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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A parking one...

404 replies

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:22

So I live in a street of mainly terraces. I'm one of few houses that has a drive (I'm an end terrace). There is green space across the road though with no houses so there is generally enough parking for everyone iykwim.

I don't use the drive a lot recently, I have quite a big car and the drive is narrow so I find it more effort to park up there sometimes (a bit of laziness on my part). If I can park on the road I will. I used to have a smaller car and used the drive a lot more.

I guess people on the street have noticed that I'm not using the drive as much and I've had a spate of people parking across my drive... I've not said anything so far as I don't want to fall out with anyone but there have been occasions where I haven't been able to get a parking space near my house and then haven't been able to park up my drive as it's been parked over. I've then had to park further up the street... but hey ho.

Issue is- I'm heavily pregnant, baby due in a matter of weeks. The people parking over my drive thing has started to annoy me a little recently as I'm thinking with a baby I will more than likely want to use my drive if I can park at the front of my house.

I've had various complications and this week I've been at hospital nearly every day. Feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Approached my house in car to see neighbour park 3/4 of way over my drive. No drama, space at front of my house I suppose.

As I got out of my car said neighbour approached me, and told me, didn't ask, but told me, that they now have two cars and would be parking "like this from now on" (gesturing to the way his car was parked over my drive). And that "you know where we are if you want us to move".

I was in such a stress and fluster that I just said "okay" and hurried into my house.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go and knock on doors and ask people to move when I have a newborn baby. I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

If I choose, or choose not to use it, surely that is my choice?

AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go speak to neighbour and tell them no?

Oh and I've never parked at the front of this neighbours house or anything like that so it's no kind of weird retaliation from them. I either park in front of my house if available, or across the road where there are no houses.

OP posts:
whateveryouwantmetosay · 24/02/2023 22:21

As others have said YANBU and start parking over your own drive, especially once baby comes.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 22:31

I think I probably haven't explained myself well in my OP and referred to myself as lazy, as well as pointing out the occasional lack of parking as a reason why I'd want to park on my drive but then not having access to it putting me out. Parking issues are rare. We had some roadworks nearby recently which made it a bit more tricky as some roads were shut.

I spoke to my neighbours a few weeks ago in passing and they made it known to me that their car had been hit on the side somewhere, I think going round a nearby island. He said he was putting a cone in front of his house from now on so he could always park there. Came across he was just feeling precious about his car after the accident. Fair enough. I've never parked in front of his house, ever. I don't think I've actually ever seen any other care there, only his. Then again I'm at work a lot so I wouldn't know.

From the brief conversation today it seems they've acquired a second car (only ever had one) and he wants to park this one as close to his house as possible hence the gesture of "from now on I'll be parking like this". I think it's because he's still feeling precious over the accident. There is ample space directly across the road from him, there isn't any need to block my drive imo.

It isn't due to lack of parking, he just wants his car as close to his house as humanly possible, I think.

OP posts:
FredaFox · 24/02/2023 22:43

I think you are getting way too much grief over this
Your drive isn't fit to purpose, particularly in your current pregnancy state
You have as much right to park there as the rest of your street
Ignore the people calling you selfish for not using your drive, in your circumstances they wouldn't either

SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 22:53

LetThemEatTurnips · 24/02/2023 17:57

Park across your own drive. It is not illegal to park across a drive if you are not blocking someone in?

I think you are being quite a pain having a drive you don;t use, not parking over it AND parking in front of your house.

Yes it is! You CANNOT park across a dropped curb - even if it is your own

Blossomtoes · 24/02/2023 22:53

I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

I can’t get my head round this. Buying a house because it’s got off road parking and then not using it is completely bonkers. Just park on your bloody drive.

SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 22:56

IreallyLikeCrisps · 24/02/2023 18:24

It's not illegal to park across a dropped curb that is your own drive. (Unless it has yellow lines/zigzags/etc.)Stop being ridiculous and just park there! If your neighbour is parked there get out and tell them to move every single time! They will soon get fed up of being asked to move and stop parking there.

YES. IT. IS!!!!!!! Given what OP does for a living, she should know!

Jacketandbeans · 24/02/2023 22:57

So you have 3, soon to be 4 kids, are heavily pregnant, no partner and you work full time? You deserve a medal, park wherever you want and tell them to stop blocking your drive!

SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 22:57

nailsathome · 24/02/2023 18:36

Parking across a dropped curb is not illegal unless you are blocking someone in.

Jesus Christ please do your research before commenting on things as fact! Ffs

SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 22:58

GeekyThings · 24/02/2023 18:37

It's perfectly legal for you to park in front of your own dropped kerb; it's perfectly legal for anyone to do it if the owner says they can. And you're the owner.

Also regardless of legalities the police won't do anything about someone parking in front of your drive unless they're blocking you in - if you're not parked there it isn't their concern, it's a council ticketing matter only.

It is annoying if someone parks so you can't use your drive. It's also annoying for someone with a drive to constantly take up extra space parking in the street when they don't have to, but everyone else does. So it sounds like six of one and half a dozen of the other to me, you're both being unreasonable.

IT IS NOT PERFECTLY LEGAL AT ALL! I feel like I need to copy & paste this! Do your bloody research

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 22:59

Blossomtoes · 24/02/2023 22:53

I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

I can’t get my head round this. Buying a house because it’s got off road parking and then not using it is completely bonkers. Just park on your bloody drive.

RTFT! I'm heavily pregnant with health issues.

I had smaller car when bought the house. Wasn't planning on needing a bigger one!

The drive is difficult for me atm. It isn't a normal drive! I wish I could take a picture without outing myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 23:00

@SchoolTripDrama thank you but I don't think anyone is grasping it as I've been saying it all evening.

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 24/02/2023 23:02

Whether or not parking across a dropped kerb is legal seems to depend on where you live. My council says:

Parking against a dropped kerb
A vehicle must not be parked on the carriageway adjacent to a footway, cycle track or verge where it has been lowered (or the carriageway raised) to assist pedestrians crossing, or cyclists and motorists entering or leaving the carriageway.
This is subject to the following exceptions, where the vehicle:
is parked wholly within a designated parking place, therefore permitted
is parked outside premises by or with the consent of the occupier
is one being used by the Emergency Services
is being used for delivery of heavy goods or loading or unloading to premises
is being used for waste collection or for undertaking works nearby

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 23:03

Jacketandbeans · 24/02/2023 22:57

So you have 3, soon to be 4 kids, are heavily pregnant, no partner and you work full time? You deserve a medal, park wherever you want and tell them to stop blocking your drive!

I was working full-time technically until last Friday but I've been at the hospital every day since then and will likely be induced very soon.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 23:05

@Blossomtoes the law doesn't change depending on where you live, the Highway Code is the Highway Code.

That's just the way your council chooses to or chooses not to enforce the law.

OP posts:
SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 23:05

pinkstripeycat · 24/02/2023 22:06

It is illegal to park over any dropped curb regardless of if anyone is parked there or not.

No OP it’s not illegal to park across your own dropped kerb 😂

If someone blocked you in and stopped you getting on to the highway they could be asked to move it. If they’d blocked the drive to stop you getting on to your drive not illegal

OP is a Police Officer and you're telling her what is & isn't illegal?! Grin How embarrassing for you

SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 23:08

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 23:00

@SchoolTripDrama thank you but I don't think anyone is grasping it as I've been saying it all evening.

I can see! They either have appalling comprehension skills or are being contrary for the sake of it

SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 23:09

@mrsflanders23 I apologise profusely for saying what your job is but this is getting ridiculous. These people are trying so very very hard to start a pile on. I'll ask for my comment to be removed if you wish?

IreallyLikeCrisps · 24/02/2023 23:21

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 23:05

@Blossomtoes the law doesn't change depending on where you live, the Highway Code is the Highway Code.

That's just the way your council chooses to or chooses not to enforce the law.

Then just get the law enforced every time your neighbour parks in front of your drive!!

cosmiccosmos · 24/02/2023 23:22

Whilst I can see why people may be annoyed you are not using drive the fact is there is no legal reason why the should, it's up to you. Your neighbour on the other hand is breaking the law parking over your drive. Clearly they are pushed off and are flexing their muscles. I'm prepared guess it was a man you spoke to and they know you are on your own.

The answer here is to take 'no shit' from anyone. Go round and ask them to not block your drive, no discussion, it's none of their business if you use it. If they persist go round and tell them if they do it again you'll call the police. You really need to have a zero tolerance/no discussion on this.

You do NOT need to explain about it being narrow etc, it's NONE of their business.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 23:26

@IreallyLikeCrisps, I'm not a nasty person and I'm not looking to cause a huge drama or fall out with my neighbours.

OP posts:
Lellochip · 24/02/2023 23:44

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 23:26

@IreallyLikeCrisps, I'm not a nasty person and I'm not looking to cause a huge drama or fall out with my neighbours.

Next time he does it, could you just pop out and pull him up on it, saying you'd assumed it was purely a one-off, because obviously you know he wouldn't want to inconvenience you by blocking your driveway permanently, that's just silly! Can keep it friendly, rather than making out you've changed your mind about what you agreed were dictated to previously.

Whenharrymetsmelly · 25/02/2023 00:20

You are technically in the right and I can understand why you're annoyed. But, to take a space on the road and be annoyed if your drive is blocked that you aren't using, also makes you a bit of a dick. I find this interesting as if I was you if be annoyed, and if I were the neighbour I'd also be annoyed so I can see both points of view. If the parking is sparse, then I think it's quite selfish 🤷‍♀️

Whenharrymetsmelly · 25/02/2023 00:20

You are technically in the right and I can understand why you're annoyed. But, to take a space on the road and be annoyed if your drive is blocked that you aren't using, also makes you a bit of a dick. I find this interesting as if I was you if be annoyed, and if I were the neighbour I'd also be annoyed so I can see both points of view. If the parking is sparse, then I think it's quite selfish 🤷‍♀️

iminvestednow · 25/02/2023 00:43

I’ve been shocked by the responses here. It’s never ok to block someone’s drive, even worse that they have told you that’s what they are going to do, it shows an arrogant contempt for the OP. You need to be firm now, I know it’s hard if you’re not an aggressive person. Can you get your baby’s dad to have a word? Sometimes old school (misogynist) men will only listen to other men!

iminvestednow · 25/02/2023 00:45

Op has clearly stated parking is not sparse! They is easily parking for another 30+ cars in the evening!