DP thinks my bag is 'childish and showy'

[roastedtomatoes]

I'm originally from Sweden and back home people of all ages carry these bags. Last week, I decided to purchase a new Kånken to replace the one I've had for 10 years. Picked this colour (www.fjallraven.com/uk/en-gb/bags-gear/kanken/kanken-bags/kanken-rainbow-mini?v=F23621%3a%3a7323450792466) this time around to replace the black one I had, and DH absolutely hates it. I use it primarily for dog walks and trips to the local cafe/shops and he thinks it's too showy/childish and feels 'embarrassed' when I take it with me when we go out for coffee together.

AIBU to think that it's just a bag? It's not that bad, is it?

Because decent people take their partner's feelings into account?

When choosing a backpack???? Some people astound me. I consider myself a "decent person" but the day I take a partners feelings into account over my clothing or accessories choice it will be a cold day in hell.

Incidentally, my backpack has a tigerskin pattern.

Accusing you of being 'showy' is interesting isn't it?

Since when was a backpack "slightly impractical"??? I think they are very practical, especially for people like me who walk everywhere. I can't say I have ever know anyone judge someone for having one - whatever its colour.

I wouldn't say showy. It actually looks quite dull but childish in that it looks more like a child's school bag than a grown ups fashion accessory.

@magicthree backpacks are very practical, I use one everyday! But as backpacks go I don't think these ones are terribly practical - not much space, awkward shape to fit stuff in, straps look pretty uncomfortable. All fine (not all clothing and accessories have to be primarily practical, obviously) but it's one of the things that make me think the sheer number of these things out there reflects the fact that they're a trend people are jumping on, rather than a particularly great backpack.

I don’t get the outrage from people here tbh. Imagine having such a bland wardrobe you think this is too much.

The backpack's fine but not the rainbows, and that's perhaps what your DP is thinking.

I'm an older lesbian who used to attend early Pride marches in London and carry a rainbow flag. Now it's become a symbol used by TQ+ people who actually want to erase and oppress LGB people. For example, I encounter men with penises saying they are lesbians on lesbian dating apps and IRL at lesbian/ women-only events. They're looking for vulnerable lesbians who will have sex with them. So whenever I see someone wearing or carrying anything with a rainbow on it, I steer clear. They tend to be virtue-signalling straight people who don't understand what the rainbow now means to many LGB people — a symbol of oppression. As for rainbow lanyards worn by NHS staff, in my experience they're worn by people who know they're a bit homophobic but use the lanyard as cover.

It's pretty gross but presumably it fits the rest of your style/look so your partner must be used to it by now?

Not read the full thread, but Kankens were originally children's bags until they became fashionable? I remember reading years ago, the bit of foam was put there for the children to sit on at the bus stop in winter to help keep warm. But I have a bad memory so could be making that up....

Yes - it does look like a child’s bag and one my daughter actually would want - but I wouldn’t judge you for using it - if you like then fine!

The yellow bag is awful, he is right that it is childish and a bit attention seeking. I don’t see why he should be embarrassed though.

So?

Tell him to lighten up and stop behaving like a boring middle aged pratt.

Work it out

Can honestly say in seventeen years of marriage my husband has never ever commented on what I choose to carry things in! Absolutely ridiculous, you are two separate people. Dress to please yourself, not him, and certainly not people who've gone beige

This is an interesting read

foxtrail.fjallraven.com/articles/kanken-invention-history

I can see what he means as I notice them more on younger age group. But they are very popular.

I prefer the bags on this link.

It will start with the bag, next week the loud earrings, then the little bit too tight dress, then the hair...it's like a trickle of oppression. I hope not, but this actually makes me feel more uncomfortable than a lot of other posts on Mumsnet. The erosion of identity in small increments

Nope. Tell me. If you don’t think what you’re alluding is stupid, you should be comfortable stating it.

Fuck me. How did you extrapolate to that?

It's cheerful and quirky, why not?
It's you who's wearing it and like it not your husband, so I'd ignore him.;)

Yes, the rainbow has been thoroughly hijacked (and spoilt, in my opinion)

This is about your DP seeing you as an extension of himself. He would not have a bag like that because he sees it as childish, therefore you having a bag like that is pretty much the same as him having it. And is therefore embarassing! My ex-H used to do much the same with me, if I wore a skirt he didn't like, he would refuse to go out with me. Ridiculous!

It really isn’t. 😂

OP likes the bag. Why is its history relevant to that? I see you’re also one of the ‘it’s a child’s bag’ people. Again, why is that relevant?

Totally absurd.

Erosion of indentity 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫