DP thinks my bag is 'childish and showy'

[roastedtomatoes]

I'm originally from Sweden and back home people of all ages carry these bags. Last week, I decided to purchase a new Kånken to replace the one I've had for 10 years. Picked this colour (www.fjallraven.com/uk/en-gb/bags-gear/kanken/kanken-bags/kanken-rainbow-mini?v=F23621%3a%3a7323450792466) this time around to replace the black one I had, and DH absolutely hates it. I use it primarily for dog walks and trips to the local cafe/shops and he thinks it's too showy/childish and feels 'embarrassed' when I take it with me when we go out for coffee together.

AIBU to think that it's just a bag? It's not that bad, is it?

I really really like the blue one!!!! But no, you're right, just a bag, not sure why he is embarrassed by it?

😂

I'd automatically assume that you would be trying to signal that you are outspokenly lhbti+ because of the rainbows but maybe I just lived and worked in Amsterdam a bit too long...

I imagine most men wouldn't love it, but it's a bit ridiculous for him to be embarrassed by a bag.

The backpack is okay, but maybe your partner thinks £85 is a ridiculous amount to spend on a backpack - when you could have got a perfectly decent one for £20.

Adults policing the style choices of other adults is really tedious. Unless you had bought a giant hen night style penis bag or something.

Nothing wrong with it, I just think it is expensive but saying that my last handbag cost £5 so I'm a bit behind the times. Inflation is terrible and horrifically I've got to the age where I am constantly thinking, "I remember when they cost 50p." I tell you it is horrible.

It's cute and fun! Ignore your husband!

It's hardly embarrassing. Your DH is lucky if he has time to worry about a yellow bag.

I have one of these (full size) granted I inherited it from my daughter but I love it. I wouldn’t take it out to dinner but great for trips out with the kids. I can’t imagine in a million years my husband ever noticing what bag I had let alone having an opinion on it.

It is healthy to be honest, if asked, my husband would be truthful (I once asked what he thought of a particular jumper, he said I looked like a children’s tv presenter. I said, I love it, he said, that’s all that matters.)

it’s not like your taking it with you to a Michelin star restaurant, is he that insecure he’s worried people might judge him for you backpack choice???

*you’re

He'd hate mine then. Mine is a Shaun sheep backpack that used to belong to my daughter when she was a young child.

I was ready to answer this before I even looked at it.

@roastedtomatoes you aren't even asking him to wear it are you? I'm glad he has so little to worry about that he can even give the bag you wear a second thought!

I couldn't get worked up about what someone else is carrying, but, if I saw an adult out with that, I would assume they were carrying their dc's bag for some reason.
So, depends what your question is....

Does this bag look like a child's bag ? Yes
Would I be embarrassed to be seen having a coffee with you ? No

I mean, I would question the judgement of an adult buying a bag made for a child, and paying that much for it, but I guess it depends on your finances as to if that side of it is influencing your dh.

Nice bag. I have a really colourful backpack.
I can't believe people think having a yellow bag is 'look at me'
It's a perfectly normal bag.

Hmm. You need a 2nd bag for when that one needs cleaning. I think this one might work www.cathkidston.com/en-gb/kids-and-baby/kids-3-12-years/kids-backpacks/106448118762102.html?glCountry=GB&utm_source=sag&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=surfaces_UK&gclid=Cj0KCQiAutyfBhCMARIsAMgcRJQ4fCHimb9ZSvjhAhr6ql2VFsZFMrPuZlmD4X7OFSsFUdUUDxc0TDgaArxpEALw_wcB Make sure it's too 'heavy' to carry sometimes.

It's hideous. Why would anyvpbody buy it.

It looks like a rucksack and the colour isn't bright. Only slightly less boring than black!

But, if the OP can afford £85 which we assume she can, she'll likely get many more years out of it than a £20 bag. Her last one would have equated to £8.50 per year of use, for example.

I'm in the slow process of replacing all my cheap knackered bags and boots with higher quality versions that I expect to last me for many more years, now I'm lucky enough to be able to afford to.

It looks like a 6 year old's bag, but it's got nothing to do with your partner.

He’s perfectly justified in not liking your bag (I’ve not clicked on the image link so no idea whether I’d personally like the bag or not). The fact that he feels embarrassed to be seen with his wife in public with said bag is a problem. It’s his root insecurity problem and if he can’t address that then just be aware not to let this become more of a problem for you than it already is.

I personally love a colour pop. He sounds a bit sad and beige. Reminds me of this IG account:

instagram.com/officialsadbeige

I love it.

I have a mustard yellow Vans backpack that's my current bag of choice and my husband hates it too but it's practical especially with two kids in winter. Conversation goes.

"Are you taking that bag today?"
"Yes"
"Why?"
"Because it's my bag"
"But why that bag?"
"Because it has all my stuff in it"
"Can you not take another bag?"
"No"
"Why?"
"Because then I'll need to swap everything over into a different bag and then forget to swap it back so I'll keep everything in this bag"
"Really, that bag?

Then I leave the house!

He forgets that he leaves the house on family trips with himself and I leave with a bag full of everything we all need.

Your DH is lucky if he has time to worry about a yellow bag.
It's brown.

I have the Cath Kidston rucksack with cowboys on it. 😎

I also think it looks like a child's bag, but don't think it matters.

One woman's gorgeous bag is another woman's horror. Bag tastes are very, very personal. My female relatives and I all have very differing tastes - my cousin would probably side with you on this bag, whereas I wouldn't want it.

The point is, if the bag makes you happy, carry it unashamedly. You will never get a consensus on what a gorgeous bag looks like. Never.