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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A parking one...

404 replies

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:22

So I live in a street of mainly terraces. I'm one of few houses that has a drive (I'm an end terrace). There is green space across the road though with no houses so there is generally enough parking for everyone iykwim.

I don't use the drive a lot recently, I have quite a big car and the drive is narrow so I find it more effort to park up there sometimes (a bit of laziness on my part). If I can park on the road I will. I used to have a smaller car and used the drive a lot more.

I guess people on the street have noticed that I'm not using the drive as much and I've had a spate of people parking across my drive... I've not said anything so far as I don't want to fall out with anyone but there have been occasions where I haven't been able to get a parking space near my house and then haven't been able to park up my drive as it's been parked over. I've then had to park further up the street... but hey ho.

Issue is- I'm heavily pregnant, baby due in a matter of weeks. The people parking over my drive thing has started to annoy me a little recently as I'm thinking with a baby I will more than likely want to use my drive if I can park at the front of my house.

I've had various complications and this week I've been at hospital nearly every day. Feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Approached my house in car to see neighbour park 3/4 of way over my drive. No drama, space at front of my house I suppose.

As I got out of my car said neighbour approached me, and told me, didn't ask, but told me, that they now have two cars and would be parking "like this from now on" (gesturing to the way his car was parked over my drive). And that "you know where we are if you want us to move".

I was in such a stress and fluster that I just said "okay" and hurried into my house.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go and knock on doors and ask people to move when I have a newborn baby. I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

If I choose, or choose not to use it, surely that is my choice?

AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go speak to neighbour and tell them no?

Oh and I've never parked at the front of this neighbours house or anything like that so it's no kind of weird retaliation from them. I either park in front of my house if available, or across the road where there are no houses.

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 25/02/2023 10:09

Yanbu, it’s your drive and you can use it how you like. If there is ample parking for everyone then it’s even less of a problem.

I’d pop next door, very politely say that having thought about it it won’t work, as firstly you are going to be using the drive a lot more now. You are in your last few weeks of pregnancy and with 4 children you are in and out all the time. So it makes no sense to have to ask them all the time.
If they continue to park there then disturb them every single time.

SeriouslyLTB · 25/02/2023 10:11

This thread is absolutely hilarious. Faaack me folks, RTFT before commenting!

OP: you are being perfectly reasonable. You are entitled to access to your drive, at any time day or night, to do whatever you want: park on it, dance on it, give birth on it or whatever. The only person who should be blocking your drive is you. It makes no difference what you’ve done before, if you want access to the drive, you should have it.

Go and speak to the neighbour this morning. Say you were flustered last night, but “moving forward please don’t block my driveway”. Makes no difference that you’re pregnant, no reason required.

Msmossy · 25/02/2023 10:12

The responses on here are bizarre.

OP, you own the drive. So you should be able to access it whenever you want/need to. It is also perfectly legal to park in one of the many spaces on the street, regardless of owning your own drive. So, as you know, you may do either. It isn't inconveniencing anyone.

Your neighbour is a chancer. Go and speak to him. Be polite but firm. It's not always convenient for you to park on your drive but you still need access to it. Asking him to move to let you in/out is not an option. If he starts making excuses/saying you usually park on the street, just tell him that that is not the point and you still need access to your own drive. And it is illegal for him to block it. Do not start explaining to him why you need to access your own drive. It's yours, you don't need his permission or approval to use it.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy Flowers

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:14

It's not illegal to park over a dropped kerb unless a car is in the drive. Then you are blocking someone in and obstructing them.

All you can do is ask them not to block your dropped curve.

SeriouslyLTB · 25/02/2023 10:15

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:14

It's not illegal to park over a dropped kerb unless a car is in the drive. Then you are blocking someone in and obstructing them.

All you can do is ask them not to block your dropped curve.

Not true. Which surprised me too, but OP is correct.

totallydriving.com/parking-on-dropped-kerb-law-uk/

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:20

Contact the council as they may have by laws that protect you if it continues. However if you can't park your car across your own driveway (in front of your house) and they choose to park in front of your house, you can do nothing about it. I suggest learn to park in your driveway.

Police not interested unless it's obstructing the highway.

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:21

And you don't own the dropped curb or the pavement.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:22

I wish I could actually take a picture without outing myself. Looking out the window I'd say there is space for 40 cars across the road, even more space than last night as it's Saturday morning and people have gone out.

My neighbour is still parked 3/4 of the way across my drive.

Not sure what people aren't understanding about there being no need for them to park there and my parking on the road not inconveniencing anyone or taking up precious space? Space is a-plenty?

The rare parking issues I've referred to are for example the next street over had roadworks recently and I think people decided it was easier to park here and walk through than navigate the roadworks... space was tighter then! And I actually wanted to use my drive but couldn't as people kept parking over it.

OP posts:
purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:23

@SeriouslyLTB It's not 'illegal'. The police are not interested. It's the council by laws that determine this. Only illegal if the car is creating an obstruction to the highway, so if he blocks her in, he is obstructing her. No car, no obstruction.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:23

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:20

Contact the council as they may have by laws that protect you if it continues. However if you can't park your car across your own driveway (in front of your house) and they choose to park in front of your house, you can do nothing about it. I suggest learn to park in your driveway.

Police not interested unless it's obstructing the highway.

I've never once said anything about anyone parking in front of my house, I'm well aware of the law and I'm aware I don't own the space in front of my house or any on the street!

Blocking a dropped kerb is an offence. I've never said I own it or the pavement Hmm

OP posts:
purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:24

Ask the council if they can add some white lines to prevent parking there and preventing you using your drive? Ask the council basically.

Blossomtoes · 25/02/2023 10:24

haven't been using it the past 2-3 months as much, when the baby is here I will be so would rather them not start parking across it.

How does that work? Is the drive going to miraculously become wider or the car narrower after the baby arrives?

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:25

@mrsflanders23 It's not illegal to prevent you getting into your drive. Illegal involves the police. It's the council who can help you.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:25

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:23

@SeriouslyLTB It's not 'illegal'. The police are not interested. It's the council by laws that determine this. Only illegal if the car is creating an obstruction to the highway, so if he blocks her in, he is obstructing her. No car, no obstruction.

Just because certain councils pick and choose what to enforce, just because you think the police aren't interested, it doesn't mean it's not an offence. It is by the Highway Code.

I'm not going to explain my reasons again for not blocking the dropped kerb.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:26

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:24

Ask the council if they can add some white lines to prevent parking there and preventing you using your drive? Ask the council basically.

There are white lines.

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 25/02/2023 10:27

Park on your drive. It's a valuable asset to have as part of your house.

Tell your neighbour that you need access to your drive at all times, particularly with you being pregnant, hospital visits etc and they are not to park across it. If they do park across go and knock and ask them to move as you "are going out" every time. Get as many unsociable hours knocks in as possible until they behave.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:29

Blossomtoes · 25/02/2023 10:24

haven't been using it the past 2-3 months as much, when the baby is here I will be so would rather them not start parking across it.

How does that work? Is the drive going to miraculously become wider or the car narrower after the baby arrives?

I've explained this previously. I'm heavily pregnant and I'm finding it difficult to manoeuvre the car up there and also get the heavy gate open. It's "possible" to get up there but it's so very tight down to a couple of centimetres that in my current state in finding it more difficult than normal. I can't get in and out easily being pregnant.

No it won't miraculously widen or my car get smaller. I've explained below that when my baby is here and I need to get shopping out of the car or whatnot, or I've got a sleeping baby, I want to have the choice to use my drive.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:30

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:25

@mrsflanders23 It's not illegal to prevent you getting into your drive. Illegal involves the police. It's the council who can help you.

You definition of illegal is all wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:31

Lindy2 · 25/02/2023 10:27

Park on your drive. It's a valuable asset to have as part of your house.

Tell your neighbour that you need access to your drive at all times, particularly with you being pregnant, hospital visits etc and they are not to park across it. If they do park across go and knock and ask them to move as you "are going out" every time. Get as many unsociable hours knocks in as possible until they behave.

I'm going to go out and take a picture of my "drive" without outing myself so you can all see how difficult it would be to use while pregnant.

OP posts:
purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:32

@mrsflanders23 Illegal as in getting the police involved is not an option, u less the car is untaxed and uninsured.

Illegal as in breaking local bylaws may be an option to you.
I do know what illegal means, if not i wasted a lot of time on a level law.

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:33

You just need to talk to the neighbour and explain the situation.

GeekyThings · 25/02/2023 10:34

SeriouslyLTB · 25/02/2023 10:15

Not true. Which surprised me too, but OP is correct.

totallydriving.com/parking-on-dropped-kerb-law-uk/

Show quote history

The OP isn't correct:

www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/highway-code-parking-over-driveway-23245133

news.jardinemotors.co.uk/lifestyle/parking-near-private-driveway-what-is-the-law

www.gov.uk/guidance/the-highway-code/waiting-and-parking-238-to-252

That last one is the highway code, you can clearly see it doesn't state "must", which means it is advisable, not legally binding.

heldinadream · 25/02/2023 10:36

mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 10:30

You definition of illegal is all wrong.

Show quote history

OP why are you arguing with so many people who cannot be bothered to read all of your posts properly or understand the law?

You are totally within your rights to tell neighbour that going forward please don't park over my drive, the only question is how to do this in a way that doesn't cause neighbourly kerfuffle. Explain you were taken by surprise by his statement but that you, with four children, are going to need your drive unblocked at all times. Cheery wave goodbye, don't give him argument time. Then put up sign please leave clear. Then if he ever parks across again THEN you can report him. These are the steps I would take.
Very best of luck but please stop trying to argue with so many idiots, it's raising my blood pressure so heaven knows what it's doing to yours.
And very best of luck with the birth.

fshhh7 · 25/02/2023 10:37

I have no idea why you're getting so much flack OP! Anyone using a wheelchair or pram knows exactly why you shouldn't park across a dropped kerb, regardless of who owns the related property.

purpledalmation · 25/02/2023 10:44

fshhh7 · 25/02/2023 10:37

I have no idea why you're getting so much flack OP! Anyone using a wheelchair or pram knows exactly why you shouldn't park across a dropped kerb, regardless of who owns the related property.

It's a different situation. A private property is not the same a a dropped kerb on the road for buggies and wheelchairs.

She needs to speak to the local council about the by laws regarding private residences and access. They can give a penalty notice but the police cannot get involved in the circumstances she describes.

She asked AIBU and is getting good advice.