To report a parent

[Fandabydosey]

So this sounds judgy, but my anger comes from a place of concern. So a mum I know had a c section 6 days ago and she is back behind the wheel of a car driving her 3 year old about. I have offered to take her but she said the HV said she is fine to drive. She looks so pale and is clearly in pain. Should I report her. Would she be able to do an emergency stop without risking stitches bursting open. Not only is she risking herself but other riad users and her own children. Would you report or leave it. Surely its a safeguarding issue. She has a husband

I’d leave her to it - if she crashes her insurance company will deal with her!

I'd have been fine to do an emergency stop after a week. I didn't need to because my husband was still home. Would probably cause more problems walking too far than driving.

I was out walking the dog on day 5 as soon as my staples were out. I felt fine.

I know a c section is major surgery and some women take months to recover but I was out of hospital in a day and straight back on my feet. I wasn't driving at the time but would have felt fine to. Mind your own business, surely you've better things to do!

She can barely walk? That's quite a significant drip feed. Are you embellishing a bit because people aren't agreeing with you?

I know quite a lot of people who have had c-sections, in addition to my own. I don't know anyone who was left barely able to walk 6 days later. Most of us were functioning pretty normally after a few days. Why didn't you tell us in your initial post that she had reacted to the surgery so badly?

Yeah, it IS major surgery but it’s well documented that the best way to recover is to move.

With my youngest I walked to NICU to see him - which was at the other end of a large hospital - as soon as I had my catheter removed and my legs weren’t numb.

I’ve had two c sections, first was painful for about a week, the second I was pushing a trolley round Tesco on day 3.

Is your concern, that she might burst her stitches should she need to do an emergency stop? Or that her emergency stop judgement is impaired because she might still be sore? either way, does her discomfort affect you in any way, or are you implying she might be a risk to others? Would you feel better asking her to take another 2-3 days bed rest? Maybe try that before reporting her to the DVLA?

Wow, you really don't like this couple do you.

Leave them alone.

You sound ridiculous.

I drove myself and baby home from the hospital after my second c-section. Second time round, I was practically pain free from day 2. I was in hospital for three days, and then discharged. I phoned my insurance to check I was legally ok to drive - and was practically laughed at. She said it’s a myth that you ‘can’t drive for six weeks or insurance will be invalid’. She said if I felt fine to drive, then that was perfectly acceptable.

How do you know she’s in pain? And even if she is, it doesn’t mean it would be ‘illegal for her to drive?!’.

Do you think she will avoid emergency stopping and just plough into oncoming traffic, risking her life and her new born babies, for fear of her stitches splitting?

How is she endangering other road users? Would you report anyone with a minor impairment such as stitches/a single drink/ a headache/wears glasses/ a sore neck?!

She can barely walk but the HV signed her off and she's looking after a newborn and a 3 year old? Yeah somehow I don't believe you.

The only person she will hurt is herself, it’s not really anybody else’s business. Do you think she’d choose to crash into a vehicle with her children in the car over breaking and potentially causing herself pain?!

So rather than speak to him you'd rather go for the easy option and report her to the DVLA?

What do you think they're going to do, go round and check her over?

Well that just isn't true.

I could have driven safely by day 3 I reckon. I just didn't need to as I was lucky enough to have a DH who was off work.

Have you previously had a slow recovery after a c-section yourself, OP, and are you therefore assuming that it must be the same for everyone? Presumably you do understand that it's different for everyone?

! Isn't she desperate if she's driving?
Leave her! I'm sure she doesn't want to kill herself or the child.

We rang my insurance and they were like.. Why are you calling.. Drive when you feel ready!

Oh OP none of your business. I drive after 6 days - told my midwife I felt fine and then called my insurance company. If you are concerned about road safety there are a million things you could be doing to help instead of reporting a new mother.

I drove 2 weeks after my section, I didn't have a choice, my husband had just been diagnosed with MS & was unable to drive, I had spoken to my insurer & was told it was okay.

Mind your own bloody business!

I was fine by then both times.

I think you're on the wind up.

Unless she's unfit in other ways (such as actually neglecting her kids) then I don't see the problem as long as she feels okay? Wish she must do if she's driving around with her kids in the car?

Get over yourself.

You're allowed to drive when you feel you can do an emergency stop I thought?

So she’s in lots of pain, can barely walk, and has a shitty husband who is leaving the care of children and house to her.

What actions are you taking to help her? Have you offered lifts? Offered to do her shopping for her? Are you going round to do the hoovering or look after the kids while she naps? Are you giving the husband a talking to so he realises he is acting unacceptably? Or are you just planning to be another useless person in her life.

No wonder she didn't want to rely on you for a lift anywhere, you don't sound like a very nice person from your messages tbh.

Really should mind your own business

I think that the OP is writing from a place of concern. This is what a medical journal says. But hey, why bother with a quick Google to find out when so many give their view based on their own experience?

At best you’ve posted this just to wind us all up.

At worst you sound a bit deranged and self indulgent.

Either way please get a life.

HTH

In the very unlikely event that this is genuine: everyone is different. Some people are perfectly able after 5 days.