To report a parent

[Fandabydosey]

So this sounds judgy, but my anger comes from a place of concern. So a mum I know had a c section 6 days ago and she is back behind the wheel of a car driving her 3 year old about. I have offered to take her but she said the HV said she is fine to drive. She looks so pale and is clearly in pain. Should I report her. Would she be able to do an emergency stop without risking stitches bursting open. Not only is she risking herself but other riad users and her own children. Would you report or leave it. Surely its a safeguarding issue. She has a husband

By the way, my friend can't walk but can drive - don't make assumptions

How is this any or your business OP?

You'd be nasty to report her, all the more if she lacks support. You have no reason to report her as you cannot judge if she is fit to drive ot not. I' have thought this is obvious.

If you read the post properly you would have seen that I have offered lifts. I work a 40hr week 10 hour days. Yes I have offered to do these things. I am also concerned about her mental health she told me her husband didn't want a second child. I am genuinely worried about her

You're worried about her so want to add to that by reporting her to the dvla?

You don't know that.

When I had my 2 c-sections my insurance told me I could drive when I felt I could perform an emergency stop. That will be different for everyone.

You are right I am a pathetic excuse for a woman. I have been struggling with my own mental health issues and often find myself making the wrong judgement calls which is why I asked the question. Maybe my children would be better off if I wasn't here. Sorry for causing everyone so much offence. I am a total waste of oxygen.

Yes report her. Especially if she has an unsupportive husband - that’ll make her life easier.

@Fandabydosey you're not a pathetic excuse for a woman - ignore that poster. Yes you're wrong in this instance but that says nothing about your ability as a parent or that you didn't think you were approaching it in the best way. You came here for advice rather than reporting her and you've, I think, accepted that it's not the best approach. That's the best thing you could have done.

I'm in Scotland, UK. Was given tramadol home after my c-section. (This was 10 years ago). A friend who had a c-section last year got the same. The drugs would have been more my concern when it came to driving early more than anything else as I know personally my head was in the clouds and reaction time would have been slow.😮

Ffs is this thread still going???? Stop telling the OP to offer to help!!! She's nothing but a nosey busybody who also has the audacity to purporr to know the ladies husband well enough to make such assertions about him in a negative way.
Tbh, the OP is a dangerous piece of work and the lady obviously knows the OP well enough not to trust her helping out. So leave her to her own devices. For those who keep encouraging this woman.... ffs stop it already and move onto something relevant.

You are lucky - I can’t take codeine so I only had paracetamol and 400mg ibuprofen with my eldest (2015)

With my youngest (2022), I pushed to be prescribed something stronger and they gave me a single dose of oromorph while still in hospital, and I was discharged with nothing.

Also Scotland.

I checked my insurance as I'm hoping for csection this summer. My insurance says as long as doctors say I'm fit insurance are happy for me to drive. I'm relieved as I don't think I could go 6 weeks stuck at home!

That's shocking, I really feel for you. Crazy the difference between hospitals.

i honestly was okay pain wise - I definitely wouldn’t have needed tramadol.

I took the oramorph because of deferred pain in my shoulder rather than from my actual c section 😅

@Fandabydosey sorry you've got NH issues, but that's no excuse for calling her SH a pathetic excuse for a man and a wet lettuce,

That does not have anything to
Do with your "concerns" about insurance.

Not sure why you brought it into it?

@Fandabydosey

Sorry about your MH. Just slightly worried about the tone of your last response

The AIBU board is renowned for giving robust, direct and sometimes rude feedback. Don't take it personally, we don't know you.

If you want a question answered as you don't trust your judgement at the moment, choose another board for softer responses

Mind your own business.

I thought exactly the same. This place never ceases to amaze. Shocking and sad. With friends like this, who needs enemies.

I'm so glad your getting a grilling from others on here. I have had two csections and drove from 2 weeks onwards. I could easily have driven after a week. You're still insured and the dvla says it's fine as well. If you reported me at the time we'd be having words. Mind your own business please.

YAbU, mind your own business. I was driving with in about 10/12 days. Husband stayed home for 10 days but couldn’t stay any longer. With another baby and a child to get to school there was no option. I felt fine to drive. I wouldn’t be going for a run or lifting anything heavy but driving was fine.

To now speak of your own mental health issues as an excuse for what you are thinking of doing to another person..... get some help and talk to someone. Using any form of forum asking for feedback on a topic which is pretty bloody questioning on you part, has seriously shown me, you need to get some help with your mental health and wellbeing.

You are fixated on a neighbour who you hardly know, and a neighbour who clearly doesnt want you help. You have derided her husband which is quite frankly unacceptable behaviour because youve brought it into a place that doesnt seem to have any boundaries. You need to concentrate on why you felt the need to post your question. What was your motivation. Do you feel lonely. Have you tried to be friends with them and maybe they are just not interested? What is happening in your own life right now to warrant you posting a question to report someone when they are clearly allowed to drive???? You need to seek some support because being on here is not remotely going to help you with your mental health. I think you know that and you keep posting anyways, because you want to belong. Youre not going to get acceptance when you judge others then like 100's messages later, you come out with your mental health illness as an excuse.
your obviously a complex person. Others who are enabling your behaviour are doing you no favours. Get off MUMSNET and concentrate on getting your head in a good place. It aint gonna happen reading conflicting views on here. Trust me, you have some issues youre gonna have to deal with and your neighbours are not your issue. I won't be commenting on this again because as every message is posted I see the backtracking excuses and narcissism coming to the fore. I ain't gonna be part of that. So I'll gladly bow out and sincerely hope that the OP's victims continue to distance themselves from her. Best wishes all x

Blimey, don't hold back there @Nimrod12 😲

As someone who was in a marriage where my ex h didn’t help with anything and was abusive I probably would have been in this exact situation. I think op you are feeling anxious for this lady maybe the kindest thing you could do is actually offer to help her out she obviously has no one to ask and if she can hardly walk I’m shocked none of the other parents have offered.