A parking one...

[mrsflanders23]

So I live in a street of mainly terraces. I'm one of few houses that has a drive (I'm an end terrace). There is green space across the road though with no houses so there is generally enough parking for everyone iykwim.

I don't use the drive a lot recently, I have quite a big car and the drive is narrow so I find it more effort to park up there sometimes (a bit of laziness on my part). If I can park on the road I will. I used to have a smaller car and used the drive a lot more.

I guess people on the street have noticed that I'm not using the drive as much and I've had a spate of people parking across my drive... I've not said anything so far as I don't want to fall out with anyone but there have been occasions where I haven't been able to get a parking space near my house and then haven't been able to park up my drive as it's been parked over. I've then had to park further up the street... but hey ho.

Issue is- I'm heavily pregnant, baby due in a matter of weeks. The people parking over my drive thing has started to annoy me a little recently as I'm thinking with a baby I will more than likely want to use my drive if I can park at the front of my house.

I've had various complications and this week I've been at hospital nearly every day. Feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Approached my house in car to see neighbour park 3/4 of way over my drive. No drama, space at front of my house I suppose.

As I got out of my car said neighbour approached me, and told me, didn't ask, but told me, that they now have two cars and would be parking "like this from now on" (gesturing to the way his car was parked over my drive). And that "you know where we are if you want us to move".

I was in such a stress and fluster that I just said "okay" and hurried into my house.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go and knock on doors and ask people to move when I have a newborn baby. I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

If I choose, or choose not to use it, surely that is my choice?

AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go speak to neighbour and tell them no?

Oh and I've never parked at the front of this neighbours house or anything like that so it's no kind of weird retaliation from them. I either park in front of my house if available, or across the road where there are no houses.

Did you say your dad is coming to help you? Will he be parking on the drive?

Okay, you are slightly losing me now.

You’ve spoken to him nicely and been ignored. The possibility of it resolving super easily has evaporated.

Your options are:

1- talk to him again, less nicely.
2- report
3- be annoying about going in and out drive

I’m not sure there are any other options? You either park somewhere else, or have a “fight” to use the home you own the way you want to. There is no magic solution.

@SeriouslyLTB sorry if I've not made it clear on my other posts but I'm not overly well at the moment. I'm not going to leave it as such I just mean I'm not going to extremes yet. I'll probably just speak to him again as a first step.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune yes my Dad is coming to help when I have the baby but he is coming from abroad so won't have his own car, he will be using mine to ferry the kids about. No idea if he will want to use the drive or not but he may do!

Well there's a surprise @mrsflanders23, who the bloody hell does he think he is? I understand your reticence at escalating as you are unwell. He is in 'well what is she going to do about it' mode, what a horrible man.

I'm afraid my experience of this type of situation is that you need to keep keeping in and eventually escalating. Remember you are in the right. Imagine if your driveway was blocked and emergency services needed access to you/your house?

I hate saying this but I think it's good your Dad is coming over. It will be good support and I fear men, like your neighbour, only listen to men.

I would be going in today and asking him why he is parked over your drive - only telling him to move when he answers why he is parking illegally.

Although you don't really want to use your drive yet when your neighbour goes out can you park on it just to see if when he returns he will still park over it knowing your car is there.

I'd also park my own car over my own drive when possible.

The thing is you are also not able to simply walk down your drive and cross the road - you are having to walk around his car which makes it additionally dangerous for you and your children.

As you can tell, I'm so annoyed on your behalf.

Annoying that he’s completely ignoring your recent conversation.

When’s bin day? Start tactical moves, place bin in the spot he’s overhanging. Tongue in cheek but very tempting to be awkward.

There's a simple compromise that you could do that he might go for, depending upon how agreeable he is, which is you parking across your own drive and freeing up the space in the street you're currently using. I'm guessing that's within eye view of his house, meaning you both get what you want, you get your drive, he gets to keep an eye on his car.

But you refuse to do it, so I don't see how this is going to end any other way than you falling out with your neighbour. And if that's the case then why bother talking, just report him for parking there, if there really is a white line across it then the council might ticket him.

@GeekyThings why should I have to do something I don't agree with just to please my neighbour?

I'd honestly feel really cheeky if I ever gave anyone a ticket or asked them to move off a dropped kerb knowing that I do the same myself

I don't believe my neighbour could see his car any better parked in front of my house than he could in the free space across the street.

I've said this countless times on the thread but I'm not taking space away from anyone. There is ample space on the street except for rare occasions.

I don't always park in front of my house at the moment. Sometimes I park across the street. It's usually the man with taxis that parks one of his in front of my house sometimes.

And "if there really is a white line" ?

Yes, there is. I've said it several times.

I would take a picture of it but as his car is parked across it, it's rather outing isn't it?!

Going as far as phoning the council isn't top of my list right now but as I've said before if just talking to him about it doesn't do the trick then I will likely have to do that.

If he’s been out and returned and again parked the car across your driveway after you asked him not to, he is making a point and saying ‘I will do as I like’

The reality is that you aren’t going to remain on really good terms.

You probably need to go over this afternoon and tell him you can see he’s been out and returned to park across your drive, despite you telling him not to. Tell him you’re asking one final time and if the car is still there by tomorrow, you will be taking a photo of it and sending it to the traffic enforcement department at the council and will do that every time he parks there. Don’t enter into discussion about where she’s she should park. Simply repeat ‘That is access to my private driveway, not part of the public road where anyone is entitled to park and no-one is allowed to park across it’.

If you prefer to write it in a note then do so, but it would be better if you speak to him.

He’s pushing to see if you will challenge him again or take it further. He’s hoping you will back down and let him have his way. Don’t leave this today. Do something about it today. Every time he gets away with it, will boost his confidence to continue.

I've come back from my appt and I've been a bit of a passive aggressive d*ck and parked my car right up to the white line. With the way he has left his car (now fully over the drive rather than 3/4 way across) it will make it difficult for him to get out.

He will have to either come and ask me to move my car or he will have to move their second car. There is space for about 3 cars in front of their second car at the moment on the other side. And the entire stretch opposite is still free bar one taxi.

If he does have to come to the door and ask me to move I make a point of saying that I did ask him not to park there and that I am parked legally whereas he is not. Debating if to even move the car if he asks as I did warn him

I just can't be arsed going to his door again today as I feel like cr*p.

Not sure how old your DC are
but tell him it's not a convenient time and you'll quickly nip out and move it when the DC are in bed and asleep as you don't want to leave them unattended.

OP, this is the way to turn it into a war and lose the moral high ground. You don’t need to do this. And it will probably make him even more determined.

You have the right to have your driveway access not blocked. You have the legal and moral high ground. You have to keep repeating that to yourself and to him. It is far better to communicate this basic point that to sink to his level in terms of parking actions.

You might be tired and not want to have the conversation. But surely you have these difficult conversations every day as part of your work?

Your parking action won’t solve this. You need to speak to him again or write him a note. Emphasise that you are telling him to remove his car and stop parking across the access to your property. Tell him you willbe taking photos and contacting traffic enforcement if he doesn’t.

You are muddying the waters by blocking him in. He will go on about that and put you in the wrong. Move your car so you are parking sensibly and cannot be criticised.

To be honest, it’s within your hands now to manage the situation and have the best chance to resolve this, or to make it worse. Yes, you weren’t in the wrong and it was totally his fault up to now, but you can either make he situation more tricky now or communicate to resolve it. In reality, if you engage in parking wars now with your own car, it will escalate and in the end you’ll probably need to contact parking enforcement anyway. You are just delaying it and also providing him with a chance to evidence YOU parking unreasonably too. Don’t give him that opportunity.

Wise words, Wombat.

OP,

He's a CF trying to bully you, in your own home.

Take a photo of it everytime.

That you would tolerate this for a minute is proof you are vulnerable.

Ring 101 if he is even slightly aggressive and ask for advice.

He should not be parking across your drive.

He's a bully who sees a lone parent as easy pickings.

Stand up to him and report him.

I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to report someone parking across my drive

I don't think OP has blocked him in as she is up to the white line. He shouldn't be parked on the white line

Any update OP?

I hope you get this sorted OP

I would be taking photos each time he does it and reporting to council as is a civil parking offence

But it also builds up a case for nuisance/ harassment that you can send a cease and desist letter for and ultimately decide whether to pursue as a court case to stop this nuisance behaviour

Ultimately it's easy money for the council to issue fines to your neighbour for parking offences

Park on your own drive.

Don't know why you are getting a hard time. You are totally within your rights and the law, having a drive doesn't negate your right (similar to everyone else) to park on the road. Your neighbour is being an absolute chancer and chauvanistic to boot. Don't explain, just make it simple for him, he is breaking the law and you have asked him not to. He is making relations unneighbourly. Tell him that you will have to take legal action, better to have a twat like this, slightly wary of you.

Start using your own drive and go knock/ring at the neighbours each and every time you need to move in or out of your drive. Even if this is very early in the morning, in the middle of the night, or during (their) dinnertime. I think they'll get the message.

I think yabvu to park on the road when you have a drive. Very unreasonable. If you can't park your car buy a smaller one that you can. I've never understood why people buy cars they can't operate. (Yes operating includes being able to park it on a drive)

Your neighbours ABVU to block your driveway.

So you're all in the wrong! 😂

No change for everyone asking for an update, he's still parked there and tbh I'm too poorly to deal with it rn. Will deal when I've had the baby.