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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A parking one...

404 replies

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:22

So I live in a street of mainly terraces. I'm one of few houses that has a drive (I'm an end terrace). There is green space across the road though with no houses so there is generally enough parking for everyone iykwim.

I don't use the drive a lot recently, I have quite a big car and the drive is narrow so I find it more effort to park up there sometimes (a bit of laziness on my part). If I can park on the road I will. I used to have a smaller car and used the drive a lot more.

I guess people on the street have noticed that I'm not using the drive as much and I've had a spate of people parking across my drive... I've not said anything so far as I don't want to fall out with anyone but there have been occasions where I haven't been able to get a parking space near my house and then haven't been able to park up my drive as it's been parked over. I've then had to park further up the street... but hey ho.

Issue is- I'm heavily pregnant, baby due in a matter of weeks. The people parking over my drive thing has started to annoy me a little recently as I'm thinking with a baby I will more than likely want to use my drive if I can park at the front of my house.

I've had various complications and this week I've been at hospital nearly every day. Feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Approached my house in car to see neighbour park 3/4 of way over my drive. No drama, space at front of my house I suppose.

As I got out of my car said neighbour approached me, and told me, didn't ask, but told me, that they now have two cars and would be parking "like this from now on" (gesturing to the way his car was parked over my drive). And that "you know where we are if you want us to move".

I was in such a stress and fluster that I just said "okay" and hurried into my house.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go and knock on doors and ask people to move when I have a newborn baby. I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

If I choose, or choose not to use it, surely that is my choice?

AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go speak to neighbour and tell them no?

Oh and I've never parked at the front of this neighbours house or anything like that so it's no kind of weird retaliation from them. I either park in front of my house if available, or across the road where there are no houses.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 25/02/2023 19:45

And thank you to everyone that seems to have understood and offered good advice.

I'm not here for people just to agree with me at all, but thank you to those that understood the situation and replied accordingly.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 25/02/2023 19:57

@mrsflanders23 not sure why he’s mentioning the previous owners. They don’t live there anymore and you do

Ineedatrain · 25/02/2023 20:05

Wow. You’re really not being unreasonable. He needs to move his car 😡

Stressybetty · 25/02/2023 21:15

Reminds me of our last rental house. Next door neighbour had "persuaded" the previous tenants into letting them keep their horse in the back garden! Agents had told them to move it for us to move in which had caused them problems. They had a grudge against us from the start and tried everything to get us to leave. We found out much later about the horse from another neighbour! People are unbelievably entitled sometimes

WiddlinDiddlin · 25/02/2023 21:37

How does your neighbour think you're going to achieve what he is suggesting?

Get in car, drive to end of drive, discover his car is blocking it, magically teleport from car to his doorstep to ask him to shift his frigging car then teleport back inside your car?

Or does he genuinely think that you want to walk to his with a small flock of children, ask him to move, walk back, get in car, sit in car waiting... every fucking time?

Pieandchips1234456 · 25/02/2023 22:50

Why didn't you make him mo e it there and then? And parked in your drive yo spite him. I'd use it all the more now just to prove your point.

Pieandchips1234456 · 25/02/2023 22:51

Move and to** bloody autocorrect

SinnerBoy · 25/02/2023 23:44

Stressybetty · Today 21:15

Next door neighbour had "persuaded" the previous tenants into letting them keep their horse in the back garden!

Didn't you put that on a CF thread?

Stressybetty · 25/02/2023 23:52

SinnerBoy · 25/02/2023 23:44

Stressybetty · Today 21:15

Next door neighbour had "persuaded" the previous tenants into letting them keep their horse in the back garden!

Didn't you put that on a CF thread?

Not that I remember. Might have commented about it before 🤔

BrightPurple · 26/02/2023 00:39

I don’t think YABU, OP.

Good on you for popping round and having a chat. You shouldn’t have to start knocking on his door every time you need to access your drive! I really hope that this sorts out the issue, but I’ve a feeling he’ll still decide he can do as he pleases.

If he carries on after your baby is born, might be worth getting your Dad to knock on, when he comes to sort out your gate.

SinnerBoy · 26/02/2023 00:42

Stressybetty · Yesterday 23:52

I definitely remember a post about a new house and a horse squatting in the paddock, with the neighbours being arsy, as the previous owners let them do it!

Timeflieswhenyourehavingfun · 26/02/2023 01:34

@mrsflanders23 As soon as baby is here and you can more comfortably use the drive start using it at every opportunity.
It will be really annoying and inconvenient to keep having to ask your neighbour to move but surely he will at some point get fed up with having to constantly move his car elsewhere at your request.
Of course you shouldn’t have to but it sounds like it’s the only way to get the message across.
A mum of 4 kids, one a new born having to repeatedly request her drive way is not blocked so she can safely unload children, a new born, groceries etc. makes him look like a right dick.

Best wishes for your pending birth.

Justforthissnippet · 26/02/2023 01:42

It would have got my back up being told that was how they were going to park too.

Doesn’t sound convincing that he will change his behaviour based on your chat, so you may need to be firmer/escalate a bit. No way should you have to go and ask every time you want their car moved.

Neighbour sounds like a pain in the arse, and that drive looks like an absolute nightmare!

Stressybetty · 26/02/2023 04:09

SinnerBoy · 26/02/2023 00:42

Stressybetty · Yesterday 23:52

I definitely remember a post about a new house and a horse squatting in the paddock, with the neighbours being arsy, as the previous owners let them do it!

I very likely have posted about it before, worst 6 months of my life!

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 26/02/2023 07:59

I don't want this to turn into an ongoing saga but I think I'm definitely going to have issue- I've just got up and opened my curtains and he's still parked over my drive...

Main thing being that he's clearly been out and come back as the car is facing the opposite direction to yesterday. So he's made a conscious choice to park it over the drive again despite my speaking to him yesterday (I thought when he needed to go out he may move it).

The entire area directly opposite our houses is free, no cars parked there at all so there really is no need!

I was really nice when I spoke to him to so I can't see how I could have got his back up about it.

OP posts:
SeriouslyLTB · 26/02/2023 08:04

Maybe just do as he asked and be really annoying. Go in and out loads today. Make the point.

SeriouslyLTB · 26/02/2023 08:04

And when you ask him to move, just park up where he is.

Sparklfairy · 26/02/2023 08:05

Honestly I think given his 'reasoning' the totally impractical and non-workable-in-reality solution is to buy a small old banger that you will never use, and park it on the drive! As he stopped parking there when you were using your drive so he didn't block you in.

I've lived in a house with a narrow drive, it's not fun. My neighbours have a wide drive with space for two cars and still sometimes park on the road leaving the drive empty. No big deal. Surely you pay a premium for a drive but also pay for the choice of how, when, and even whether you use it.

whowhatwerewhy · 26/02/2023 08:10

He might be under the impression you only want to start using the drive once the baby arrives.
I realise your reluctance to do so , but could you start parking over your own dropped kerb ( don't want to get into the whole dropped kerb debate) .
Had similar with my neighbours I used to make him move his car every time or parked practically in his bumper.

Blanca87 · 26/02/2023 08:21

can you not just get it towed?

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 26/02/2023 08:32

You can be sure the disrespectful asshole wouldn't be doing this if you were a man.

Can you have him towed, as a wakeup call?

C4tastrophe · 26/02/2023 09:07

You say using your drive is a PITA as it’s so narrow. What car do you have? Maybe someone can suggest a thinner alternative?
A Dacia Jogger is normal car width, but a 7 seater. There will be others.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 26/02/2023 09:13

Thing is I don't want to start a whole neighbour war over it as I have to live here. I don't want to go to extremes of reporting it etc yet.

I don't actually want to use the drive right this moment. But I was clear as I could be yesterday that I wasn't agreeable to it as I want to have access to it as I wish, and I did say that I didn't want to establish the habit of the drive being parked over and that I didn't want to have to come and ask.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 26/02/2023 09:17

C4tastrophe · 26/02/2023 09:07

You say using your drive is a PITA as it’s so narrow. What car do you have? Maybe someone can suggest a thinner alternative?
A Dacia Jogger is normal car width, but a 7 seater. There will be others.

I can't afford to swap my car again I'm afraid. Looking at the car mentioned the width of 2007mm isn't far different from my current car.

OP posts:
DDivaStar · 26/02/2023 09:17

I would just go round again and ask him to move. If you don't follow it up he will just carry on. Be a nuisance, go everyday twice a day.