Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

So many posters unable to read the OP or struggling with basic comprehension. No one gives a shit if you pick or push food around just STFU about it.

Ah this, 100%!! This is my IL’s down to a T.

Never shy of making comments about how ‘hearty’ my portions are, or that I’ve cooked way too much food.

But they always find room for a sugary dessert!

Yes OP completely agree.

It's the 'performative' aspect that is the most grating. The amount of food eaten is completely irrelevant.

It's as if they get prizes for being the most affronted by the portion size.

Best not to feed that troll, Birds. It might end up a size 8 😱😱😱

I almost always eat 3 meals per day, sometimes with snacks. And my portions are at least medium. And I've never been overweight, possibly cos a lot of my food is high-fibre, like pulses. So these bird-like eaters I find tedious also.

YANBU, it's the whole performative bit, not the smaller portions. There are people who feel the need to draw attention to how little they are eating. There's a variety of reasons someone does this (some of them may have eating disorders, but that's not the only reason).

I have diabetes and take semaglutide so I can't eat large meals and I have to eat a bit more slowly. I simply get on with it. (I also don't need other people commenting on what I am eating, including assuming that I am only eating a smaller portion because other people are watching and I'm really eating more in private, because I'm overweight and clearly thus must be a pig.)

Why do you do it? Do you feel you have to downplay or apologise/justify what you are eating?

Not everyone has the same appetite though. Everyone is different. You sound a bit judgemental to be honest.

I really appreciate your honesty in posting this! Can completely see how it becomes a habit to comment on your food.

I have once said I wouldn't need dinner when presented with honestly the world's biggest lunch, but I was brave and eventually soldiered through dinner (having not eaten all the lunch).

Maybe this also comes with the clearing your plate thing many were brought up with? If someone gives you all the food some people feel you must eat it?

It works the other way too. I used to work in an office where it was normal for them to all go out for a greasy fry up every other day, or have chippy dinner. I was regarded as a health freak with my cheese butty and lettuce leaves and endured frequent commentary on my ‘rabbit food’ lunches.
Why does food have to have moral properties, if you want to eat cakes and chips go ahead, but it doesn’t make you more fun, or relatable as a human being, it just means your eating chips for your dinner.
Commenting on peoples food is just rude, whichever camp you’re in.

The "best" comment I have ever heard was "Oh I could never eat more than one egg" referring to scrambled eggs 😂😂😂

YANBU.
"ooh I couldn't possible eat ALL THAT"
"You probably could if you shut the fuck up for five minutes"

MIL one took 25 minutes to eat a jammy dogger ( I timed her to cope) - with constant comments about how full she would be.

She is really bad though - if you are dieting she massively piles on pressure to go against it - at same time making comments to people who are eating normally.

It's very frequently directed at other women - and DH and I have both stepped in when it's been directed at our teen DD. Oddly she's an over feeder for men and boys - though teen DS gets both messages.

She was a real menace when I was pg and with small children often engineering delayed or missed meals.

She also frequent forgets she regularly eats four times a day were as DC eat three or two and I often eat twice or even once - so difference in portion sizes and cal counts between 4 meals and less is regularly ignored.

I don't know why she is like this and I don't think she realises the impact she can have.

Commenting once, how full you are when you have finished is perfectly normal. Going on and on through the whole meal is not.

I was on the fence about your first post, but fucking hell. How judgemental are you! You have a problem with the fact that a woman just ate a lunch every day that you consider too small. That's really not very nice at all.

Couldn’t get one over on OPs grammar so now you’ve moved onto body shaming. You’re a fucking delight aren’t you?

I have never commented on what people were eating, or how much. What I do find irksome is people complaining about their weight whilst continuing to obviously overeat.

I think the OP is exaggerating a bit about how much and how often they went on about it.

I mean, the way she describes it I'm surprised they were able to eat at all.

The more the OP posts the more I think it was probably just a few comments between the two women, but that touched a raw nerve for the OP.

@awaynboilyurheid

noone needs a cake after fish and chips regardless of their appetite

I think my brother does this. We do long runs together, and several times he has mentioned that nobody could need to eat (or indeed drink) on the length of runs that we usually do... if it is longer than a half marathon, then yes, but less than that and there is basically something wrong with people eating. I always bring water and something (jelly babies/whatever we have about) on a long run (anything beyond about 10k), so this makes me feel a bit embarrassed/ashamed - though I have to say it doesn't stop me doing it. Also he told me recently that no-one could possibly eat a whole half doughnut (of a particular company that do make their doughnuts quite big). But it's all pretty puzzling because he is a healthy normal size, and I'm if anything slightly slimmer and yet apparently I'm eating lots more. I think it must be performative, but it's hard to believe... I think he is trying to convince himself rather than me...

My MIL is a bugger for visiting and saying she couldn't possibly eat anything if we cook tea or order a takeaway and then grabs a plate and helps herself whenever it's ready. Drives me up the wall. I don't know if she thinks the calories don't count if you didn't say you wanted it but JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD, get your own. I have no issues with cooking or ordering for her btw, it's the refusal and then turnaround.

I'm another with a mother who was like this. If you served her what she considered a large portion, she would look at you like you'd asked to borrow a million pounds! I think with her, a lot of her behaviour stemmed from her internalised misogyny, thanks to her nasty sneering husband (my father) who thought that women only existed for men and that no woman had a right to exist unless he fancied her.

They might not have needed one, but wanted one. So what? As long as they didn't announce it to the whole office and make a big song and dance about it.

YANBU. My mother is like this and my sister is too. They've always made me feel so guilty for having what, when I'm with others, would seem to be a normal appetite. I just get on and eat what's in front of me.

This stood out for me too and that the OP still remembers it to this day.