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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP thinks my bag is 'childish and showy'

676 replies

roastedtomatoes · 23/02/2023 21:43

I'm originally from Sweden and back home people of all ages carry these bags. Last week, I decided to purchase a new Kånken to replace the one I've had for 10 years. Picked this colour (www.fjallraven.com/uk/en-gb/bags-gear/kanken/kanken-bags/kanken-rainbow-mini?v=F23621%3a%3a7323450792466) this time around to replace the black one I had, and DH absolutely hates it. I use it primarily for dog walks and trips to the local cafe/shops and he thinks it's too showy/childish and feels 'embarrassed' when I take it with me when we go out for coffee together. Confused

AIBU to think that it's just a bag? It's not that bad, is it?

OP posts:
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14
Mummadeze · 24/02/2023 21:05

Ridiculous. I wear all kinds of childish things and I love them. He sounds either very self conscious or a bit controlling. I don’t think I could live with someone who made me feel bad for my taste in bags.

Idontgiveashitanymore · 24/02/2023 21:13

Personally I don’t like it. It’s a teens bag . Not worth the money

RobertaFirmino · 24/02/2023 21:14

franbrad · 24/02/2023 18:07

Well goodness knows what DP would make of mine. I have the Tetley monkey rucksack and I LOVE it.......and I'm in my 50s 🤣

A Tetley monkey rucksack? Tell me more! Is this monkey a rival to the PG Tips monkey?

Moira1951 · 24/02/2023 21:19

I think it’s him being childish!!! It’s a bloody bag for Gods sake. What’s it got to do with him. Do you tell him what he can wear. Tell him to naff off and grow up!

RobertaFirmino · 24/02/2023 21:20

Hmm1234 · 24/02/2023 20:22

Yes it’s awful and not a popular brand or ‘very expensive’.
A Vans backpack would of been a better choice

Yes, Vans. Because you need to be exactly the fucking same as everybody else in the world. I mean honestly, I was in the shopping centre today and I saw a grand total of FOUR women who were not wearing Vans Classic Old Skool trainers. One of these women was wearing New Balance! How dare she! Thankfully, one of them had the good grace to wear a pair of very expensive Balenciaga sock-type things.

There you have it OP - you either have to look the same as everyone else or spend a grand.

LouDeLou · 24/02/2023 21:22

What? Your husband cares what bag you carry? And you care that he cares?

What?

Ameadowwalk · 24/02/2023 21:28

Blinkingheckythump · 23/02/2023 23:17

Dear lord he has those and has dared to complain about your bag?!

Show quote history

My thoughts exactly!

Socrateswasrightaboutvoting · 24/02/2023 21:29

LouDeLou · 24/02/2023 21:22

What? Your husband cares what bag you carry? And you care that he cares?

What?

You do you OP. Its none of your DH's business

nannykatherine · 24/02/2023 21:34

Eeek
you don’t wear it as a backpack do you ???!

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 24/02/2023 21:41

nannykatherine · 24/02/2023 21:34

Eeek
you don’t wear it as a backpack do you ???!

I think she does and I believe it has a peanut butter and jam sandwich inside for playtime ;)

Bluebellsparklypant · 24/02/2023 21:42

I have 4 of these bags in different sizes and colours so you can tell I like them, they are practical and comfortable to wear. It’s a shame his made these comments but if you like the bag just have to shrug it off and enjoy your buy

toxic44 · 24/02/2023 21:45

He's intolerant and trying to control you - very Critical Parent. He cares more about what strangers might think than he does about seeing you pleased. Please yourself. You don't need a Master.

Emotionalsupportviper · 24/02/2023 21:46

iklboo · 24/02/2023 21:05

I'm not wearing what I wore when I was a teenager, that's for sure. What's your point? People can wear whatever they want but I've found it helpful to consider how ageing affects aesthetics.

I couldn't give a toss at a monkey's rolling doughnut what anyone thinks of my look or 'aesthetics'. I dress for comfort and to please me, not what people think I should wear, what is 'in' or 'on brand'. Who does it help to consider aesthetics?

Personally, I don’t like the bag and do think it’s a bit childish. I also abhor anything with rainbows on it since rainbows were appropriated by the gender mob. Rainbows are now ruined for me.

What? Appropriated by 'the gender mob'?

Who are 'the gender mob??

The LGBT community has used the rainbow as its flag since 1978. Nobody - not even the 'gender mob' (nice slur there by the way) has 'appropriated' anything. Rainbows ruined? Get a grip.

There was no "T" in 1978 - just LGB.

But I won't let woke-isim spoil my life. I like it - I use it.

katepilar · 24/02/2023 21:51

MysteryBelle · 24/02/2023 02:38

Hold on. He wears those toe shoes where each toe is individually engloved for no good reason except to show how foolish the owner is? He has no call for judging your cute and cheerful bag.

Why do you think there isnt a reason for those "shoes"?

Ivymom · 24/02/2023 21:58

I refuse to carry neutral handbags. Mine are all colorful. My DH randomly shows me black and brown bags on the websites for the brands I prefer. My response is always “does it come in a pretty color”. He happily orders whatever color I want and has accepted that I carry colorful bags. I’ve accepted that he only wears dark, neutral colors. When we go out together, I’m the peacock and he is the peahen.

UndertheCedartree · 24/02/2023 22:04

Oh, it's a bit boring really, I was expecting something more well...'showy' I guess. That's pretty much the opposite of that.

iklboo · 24/02/2023 22:04

@Emotionalsupportviper - sorry, you're right. LGB community has used the rainbow flag since 1978.

But what do you mean by 'woke-ism'? Not being goady, it's a genuine question.

Sandra1984 · 24/02/2023 22:06

I'm in my early 50's and I thought you were talking some cheap neon pink school bag with Hello Kitty print or something in the lines of, but I clicked on your link and saw the kraken bag which is beautiful and appropriate for all ages, the fact it's yellow with rainbow straps just makes it quite vibrant and happy. Your partner sounds like a weirdo.

Emotionalsupportviper · 24/02/2023 22:08

iklboo · 24/02/2023 22:04

@Emotionalsupportviper - sorry, you're right. LGB community has used the rainbow flag since 1978.

But what do you mean by 'woke-ism'? Not being goady, it's a genuine question.

Taking offence at every damn thing.

It gets on my double AAs.

DipperandMabel · 24/02/2023 22:08

I am quite childish and love stuff like that. So what if it’s fun and bright? Is that sooo terrible?

He wouldn’t like me, I happily carry actual kids bags at times and both adults and kids tend to admire them!

FunnysInLaJardin · 24/02/2023 22:09

@roastedtomatoes I liked it so much in fact, I have just bought one!

Toooldforthisshit49 · 24/02/2023 22:10

I like it! A bit of sunshine, would definitely make me smile if I saw you walking past

BlondieLady · 24/02/2023 22:11

This reply has been deleted

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mrslrc · 24/02/2023 22:12

I have the kids Cath Kidston backpack with motorhomes, caravans and tents on it. It's perfect for what I want!

Maria1982 · 24/02/2023 22:14

I have a red coat (as my main winter coat). I was booooored of black, navy, grey coats. My OH would never in a month of Sundays wear such bright colours himself, but accepts that I do (and says it suits me).

I’m glad yours has come round to the idea! I also think the five toe shoes are more weird myself 🤣🤣