DP thinks my bag is 'childish and showy'

[roastedtomatoes]

I'm originally from Sweden and back home people of all ages carry these bags. Last week, I decided to purchase a new Kånken to replace the one I've had for 10 years. Picked this colour (www.fjallraven.com/uk/en-gb/bags-gear/kanken/kanken-bags/kanken-rainbow-mini?v=F23621%3a%3a7323450792466) this time around to replace the black one I had, and DH absolutely hates it. I use it primarily for dog walks and trips to the local cafe/shops and he thinks it's too showy/childish and feels 'embarrassed' when I take it with me when we go out for coffee together.

AIBU to think that it's just a bag? It's not that bad, is it?

Love my Kanken and I’m 50! Tell your husband to feck off! How dare you have a colourful, handy, comfortable bag…

Yeah it's the sort of thing a teenager would say/do.

That's rich, based on your extremely erudite posts. Bless...
🤣🤣🤣

I think if he's embarrassed by a bag you are wearing he needs to have a word with himself and grow up.

That sounds like something a 10 year old would say.

My posts have been extremely erudite. Thank you for noticing.

OP the shoe monstrosities need a thread of their own. Possibly the biggest drip feed I have seen in my mumsnetting life.

Does he have toe socks to go with them?

Oh. My. God. H's got a nerve complaining about your rucksack!

Ughhh it's gorgeous! I have three Kânken backpacks and they're the only bags I ever.

Not childish at all.

This thread is great. So far the OPs husband has been accused of being a 10yr old, being gay, being homophobic, being a coercive abuser, an LGB ally for denoucinf the flag and transphobe for denoucning the flag😂. In reality, he has stated that he thinks the bag is showy/childish and he feels embarassed when his wife wears it. He may be a bit sensitive but all of the above is a total mind read.

I have that exact bag in bright yellow, it’s my work bag. I’m in a senior role in Finance in Financial Services. He has a strange perspective.

And before you say you don’t give a fuck what people think- that’s completely the opposite of how designer labels work. You’re not fooling anyone

This isn't a designer label though, it's a brand. And it's a brand with a good reputation for sturdiness, but being a bit pricy for a small backpack.

I'm surprised someone hasn't yet posted the "Sam Vimes theory of buying cheap boots" yet. The best way to buy something is to do a cost/benefit analysis, of course. But some things you just want because they're nice.
Which is why when i buy some things i notice the black or white or grey ones are a tenner cheaper than the red, green or pink ones are. There are things that affect our desire for things over and above how practical and useful they are.

It’s super easy not to notice. I walk past several hundred people a day! One or two might catch my eye, but they are almost immediately forgotten and the majority make zero impact. I cannot even begin to imagine how you’d go about noticing what everyone you saw was wearing or carrying.

However, even if you did somehow manage it, the operative word here is ‘care’. If anyone noticed (more than in passing) and cared what bag another adult was carrying, I would find that very very strange.

I think it totally depends on the big picture. I have occasionally not bought an item of clothing because my partner didn't like it. My partner has occasionally not bought an item of clothing because I didn't like it. There are dishes I don't cook because my partner doesn't like them. There are dishes she doesn't cook because I don't like them. We both have made adjustments to accommodate the other. To me this is perfectly normal and unremarkable. The big picture is that we're pretty compatible, we respect each other, we enoy the things we have in common and we appreciate the differences between us. Sadly, many people are in relationships with an incompatible partner, and that makes everything problematic.

I like it 😁 your husband would absolutely hate me though I have a load of the Disney lounge fly backpacks. This is my favourite one at the moment 😂

Ffs, was about to answer with a cheery LTB but five toed shoes?? He has ZERO right to comment on anything you wear if he's walking around in those. Buy him a matching orange bag for his birthday (if nothing else it might detract attention from the crazy shoes)

Why on earth would he give it a moment’s thought? Weird.

It's a bag, for carrying stuff. How about this instead?

https://www.loewe.com/eur/en/loewe-x-howls-moving-castle/discover-the-collection/moving-castle-bag-in-classic-calfskin/A000MC3X01-9990.html?cgid=howlsmovingcastle_collection&p=6

Nobody who willingly wears five toed shoes has the right to comment on other people's style choices. Nobody.

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It's your choice to buy and use whichever bag you wish. The bag is not offensive but, personally, it is super bright; it reminds me of a freezer bag. (I have used a freezer bag on occasions as an overnight bag.) I would never be upset if a friend used that bag always when we go out. I would just not choose it for myself.

‘I have occasionally not bought an item of clothing because my partner didn't like it‘

To save them the trauma of looking at it? Goodness. Rather different than asking them to eat food they can’t/don’t want to eat.

I was just giving £40 as an example. Yes a £20 fine of course! A £5 bag from the market might fall apart but a decently made one from a charity shop or similar - great.
And yes a good portion of my earnings are given to charities and worthwhile causes.
Spending £85 on a tiny bag because of its name is obscene.
Dont even want to get into the £1000’s ones - just makes me so depressed about human nature to be honest.

I have it in blue. A mum at the school has it in yellow. It's a serviceable bag and you like it. He's weird!

If a £20 bag is fine, then why isn’t a £40 bag obscene? It’s twice as much. The extra £20 is clearly wasteful, is it not?

At what point would the cost of a bag make you depressed about human nature? Is £42 fine? What about £45? £47?

What’s the metric for financial ‘obscenity’?

I love your bag!
Just because it's not his taste doesn't mean you can't use it. I'd ignore him.