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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed at poor response re street party

494 replies

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 13:58

Smallish, quiet street, approx 45 houses, generally pretty friendly. Neighbour & I thought it might be nice to throw a party for the coronation. Council encouraging it by offering road closures & free insurance.

Sent out a note with a return slip asking people to say if they would interested, if they would be willing to help and inviting comments & suggestions. Gave them 2 weeks to respond. Deadline has passed and we have 17 responses, all positive, but that's less than half the street! AIBU to think it's really disappointing and actually rather rude :-(

Think we're going to send text to those that bothered to respond thanking them but, as we don't have a majority, informing them we will not be proceeding.

😐

OP posts:
Grizzledstrawberry · 21/02/2023 15:16

Ffsmakeitstop · 21/02/2023 14:06

Some of us think it's tone deaf in the current climate to celebrate an overprivileged and over paid person who contributes sod all to the economy.

Definitely this. I won't t be celebrating.

daffodilday · 21/02/2023 15:19

How is it rude ?? Many of us would happily see the end of the royal family . It’s not rude , it’s just different to your opinion. How odd that you’d assume everyone wants to celebrate them.

ancientgran · 21/02/2023 15:20

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 14:52

Good point that, if anyone had issue with the road closure, they would've spoken up by now. Council made very clear we had to consult with neighbours to ensure they were aware, so now they are! Fwiw I'm not a royalist either, just like any excuse for a party! I'll suggest to neighbour we go ahead with those who are interested and post note detailing the arrangements through all doors nearer the time so they can choose to join in or not!

Thanks for the replies, puts it into perspective. I'm someone who always responds to things so find it odd when people don't!

Where I used to live we had a street party for something or other. We got permission to close the road but it was made clear that if any resident wanted to drive out or back in we had to move any obstacles as they had a right to free access. Don't know if that has changed.

Onnabugeisha · 21/02/2023 15:23

Think we're going to send text to those that bothered to respond thanking them but, as we don't have a majority, informing them we will not be proceeding.

But you do have the majority vote. 17/17 voted for the party. Landslide win.

It’s like any situation, if you don’t vote, it’s not counted. So everyone who did not reply, doesn’t count either for or against the party.

Dotjones · 21/02/2023 15:23

YABU to expect people to reply to you. Perhaps they have better things to do than engage with passive-aggressive neighbours shoving notes through doors and requiring a response? It's rude to just assume that they "owe" you a response, to be honest you sound like the kind of guy who says "smile love it might never happen" to random women in the street and then gets pissed off when they don't respond to it.

To answer your points:
Is it disappointing - No, 17/45 is a remarkably high return rate
Is it rude - No, you're wrong to believe they owe you their time.

Consufed · 21/02/2023 15:27

Go ahead with the party. If anyone was strongly against it, they could have said so. I think it can be hard to imagine the better weather while it's so gloomy, but enough people have said it's a good idea, and I bet more jump in later.

ItsCalledAConversation · 21/02/2023 15:28

I love a community party as much as the next resident but I’m all Royal street-partied out. Royal wedding, Jubilee, then the funeral, then all the jinx with Harry - now the Queen is gone I just can’t give that family another weekend, sorry.

EightChalk · 21/02/2023 15:29

I agree with others that 17/45 is a great response rate! I'm not a royalist either but am pro-street parties. Why not take the opportunity to have a bit of fun while everything is so stressful and filled with drudgery at the moment? Good on you for trying to organise something enjoyable.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 21/02/2023 15:29

I'd still hold it but I'd put a gate/fence up and not let the people that didn't respond in.

xogossipgirlxo · 21/02/2023 15:30

PuddlesPityParty · 21/02/2023 15:11

If they’re a mumsnetter they wouldn’t answer though 😉

Show quote history

😂

Consufed · 21/02/2023 15:31

Is it really going to be so inconvenient if the road closes for a short time? You could find a way to keep access for those who'd be most impacted. If you're in a small village with no other 'way round' that's one thing, but most places have plenty of parallel streets or the like.

Greensleeves · 21/02/2023 15:31

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 21/02/2023 15:29

I'd still hold it but I'd put a gate/fence up and not let the people that didn't respond in.

Oh, that's a great idea! You could have a couple of people dressed as Beefeaters to keep them out.

FFS. These people walk among us Grin

FilthyforFirth · 21/02/2023 15:32

Good lord, rude? I couldnt care less about the bloody royal family. I wouldnt have responded either as I dont care. But it also wouldnt bother me in the slightest if it went ahead, as I understand not everyone feels the same as me. Celebrate if you want, dont force others to.

JennyJenny8675309 · 21/02/2023 15:32

I live in the US. When house shopping, I looked for houses as far from neighbours as possible. I’m very private and prefer not to be watched by curtain twitchers. Living in a cul-de-sac would be fresh hell for me. So when a neighbour of mine organises a street party every summer, I stay in my garden in lovely solitude.

ilovesooty · 21/02/2023 15:33

cocksstrideintheevening · 21/02/2023 14:03

You've had 17 responses, prepared to commit their time in May or whenever it is in February. Pretty good going. My neighbours are all pleasant but I have no wish to have a party with them.

I agree. It's not at all rude not to respond. I get on well with my neighbours but would have no wish to attend a street party - in fact I'd be actively hoping not to have one in my street. Not remotely interested in the coronation either.

LucyLeave · 21/02/2023 15:34

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 21/02/2023 15:29

I'd still hold it but I'd put a gate/fence up and not let the people that didn't respond in.

That would be hilarious. I'd cancel my day out to watch that from my window 😂

The WI types with their Viccie sponges and egg sarnies and clipboards. If your names not down you are not coming in.

mummabubs · 21/02/2023 15:35

YABU. I think, in a kind way, no one is under any obligation to reply to your note or to get involved. You've had 17 replies, presumably enough for a lovely gathering on the day. However many people may feel either ambivalent or actively against marking the coronation, for a variety of reasons. When the Queen's jubilee celebration called for street parties last year we had only moved to our road a month or two beforehand, I had a newborn and our dog was dying. I'd have felt quite put out to be honest if anyone on the street had expected me to reply to anything and to indicate if I'd help. My point being you don't know what's going on for other people. In my opinion you're more than welcome to arrange a street party and assume responsibility for organising it should you choose, but it's actually a bit unreasonable of you to hold people to moral account if they don't share your feelings about whether to participate or not.

yeetingbird · 21/02/2023 15:35

You are outrageously unreasonable.

Cuppsoupmonster · 21/02/2023 15:36

Yesthatismychildsigh · 21/02/2023 14:00

You. Asked for them to respond if interested. How is not responding rude?

This, normally I get very annoyed at non-RSVPers, but this isn’t that kind of thing.

My road had a street party for the jubilee. I just didn’t want to go - I’m not a fan of the royals for one, secondly it was in the run up to some exams I was doing so wanted to concentrate on those. I couldn’t really lie and say I was out/busy as they would see me in my office window 😂

I think a ‘respond if interested’ approach is the best for these types of less personal events, rather than ‘everyone must RSVP’. 17 houses is a good turnout anyway.

IndysMamaRex · 21/02/2023 15:36

A lot of people don’t give two hoots about the coronation. I wouldn’t take it personally that people haven’t responded. They likely have more pressing things on their mind. Yes it might be disappointing that you don’t get to do a street party but you could still hold a party at your own house.

personally I think street party ire are ridiculous, closing a street off for a few tables. Hire a local hall etc go the park or green space

yeetingbird · 21/02/2023 15:36

Hobbi · 21/02/2023 14:15

If any of my neighbours wanted to close my street in order to impose jingoistic celebrations of privilege, wealth, entitlement and corruption, I'd treat the invite with the contempt it deserves.

I'm right with you.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 21/02/2023 15:37

Yanbu. A lot of people aren't bothered about the royal family, people work weekends or it's too far in advance to commit.

I don't think it's the kind of thing people need to reply to unless they're actually interested.

You might find more people join in nearer the time.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 21/02/2023 15:38

I couldn’t even tell you when it is!

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 21/02/2023 15:42

If you decide to go ahead with the road closure, go door to door to inform them of the date and time and make sure no one has a problem with it, then the council will let you close the road (as long as you're not on a bus route).

Posting a note asking for responses to "would you like to help with a street party" is not the same as "do you object to our road being closed", @Geminijust

We have a street party pretty often and always check the houses affected don't have a problem with it/ know to move their cars if necessary. (not doing one for the effing king, though.)

miniaturepixieonacid · 21/02/2023 15:42

17 out of 45 is AMAZING! Well done. I really wouldn't be disheartened about that at all.