. I was out the morning after with paracetamol, just assumed it was the norm.

As Twizbe pointed out, risk profile is a huge factor. My age (mid-forties) wasn’t much of an issue during pregnancy but came into sharp focus once I was admitted.

This. I think as long as all of the pros and cons for each type are birth are made clear to the woman then there's no issue with choosing one or the other.

@ClannadSinger I think if you have a straightforward VB it's definitely the preferable option. I would also always take VB but obviously some of them can be far worse. Having said that my cousin had a difficult VB with lots of stitches & then a CS, she also found the CS harder. She could feel it & had to have GA which terrified me as she went in a week before me.

I didn't know it was so unknown that you can choose a c section just because you wanted one. I was going to but I changed my mind when I saw the birth centre (which I never used in the end) and I saw a video of how it's done and it put me off so always planned for a standard birth through my pregnancies.

My healing after the first was months of agony when trying to sit and feed. I felt at that point I should have had a c section and thought I would consider it the next time.

When I decided against it again. Recover much quicker this time but was still sore and annoying.

I sometimes think a section scar is easier to treat than an episiotomy one as you can see it and don't need to be careful when peeing! But I've never had the section so I can't really comment (although have had surgery in that area so know how much you use your core and how difficult the movement can be).