Childfree people ranting about parents

[the7Vabo]

Came across a thread on another site full of people ranting about children entitled “parents not everything is about you.” I get it to a point, as a parent I think society has become somewhat a overly child-centred. I assume however that the odd stories you see about parents demanding people give up train seats for ten year olds are just that, the odd story of unreasonable behaviour that people in all groups can be guilty of.

The extent of the comments on that thread baffled me. Full of I’m so glad I don’t have children because X, Y. It’s one thing to want to be child free which to me is a perfectly valid life choice, but I’m baffled by the level of bitching about parents & children. If someone wants to be child free why can’t they simply be child free & accept that others didn’t make that choice instead of ranting about how parents are always on at them about how fulfilled they are while at the same time ranting about how terrible it would be to have kids.

For me, it's a direct result of a lot of workplaces actively discriminating against women without kids. It's tolerated and accepted because it's not a protected characteristic and because of feminist pressure to get mums into the workplace at any cost. I'm on board with ensuring mums can work, that goes without saying, but it grinds my gears that childless and childfree people are basically told to suffer the consequences.

Examples include never getting summers/Christmas off, always picking up slack, your health needs never being taken into consideration whereas parents are off to sports days, nativities etc. without having to make the time up, always being the ones working early/late/weekends, etc. My colleagues and I were all hired to do the same job, but now I essentially do a much less attractive job than they do and I'm paid the same.

I know I'm going to get seven billion people saying I have an employer problem - I've worked for 8 different employers, and it's always like this. It's a social mentality.

You deserve to be made a saint.

Make sure you tell your children you brought them to live on this dying planet to serve others.

Well as the manager I do know and it is actually my business as it’s my decision who gets it off, thanks for your input.

Why is it a competition? Getting defensive about it seems pointless, what about practicing some empathy. Big shock, parents want to spend time with their child at half term. Equally, of course they may be a very good reason to need to take the half term week off but if there isn't why not see it from someone's perspective rather than getting righteous about it all. Don't make the personal in to the political.

@Ginmaker how do you know I'm not a net contributor? Also human migration needs humans to migrate, so surely that means children that grow to adults and in which case you are right, maybe my children will migrate to somewhere where they don't have to support an ageing population. You obviously believe in your cause which is fine, everyone has beliefs. Wiping out the population because no-one should have children seems extreme. If wiping out the human population is your ideal, then we have different beliefs.

Equally, of course they may be a very good reason to need to take the half term week off but if there isn't why not see it from someone's perspective

Your attitude boils down to: any time that kids aren't in schools belongs to parents and anyone without children must have a very good reason to be off and if they don't then they need to #bekind and not take it. Nobody needs to have a reason to take annual leave at a certain time. The calendar doesn't blooming belong to parents. Yes, that's rubbish for them but when you have kids you have to think about how they'll be looked after during holidays. I didn't sign up to co-parent your kids with you and work all of the holidays so you can be at home.

Yes it is petty. Why not have the week before or the week after if you have no plans? Be a decent human and consider other peoples needs. That’s what’s wrong with this world too many selfish fuckers.

On the kids vs pets and importance.....

My pet is more important to me than your child is to me. I know which I would save first from a burning building on the basis that I love my pet but the existence or not of your child is irrelevant to me.

It would be different if it were the child of a family member or a friend's child.

Its harsh truth but is the truth nonetheless.

I completely agree @Courtorder . Both parents and child free adults can be horrible- the majority aren’t, but there’s always a few, unfortunately.

One thing that does annoy me about sone child free adults (again, certainly not all) is when they refer to “children” as if they’re strange species, instead of human beings like the rest of us. 😂

Again, still no one acknowledging the facts which is there are more people now in UK over 65 than under 16 in 2050 globally the percentage of over 65 will be double that of the under 5s, people on mass are choosing not to have children so where are all these majority haters coming from. Obnoxious people, individuals saying this stuff have always existed but it is simply not the pattern of choices that people are making so why would so many people be so hateful?

@BadNomad I'm sure the beatification process is already in motion

@Goldenbear I personally haven't responded to your points because I haven't a clue what you're going on about. I think the number of women without children at the end of their child-bearing years is still something like 18%, so it's certainly nowhere near the majority yet. It doesn't surprise me that that number is likely to increase due to higher cost of living, housing, level of education, climate change etc.

I think you're saying that being childfree is now the majority position so there can't be any parents left to hate, or something? I don't know.

Totally agree with this

Holidays should be allocated on first come first serve. Sorry but I disagree that you need to know everyone's personal business

@Prinnny If someone really did book a week of annual leave to get at a colleague, then there is much more going on here than you are saying. This is not normal behaviour.
I know as a Christian I booked Easter off before I had children, but that time is very important to me and i would have booked it off whether I had plans or not.

It’s not that I need to know its just I do know having managed her a long time and working in a close environment you learn about each other’s lives.

If you have multiple members requesting the same week some discussion needs to be had and compromises reached and that includes taking into account why.

This or taking turns. If you got a significant date off last year you shouldn't be guaranteed it the next year.

I don't have children. But what I do have is an adult brother with the mind of a child who adores Christmas and looks forward to it every year. But every year I was refused Christmas off work because the colleagues with children were given priority. Every year I had to deal with his sadness and disappointment at not having Christmas day on Christmas day. Every year I had to pay someone more than I earned to look after him that day because I had to work. It's shit and unfair.

fitzwilliamdarcy, actually no, it doesn't boil down to that at all. I asked why not think of the situation you are in with the colleagues you work with, try to have some empathy, I wouldn't hash tag it but kindness is key, yes, believe it or not kindness used to be a thing before it was hashtagged.

I originally made it nobody's problem and had to get some term time job that made no use of my skill set or intelligence due to the fact that I had dared to have a child. My first born was 2007 so WFH was not an option as much then. I'm now mostly WFH so have work that is worthy of my experience and attainment and the fact that there is low supply of people to recruit in my field helps so no, none of my colleagues are providing shared parental care and never have done! That is a true insult to me and my DH who have made 'all' the efforts and put in 'all' the hard work and money in to bringing them up! Besides, there is a bit more to being a parent than forgoing a particular week's dates for leave!

@BadNomad that sounds crap re holidays and your brother. Carers come in all shapes and forms and at least in the workplace today that is recognised, albeit from the sounds you won't benefit from that now.

Do you actually believe this nonsense?

Nobody takes leave just to piss off a colleague who happens to be a parent. I can't believe that actually has to be spelled out to you.

People without children can however (shock horror) have plans at the same time as mid-term.

I'm childfree and my husband is a lecturer, so we're restricted to school holidays. Are my colleagues all secretly cursing me for having the nerve to take time off in the summer, as a childless person? 😮

Honestly, it only happened that way because the mothers (nurses) refused to work. Management knew if they didn't grant them the leave they would just phone in sick and the ward would be screwed. That is the level of entitlement I'm talking about. So they got their leave and the rest of us had to just suck it up for the sake of the patients.

Anger and hatred, really 🙄 you sound a bit self obsessed if you think people truly care that much

I absolutely despise that thread. They all come across so miserable. I completely accept people's decision to be child free but I do not see the need to dog parents decisions to have kids into the absolute ground!

Have you read the experiences on this thread?

Could you be any more patronising? This is my actual experience, does that have to be spelt out to you?