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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A parking one...

404 replies

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:22

So I live in a street of mainly terraces. I'm one of few houses that has a drive (I'm an end terrace). There is green space across the road though with no houses so there is generally enough parking for everyone iykwim.

I don't use the drive a lot recently, I have quite a big car and the drive is narrow so I find it more effort to park up there sometimes (a bit of laziness on my part). If I can park on the road I will. I used to have a smaller car and used the drive a lot more.

I guess people on the street have noticed that I'm not using the drive as much and I've had a spate of people parking across my drive... I've not said anything so far as I don't want to fall out with anyone but there have been occasions where I haven't been able to get a parking space near my house and then haven't been able to park up my drive as it's been parked over. I've then had to park further up the street... but hey ho.

Issue is- I'm heavily pregnant, baby due in a matter of weeks. The people parking over my drive thing has started to annoy me a little recently as I'm thinking with a baby I will more than likely want to use my drive if I can park at the front of my house.

I've had various complications and this week I've been at hospital nearly every day. Feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Approached my house in car to see neighbour park 3/4 of way over my drive. No drama, space at front of my house I suppose.

As I got out of my car said neighbour approached me, and told me, didn't ask, but told me, that they now have two cars and would be parking "like this from now on" (gesturing to the way his car was parked over my drive). And that "you know where we are if you want us to move".

I was in such a stress and fluster that I just said "okay" and hurried into my house.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go and knock on doors and ask people to move when I have a newborn baby. I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

If I choose, or choose not to use it, surely that is my choice?

AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go speak to neighbour and tell them no?

Oh and I've never parked at the front of this neighbours house or anything like that so it's no kind of weird retaliation from them. I either park in front of my house if available, or across the road where there are no houses.

OP posts:
Whenharrymetsmelly · 25/02/2023 01:11

iminvestednow · 25/02/2023 00:45

Op has clearly stated parking is not sparse! They is easily parking for another 30+ cars in the evening!

Oh well then that's really odd. Maybe there's more to it than just that. My neighbours are a total pain, so where if someone did something I wouldn't mind, but if one of them did something I probably would. (Still not ok to block someone's driveway though of course)

GeekyThings · 25/02/2023 01:17

SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 22:58

IT IS NOT PERFECTLY LEGAL AT ALL! I feel like I need to copy & paste this! Do your bloody research

Show quote history

I understand enough about the law to understand about legal wording in the highway code. As in, I understand the difference between the words "do not" (advisory and not legally enforceable) and "must not" (legally enforceable).

Parking in front of someone's driveway is a "do not", not a "must not". Doesn't matter how many caps locks you want put on it, it doesn't make it against the law.

AlwaysLatte · 25/02/2023 01:53

You don't have to park on your drive. And others should not park across it if there's a dropped kerb. But it sounds like a lot less trouble all round if you use your drive.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 03:44

Oh my life. So I'm a "dick" for parking my car on a public road when 99% of the time there is ample space?!

When I used to use my drive previously with my smaller car, the only person who used to park in front of my house was my neighbour from several doors down who runs a taxi business and has at least five taxis that I've counted regularly down the street. So the only person I appear to have potentially put out on a regular basis by being a "dick" and parking on a public road is him!

I've explained countless times on here that the drive is exceptionally narrow, I'm heavily pregnant etc etc I really didn't think it needed more explanation than that...

I've also explained below my belief that my neighbour is wanting to park his newly acquired car as close as human possibly to his house due to a minor car accident he had a few weeks back, after which he has seemed precious about his car.

It's not because I'm taking his parking, or anyone else's up with my "dick" behaviour...

OP posts:
Winterisalmostover · 25/02/2023 05:58

I really feel for you OP. I was that heavily pregnant single mum with older children and with complications of pregnancy, it's tough. Your neighbour is a total CF. However narrow your drive, he should never block it.
I'd leave it until after the birth when you can manage the gate and then make it plain that you need access at all times. Could you get a notice made to attach to your house wall to that effect? I admire that you can navigate the drive. My car would be scraped to hell!

raguragu · 25/02/2023 07:34

Just start parking on your drive

dogdaydown · 25/02/2023 07:37

So if parking over a dropped kerb is illegal, then prosecute your neighbour?

If you're not parking across your drive because it's illegal and jeopardises your job, then why don't you want neighbour to park there?

You don't want to park on your drive
You don't want to park across your drive
There are plenty of parking spaces
There are not plenty of parking spaces?

So what is actually the issue?

SeverusSnapeAlways · 25/02/2023 08:12

OP has said multiple times her driveway is only a few cm wider than her car and she's not able to navigate that and the heavy gate as easy being heavily pregnant.

She doesn't want to park over her driveway due to it being illegal and doesn't want her neighbor to get used to doing so either.
She does want access to her drive as when she has the baby she would like to be able to park there (when she's less pregnant and more comfortable maneuvering) and has said MULTIPLE times there is ample on street parking. Even if parking was a nightmare OP has just as much right to park on the street as the rest of the neighbors.

Go round and tell them not to block your drive whether you are using it or not. Even if your driveway was suitable it's still up to you whether you park on it or not. They can't just make that choice or inconvenience you like that.

bellabasset · 25/02/2023 08:55

If your neighbours are continuing to park across your drive after you've asked them not to you need to tackle it. Whilst you aren't using it yourself with 3 soon to be 4 dcs you might need to stop and unload your car before parking it. Start by double parking when you get back from shopping trips and unload. Put your shopping in the road by their car.

So download the regulations and give them a copy of it. If your home insurance includes legal cover you might need to get them to write to your neighbours. I know you probably don't want to do this but you might need to.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:23

dogdaydown · 25/02/2023 07:37

So if parking over a dropped kerb is illegal, then prosecute your neighbour?

If you're not parking across your drive because it's illegal and jeopardises your job, then why don't you want neighbour to park there?

You don't want to park on your drive
You don't want to park across your drive
There are plenty of parking spaces
There are not plenty of parking spaces?

So what is actually the issue?

I'm not going to start calling the council or police on my neighbour and causing a massive drama, I've said that already!

My issue is although I'm not using the drive frequently right now, I don't want it being parked across as a habit by my neighbours because there are times when I DO want access to MY drive.

When I have the baby I will be wanting to use my drive.

And for the last time. There IS NOT A PARKING ISSUE. My neighbours just want to park their second car close to my house?

Why does that trump my desire to have my own drive free so that I can use it if I wish?

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:24

SeverusSnapeAlways · 25/02/2023 08:12

OP has said multiple times her driveway is only a few cm wider than her car and she's not able to navigate that and the heavy gate as easy being heavily pregnant.

She doesn't want to park over her driveway due to it being illegal and doesn't want her neighbor to get used to doing so either.
She does want access to her drive as when she has the baby she would like to be able to park there (when she's less pregnant and more comfortable maneuvering) and has said MULTIPLE times there is ample on street parking. Even if parking was a nightmare OP has just as much right to park on the street as the rest of the neighbors.

Go round and tell them not to block your drive whether you are using it or not. Even if your driveway was suitable it's still up to you whether you park on it or not. They can't just make that choice or inconvenience you like that.

You've summed it up but no one is listening to me.

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 25/02/2023 09:27

This thread is so odd.
No OP YANBU, even if parking was an issue you are still entitled to park on the road. No one without a drive is entitled to a parking space, you're not taking up anyone's space.
MN is bonkers at times. The GF were out in force last night obviously.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:29

I know it's AIBU but I'm actually quite shocked how nasty some of the responses have been, calling me selfish and a dick and whatnot.

So according to Mumsnet because I have a driveway I must park on it at all times, and never the road, even if there are ample parking spaces.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 25/02/2023 09:33

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:33

I knew someone would say that I'm taking space from others.

That's why I put in the fact that there is actually ample parking here most of the time. We are a row of terraces with green space and no houses across the road so it's not completely inundated.

The previous owners had 5 children and a massive people carrier and never used the drive as it is narrow. It is very, very narrow.

As in wing mirror in job in my new car, with maybe a centimetre to spare on either side going in between the two houses (next door had a drive as well at some point but extended their terrace right to the boundary, does that mean they've taken a space from someone?!).

It takes a slow manoeuvre to get up. I needed a bigger car (I have 3 children already). It can be done but just takes more time and stress getting in and out.

There is very rarely a complete lack of parking, just people not being able to park as close as they want to their house I suppose.

Yes and that was my first thought too. You are taking space from others. You h ave absolutely brought this on yourself, it seems like you want to have all the options, you moan when you have to park further away and yet you not parking on your drive has the same knock on effect on others. Just start using your drive and stop being such a selfish neighbour.

Aprilx · 25/02/2023 09:36

mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:23

I'm not going to start calling the council or police on my neighbour and causing a massive drama, I've said that already!

My issue is although I'm not using the drive frequently right now, I don't want it being parked across as a habit by my neighbours because there are times when I DO want access to MY drive.

When I have the baby I will be wanting to use my drive.

And for the last time. There IS NOT A PARKING ISSUE. My neighbours just want to park their second car close to my house?

Why does that trump my desire to have my own drive free so that I can use it if I wish?

Show quote history

You are unbelievable! Are your neighbours all supposed to know which days you want to use your drive and which days you don’t. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your parking needs. Practice your parking and manoeuvres, of course your drive fits a car, that is what drives are made for.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:38

@Aprilx you haven't read the thread at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:40

@april the drive actually doesn't fulfill the requirement of being a drive in this day and age, it's just a little over 2m wide and the minimum is 3m now for a single vehicle. So I'm not being dramatic saying it's narrow.

I don't expect my neighbours to know when I want to use my drive. I expect them not to park over it as there is ample parking on the street and no need for them to park over it?

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:40

mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:40

@april the drive actually doesn't fulfill the requirement of being a drive in this day and age, it's just a little over 2m wide and the minimum is 3m now for a single vehicle. So I'm not being dramatic saying it's narrow.

I don't expect my neighbours to know when I want to use my drive. I expect them not to park over it as there is ample parking on the street and no need for them to park over it?

Sorry @Aprilx

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 25/02/2023 09:51

Hesma · Yesterday 20:28

You need to : a)stop being selfish b)park on your drive c) get a car you can actually manage to drive

You need to:
a) stop being an unpleasant arse.

She has explained that the drive is too small, that she's got 3 kids and is about to have a fourth and that there is a large excess of parking space. Her parking on the road is not an actual issue, except to the weirdo bully next door, who has taken entirely unreasonable umbrage.

SinnerBoy · 25/02/2023 09:54

@mrsflanders23

It's surely worth getting in touch with your council's parking department and explaining the situation. Earlier, I linked to Havant (?) Council, which said that they don't ticket, if the beneficiary of the dropped kerb gives permission.

Also, a PP said that she has a disabled spot now, because her drive is less than 3m and not fit for use as a drive, in the modern era.

IreallyLikeCrisps · 25/02/2023 09:54

dogdaydown · 25/02/2023 07:37

So if parking over a dropped kerb is illegal, then prosecute your neighbour?

If you're not parking across your drive because it's illegal and jeopardises your job, then why don't you want neighbour to park there?

You don't want to park on your drive
You don't want to park across your drive
There are plenty of parking spaces
There are not plenty of parking spaces?

So what is actually the issue?

This!

BlackeyedSusan · 25/02/2023 09:57

Get your husband to wake him up in the middle of the night a few times as you have gone into labour and need the car on the drive to get you in.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:59

@IreallyLikeCrisps I've answered that poster already if you care to read.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 09:59

@BlackeyedSusan I don't have a husband or partner, it's just me.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:02

@SinnerBoy, I don't want to start calling the council on them and get them issued with tickets particularly. I've got to live here and don't want to make a big thing.

I think I'll just go round and explain the situation that although I haven't been using it the past 2-3 months as much, when the baby is here I will be so would rather them not start parking across it. And see what the response is from that.

My Dad is coming to visit from abroad when I have the baby so I'm going to get him to look at the gate and see if he can fix it a bit, and put a sign up maybe stating access required 24hrs etc.

OP posts: