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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A parking one...

404 replies

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:22

So I live in a street of mainly terraces. I'm one of few houses that has a drive (I'm an end terrace). There is green space across the road though with no houses so there is generally enough parking for everyone iykwim.

I don't use the drive a lot recently, I have quite a big car and the drive is narrow so I find it more effort to park up there sometimes (a bit of laziness on my part). If I can park on the road I will. I used to have a smaller car and used the drive a lot more.

I guess people on the street have noticed that I'm not using the drive as much and I've had a spate of people parking across my drive... I've not said anything so far as I don't want to fall out with anyone but there have been occasions where I haven't been able to get a parking space near my house and then haven't been able to park up my drive as it's been parked over. I've then had to park further up the street... but hey ho.

Issue is- I'm heavily pregnant, baby due in a matter of weeks. The people parking over my drive thing has started to annoy me a little recently as I'm thinking with a baby I will more than likely want to use my drive if I can park at the front of my house.

I've had various complications and this week I've been at hospital nearly every day. Feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Approached my house in car to see neighbour park 3/4 of way over my drive. No drama, space at front of my house I suppose.

As I got out of my car said neighbour approached me, and told me, didn't ask, but told me, that they now have two cars and would be parking "like this from now on" (gesturing to the way his car was parked over my drive). And that "you know where we are if you want us to move".

I was in such a stress and fluster that I just said "okay" and hurried into my house.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go and knock on doors and ask people to move when I have a newborn baby. I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

If I choose, or choose not to use it, surely that is my choice?

AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go speak to neighbour and tell them no?

Oh and I've never parked at the front of this neighbours house or anything like that so it's no kind of weird retaliation from them. I either park in front of my house if available, or across the road where there are no houses.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:49

And I do understand all of you that are saying that I am being unreasonable, which is why I asked.

I've never seen my neighbours not parked at the front of their house btw. He's said this today as they now have "two cars".

One of my other neighbours drives taxis and has at least 5 cars parked in various places, I think that's more of an issue than me not using my drive.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:50

Headabovetheparakeet · 24/02/2023 17:42

When you started parking on the road, did you park across your drive or someone else?

I've never parked across my drive, I know it's not legal to park across a dropped curb regardless of if it's my own drive or not.

OP posts:
Headabovetheparakeet · 24/02/2023 17:50

But where have you been parking op? Is there any reason you haven't been parking across your own drive?

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:51

Headabovetheparakeet · 24/02/2023 17:50

But where have you been parking op? Is there any reason you haven't been parking across your own drive?

I park in front of my house if there is space there, and there usually is. Otherwise I park just across the road.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 24/02/2023 17:53

Park across your own drive from now on. Tell anyone that parks there they can’t block your drive (leave a note if need be).
Knock on neighbour’s door and say sorry, I was flustered earlier but actually you can’t park to block my drive - I’m going to need that space.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:55

People thinking I'm being unreasonable- looking outside right now and there is space for at least 30 cars on my street right now, including spaces just further up from my house and most being directly across the road (the whole stretch is empty!)

But my neighbour is parked across my drive??? It's the evening and most people will be in too

There really isn't a parking issue here at all, as I said in my opening post it's very rare that I can't park or people can't park.

OP posts:
BingleBongleBoo · 24/02/2023 17:56

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:55

People thinking I'm being unreasonable- looking outside right now and there is space for at least 30 cars on my street right now, including spaces just further up from my house and most being directly across the road (the whole stretch is empty!)

But my neighbour is parked across my drive??? It's the evening and most people will be in too

There really isn't a parking issue here at all, as I said in my opening post it's very rare that I can't park or people can't park.

So go knock on his door and tell him to move his car.

Klex · 24/02/2023 17:57

Of course the OP isn't taking a space from someone else - it's a public road, no one has a right to any of it.

LetThemEatTurnips · 24/02/2023 17:57

Park across your own drive. It is not illegal to park across a drive if you are not blocking someone in?

I think you are being quite a pain having a drive you don;t use, not parking over it AND parking in front of your house.

BitOutOfPractice · 24/02/2023 17:58

Irritating isn’t it op when someone defies all logic to park somewhere other than the perfectly logical one right in front of their nose?

Lcb123 · 24/02/2023 18:00

Sorry but why did you buy a car too big for your drive. Surely top priority.

EL8888 · 24/02/2023 18:01

Neighbour sounds like a CF with them in effect informing you they will be over hanging your drive. Another vote to go round go tell them not do this, as you will be using the drive a lot more due to the new baby

Amused at the suggestions of drive widening! By moving the neighbours house a few feet over?!

Fannieannie63 · 24/02/2023 18:04

My set up is the same as yours op, we always use our drive and there’s one neighbour who thinks it’s okay to tell his visitors to park blocking our drive and usually they block us in! Not completely block but still and even though there are parking spaces in the street for them to use. I’m sick of it because it’s lazy and inconsiderate. It’s the mindset of ‘Oh I’m only popping in, I won’t be long’. It’s sheer laziness on their part.
However, as you are not consistently using your drive, I wonder if it’s a ‘tit for tat’ mentality on the part of your neighbour? Someone is thinking that you’ve utilised a space you don’t need so they’ll park over your drive sort of thing? I think the only solution is to go back to using your drive to be honest, reclaim your drive and hopefully it should stop.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:05

It is illegal to park over any dropped curb regardless of if anyone is parked there or not.

My old car was a VW golf and even that was a squeeze. I had to get a bigger car as I have 3 almost 4 children.

I can get my car up there but it's very tight and takes time. That's why I've only been tending to use it recently when I have to get shopping out of the car, large items etc.

This was the only house I could afford with enough space for us. Having a fourth child and having to get a bigger car wasn't planned when I moved here. I am on my own with the kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:07

Lcb123 · 24/02/2023 18:00

Sorry but why did you buy a car too big for your drive. Surely top priority.

Because I couldn't predict the future when I bought this house.

OP posts:
parietal · 24/02/2023 18:07

Seems like there are two possibilities here

  1. with your new baby, you start using your drive everyday despite it being narrow. In that case, start using it now because the more practice you get at the narrow bit of the parking, the better.

  2. with new baby, you still prefer to park on the street to have more space to get baby into the car. In which case, you might as well not fuss about the neighbours parking over the drive.

So decide which you want and then stick to it.

what isn't very fair is wanting to do both (1) and (2) and thus preventing the neighbours parking near their house.

DoeRayMe · 24/02/2023 18:08

If your car doesn't fit, let a specified person use your drive whose car does fit. Then it would be equal again.

Giveaschitt · 24/02/2023 18:10

Lcb123 · 24/02/2023 18:00

Sorry but why did you buy a car too big for your drive. Surely top priority.

Why would that be top priority? Surely a car that suits op (so big enough for all her family) would be top priority, especially given she has said there isn't a shortage of parking on the street, so being able to fit on her drive would be really far down the list of priorities because it's not a necessity.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:11

DoeRayMe · 24/02/2023 18:08

If your car doesn't fit, let a specified person use your drive whose car does fit. Then it would be equal again.

I understand what you are saying but that wouldn't work, the drive is so narrow that you can't even put wing mirrors out when going up which is quite lengthy due to the length of the terraces, let alone open a door and get out.

The part where you would be able to get out where it widens opens onto my kitchen and dining room so neighbours would essentially be getting out right next to our main living area.

I actually don't think my neighbours want to use my drive seeing as they got rid of their own by extending their house.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 24/02/2023 18:11

I can't imagine anyone complaining or you being prosecuted for parking across the entrance to your own property. Certainly not someone who wants to park there himself.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:14

I just feel like people are jumping on me a bit here and I do get where some of it's coming from but at the same time...

There are 4, soon to be 5 of us in this house and I have one car. I had no choice but to get a bigger car with a fourth child on the way.

Next door are a retired couple in their 70s on their own. They have 2 cars. I'm not saying people shouldn't have two cars btw but...

people telling me I'm unfairly taking up too much space I don't understand.

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 24/02/2023 18:14

Tell your neighbour you need to use your drive at all times and either park on it or across it. Latter will make you look a bit batshit but achieve your convenience objective...

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:15

ErrolTheDragon · 24/02/2023 18:11

I can't imagine anyone complaining or you being prosecuted for parking across the entrance to your own property. Certainly not someone who wants to park there himself.

This will be outing but breaking the law is an issue for what I do for work, so I'd rather not risk it.

OP posts:
Oldnproud · 24/02/2023 18:15

So, the neighbour has said that you know where they are if you want them to move. Watch what time their bedroom light goes off, wait 30 mins, then go and knock loudly on their door and say you want them to move it. A few nights of that might do the trick.😈

HarrietSchulenberg · 24/02/2023 18:19

2 options:
#1 get used to getting in and out of your drive daily. Fold mirrors in if needed. With practice you'll do it easily, I promise. I, too, live in a terrace with on street parking and I can get my large-ish people carrier in a space with 1 ft in front and 1 ft behind and that includes navigating a pavement and a telegraph pole plus crookedly parked cars on the opposite side of the (very narrow) street. Purely practice. If he blocks your drive ask him to move every single time and his space will become less attractive to him.
#2 park behind your neighbour and make it a chew for him to extricate his car every day. Make him be the one to come to you to ask you to move. His space will again become less attractive.