To think having children brings status?

[OutofEverything]

I should add this only happens if you are the "right" kind of mother. 17 year old with a baby does not gain status from having a baby, quite the reverse. But for most mothers having children brings an increase in status. Suddenly you are a "proper" adult.

You still get discriminated against as a mother, get judged, and pigeonholed. But that does not take away from the increase in status.

Jobs bring status, money brings status, good deeds brings status. Many things bring status

I still ask this question -

Can someone explain why having a child would bring someone status? What makes someone be viewed 'better' because they had the chance to reproduce?

Hmm, as sombody who doesn't want kids I'm unable to comment from both sides of the fence like others are.

However, I think there are things which affect status even more which are affected by motherhood. For example, a lot of women pile on the weight and never lose it, or struggle to find time for the gym.

It's sad that our society thinks this way but a slim, well dressed woman driving a sporty car is going to immediately command more status than a chubby frazzled mum driving a family saloon.

I don’t think it brings any status. Not something I even considered prior to having children.

I have noticed that I think my status at work seems to have decreased since having kids.

Was she really or did she think of herself as different therefore thought others thought differently?

@WandaWonder I believe her. She does not see marriage as an achievement and was shocked how differently she was treated.

How dis the teachers know her marital status?

My first reaction is to say no, as I personally do not think that way, but actually I see what you mean. Women lose out in career terms when they have children,but also when they don't. Patriarchy is fucked up.

I completely agree.

I personally don't think that fulfilling a basic biological function makes you better than anyone else, after all it doesn't take any particular skill to have a baby (just the desire, a partner and a dose of biological luck)

@Liorae Her husband went to parents evenings, she changed her name to Mrs his surname, and wore a wedding ring.

In my experience I’ve always been treated like a child (as if I don’t understand how anything works) by so many people (mainly men but older woman tend to mother me as well) so I don’t know what kind of status that is!
I find it really peculiar but I did have my children young and even now I still get treated like a child and at times it’s very patronising, even my 12 year old has noticed it and finds it really odd!

I don't think anyone is raining on your parade . You're proud of what you've achieved so whether someone else feels proud of starting and raising a family shouldn't diminish your experience and how you feel about yourself.

Some people are saying becoming a mother gave them an increased sense of social status because humans are naturally social creatures who value procreation and forming communities. Having kids does feel like a rite of passage, and being pregnant, birthing and raising children is no easy task. So yes, it does earn you respect amongst other mothers especially.

And for what it's worth, I'm not sure about status, but I did experience an increase in respect from my family and colleagues especially.

Not really from my friends.

I disagree, motherhood is 'exhausting and ghetto". I think it lowers womens social status in every setting other than soft play.

I think being an attractive woman gives you quite a lot more status than being unattractive. Any difference in status for a mum is negligible and is slightly negative in my experience.

Thats because women no longer seen a young single women as a threat. She's now just another married women. If anything they treated her better as her social status has been lowered.

I've observed men obtain status from becoming fathers inside and out of the work place certainly.

“But I guess according to this thread a woman being independent is viewed as less than someone who has a family. Someone mentioned how having a child makes someone seem 'grown up'? But I feel i've grown up as i've had to do all I do alone without someone by my side, having a family would have been easier.”

i don’t understand what you’re saying here. Are you talking about family as in your parents/siblings etc, or having a partner? Or both? Because having children doesn’t equal having someone by your side - it’s not that sort of relationship. I don’t agree with the thing about having a child meaning you’re more grown up, that’s nonsense, but to say that doing everything you have done having had children would have been easier, no, that’s very unlikely to be true. A supportive family/partner, yes, I’m sure.

You can travel anywhere in the world & if you are a certain age, the locals will ask if you have children (whether you are male or female)

It is a common topic of conversation

In some cultures I believe that many children, bring high status

In some cultures I believe that male children are valued, over female children

Every culture has its own beliefs

I don't believe that people who don't have children are lesser

Not in the UK no

Only brings status if you're able to leverage having kids to build on how you're perceived. Like vlog youtubers or celebrities.

For most people it brings no status, if anything, can hold you back for decades.

How did they know that she was single before that? Lack of a wedding ring means nothing, and I seriously doubt that teachers are checking parents for wedding rings.

No, kids just make me look frumpy.

you think a primary school teacher does not know who the children live with?

It's hardly a secret society if 80% of women do it.

I don't know what kind of status it would bring. Most women have children at some point - it's nothing 'special'.