DP thinks my bag is 'childish and showy'

[roastedtomatoes]

I'm originally from Sweden and back home people of all ages carry these bags. Last week, I decided to purchase a new Kånken to replace the one I've had for 10 years. Picked this colour (www.fjallraven.com/uk/en-gb/bags-gear/kanken/kanken-bags/kanken-rainbow-mini?v=F23621%3a%3a7323450792466) this time around to replace the black one I had, and DH absolutely hates it. I use it primarily for dog walks and trips to the local cafe/shops and he thinks it's too showy/childish and feels 'embarrassed' when I take it with me when we go out for coffee together.

AIBU to think that it's just a bag? It's not that bad, is it?

Yes, those bags are everywhere. I have a green one myself 😂
But a teeny tiny one from the kid's range with rainbow stripes looks like a toddler bag 🤷🏻‍♀️
A bit like those Littlelife bags that you attach a reins to 😁

This isn't about the bag but about your husband's self esteem. He's self critical, and of you, as if you are an extension of him. This underpins his embarrassment. Use your bag as you will, let him work on himself.

It's gorge. Ignore husband. Am ordering myself one as we speak

I was with your DH until I read about his shoes- the bag is perfectly fine and jolly.

My 12 year old DD has one so I do associate them with kids. In fact I think they were designed to help children's posture(?). That said, it's just a rucksack. Not my taste but your DH is being ridiculous.

If your partner’s feeling are hurt by a yellow bag, you need a new partner.

Why are so many people doormats on here??

It's a child's bag looking at the color and size. I can see where your husband is coming from.

There are rather a lot of people in London. Yes, there are lots of these bags around. And lots of others too. You know, a variety of different bags. My point (as you don’t seem to understand it) was that they are not limited to young kids, as suggested by the less imaginative on here.

Obviously wear what you want but if I seen a grown woman wearing that I would presume she was carrying her primary age child bag from school.

Five toed shoes and bright yellow with rainbow straps bags? Sounds like you're made for each other! Tell him you'll give up the bag when he gives up the shoes!

He is allowed to have an opinion. I hate it as well.

You can still use it. The only issue would be if he tried to keep you from using it but he can think it looks showy and childish. It is a child sized bag that is bright yellow with rainbow stripes. It looks very much like what young children use. The colour makes it showy and the size and colour combination makes it child like.

You are allowed to not like everything he does or owns and he is allowed to not like everything you own or do. Both of you are allowed to have your own opinions.

To me it's not about childish and showy, it's just one of those (overpriced, slightly impractical) things that suddenly are everywhere so I tend to assume that anyone who has one is a little bit of a sheep. Sorry. Also, when I lived down the road from a high school, I would estimate genuinely 80% of the kids had these, so that added a try-hard teenager vibe.

But then I am judgey AF and I don't really care, I might just have a tiny internal eye-roll at your choice of bag if we met. Nothing to get stressed about - if you like it, you go for it!

Everybody has their likes and dislikes, and quirks. And not every quirk is a relationship deal-breaker. Making allowances for your partner is healthy. Not doing so means you're intolerant and controlling. Always doing so suggests you're a doormat. It's a matter of degree.

The bright yellow one is the kind of bag my DD (teen) would wear so I would associate it with a children’s bag and assume you were holding it for your child, but my opinion and everyone else’s opinions don’t matter here. It’s your bag, your taste and your decision.

He wears five toed shoes, yet questions YOUR choices??? 😂😂

I love it, I'd use it... jealous x

It does look like you are using one of your primary children's school bags (with an expensive price tag) but if you love it.

Maybe it's the statement rainbow pride colours he doesn't like rather than the bag?

With regards to their accessories? No. Decent partners don’t care what your handbag looks like.

In your book, do ‘decent people’ also tell their partners that things they like are ‘showy/childish/embarrassing’, out of interest?

I have the yellow one too and I love it!

My husband has never even mentioned it and has been known to sling it over his own shoulder on a day out.

Your husband is BU

Showed him this thread and he has grudgingly accepted that this will be my version of his five toed shoes — other party hates it but it's there to stay

urgh, he has no taste (apart from his choice in wife, obvs)
but - how do you wear those shoes? do you have special socks? doesn't it make it uncomfortable and thick in the toe area?

What is with the dramatics? Two people have different opinions about items of clothing / accessories

Imagine if her DP posted to his running board about how his wife hates his 5 toed shoes and does like to be seen out with him and won't even look at them and his running buddies responded with...

She is unreasonable
She is childish
She is an idiot
What is her problem
Ignore her
She is just being silly - tell her off. No one cares what anyone else wears
She is a wanker - if she loved you she wouldn't insult you and put you down over something you liked.
Ditch the dodo
Tell her to lay off
She is not cool
Get rid of her
She sounds weird. What a dweeb.
Sorry she has no taste.
She is a bit of a dick. Ditch her.
She is a miserable arse
She is deeply insecure - so unattractive
What a massive low self esteem flag she is waving
She s ridiculous and precious
She is a dick
She is a soulless muppet.
She needs to be a big girl and get a grip
Tell her to sod off
You need a new partner...

And about 100 more similar comments.

I wouldn't mind buying that bag for myself if truth be told ... really nice!

If he wears anything similar to what @YesYou posted in comparison to your backpack, I know which one of you I'd have no objection to meeting for a coffee or walking the dog...YOU!!!
He can get to the far side of wherever with those footwear abominations! Nope. Whoever designed or even thought up like 'gloves for the feet' idea should have been taken outside and put in stocks so people could throw rotten fruit at them!

Hej, hej!

Also from Sweden, those bags have been around forever. I had one going to school in the 80's. I also see lots of adults carrying them here in Stockholm, especially on Södermalm and Vasastan. Wear it with pride!

It’s a bit “I’m mad, me” or “I’m a cool girl, I don’t care about fashun” or “my personality is a bit qUiRkY”

DH seems to be taking it a bit seriously though 😂