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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed at poor response re street party

494 replies

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 13:58

Smallish, quiet street, approx 45 houses, generally pretty friendly. Neighbour & I thought it might be nice to throw a party for the coronation. Council encouraging it by offering road closures & free insurance.

Sent out a note with a return slip asking people to say if they would interested, if they would be willing to help and inviting comments & suggestions. Gave them 2 weeks to respond. Deadline has passed and we have 17 responses, all positive, but that's less than half the street! AIBU to think it's really disappointing and actually rather rude :-(

Think we're going to send text to those that bothered to respond thanking them but, as we don't have a majority, informing them we will not be proceeding.

😐

OP posts:
Trixiefirecracker · 22/02/2023 08:23

I doubt it’s rude, probably just people with busy lives. They may have forgotten or not got round to replying. I organise a lot of community stuff through my job and people are notoriously shite at not getting back to me, doesn’t always mean they are not interested. Always send out a reminder!

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 08:24

@OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe I don't care/ want it to be anything, I'm not going to this party! 😂

dogdaydown · 22/02/2023 08:27

Ii wouldn't want to attend or be inconvenienced in any way by that. I'll be wanting to either entertain family/friends at my house (without watching the coronation) or going to theirs! I wouldn't want to negotiate road closures.

OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe · 22/02/2023 08:30

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 08:24

@OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe I don't care/ want it to be anything, I'm not going to this party! 😂

No, but probably organising or going to your own licky lucky party.

Which is fine, but people need to stop inflicting their politics on other people, especially if it impacts them like a road closure would.

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 08:34

OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe · 22/02/2023 08:30

No, but probably organising or going to your own licky lucky party.

Which is fine, but people need to stop inflicting their politics on other people, especially if it impacts them like a road closure would.

Show quote history

I have no interest in organising or attending a street party and I'm absolutely not a royalist. But I'm OK with people having fun and celebrating it if they want to. Live and let live. It would be nice if more people shared this outlook.

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 08:35

@OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe Also I don't know what a 'licky lucky party' is, but it sounds like fun 😂

OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe · 22/02/2023 08:38

Great. Live and let live.
So you'll be happy with me having a out with the monarchy party on the same day.
Maybe I can do it on ops road. After all, sounds like there might be a few possible attendees, minus 17. She's closing the road anyway, perhaps a side each.

OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe · 22/02/2023 08:40

Licky licky implies you are willing t luck the boots/arses of those who you deem your superiors due to luck of birth.

Perhaps op could put it at the top of the invites, along with a clipart of a tampon and some ears.

Redebs · 22/02/2023 09:01

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 08:35

@OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe Also I don't know what a 'licky lucky party' is, but it sounds like fun 😂

Sounds a bit rude 😳

Maybe that's just me😁

Redebs · 22/02/2023 09:01

OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe · 22/02/2023 08:40

Licky licky implies you are willing t luck the boots/arses of those who you deem your superiors due to luck of birth.

Perhaps op could put it at the top of the invites, along with a clipart of a tampon and some ears.

Fabulous 👌

ilovesooty · 22/02/2023 09:08

Mamaneedsadrink · 22/02/2023 05:49

You sound like a barrel of laughs 😆 I think those kinds of people won't be missed 🤣 I'd just put another note with a number, PP re a whatsapp group is a great idea. Have fun!

Show quote history

And you sound like someone who won't acknowledge that people are allowed to feel differently.

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 09:08

OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe · 22/02/2023 08:38

Great. Live and let live.
So you'll be happy with me having a out with the monarchy party on the same day.
Maybe I can do it on ops road. After all, sounds like there might be a few possible attendees, minus 17. She's closing the road anyway, perhaps a side each.

😂I'm not sure why you seem to think I have some kind of interest in this party going well. You know this is an online forum. I'm not going to this party and neither are you 😂

WalkingOnTheCracks · 22/02/2023 09:13

Which would you consider rudest….?

a) no response at all
b) “What a terrible waste of time and money, and at a very inappropriate time. Is there any mechanism for me not to merely decline but to actively object - with a view to having this event cancelled?”
c) “How awkward. That’s the day that I and sixteen other residents have applied to have a street party to commemorate the

374th anniversary of the execution of Charles I.”

ilovesooty · 22/02/2023 09:15

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 08:03

I don't think OP needs to ask permission if no one has objected at this stage. It will be the day of the coronation, there is an expectation of street parties across the country. Everyone has already had a notice that OP is planning a street party and obviously that will involve the road being closed.

OP, just post a note through people's letterboxes a couple of weeks before saying "the street party will be going ahead, everyone is invited, the road will be closed and inaccessible to vehicles between X and X times on X date"

Show quote history

Why should people be expected to put up with the road being closed?

WiIson · 22/02/2023 09:17

ilovesooty · 22/02/2023 09:15

Why should people be expected to put up with the road being closed?

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Well if they don't speak up and say that, then they will have to put up with it. Obviously.

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/02/2023 09:20

Don’t see the problem, you’ve had 17 responses. The others clearly aren’t interested in the coronation.

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/02/2023 09:21

WiIson · Today 09:17
ilovesooty · Today 09:15
Why should people be expected to put up with the road being closed?

Well if they don't speak up and say that, then they will have to put up with it. Obviously”

So you think OP will not have the road closed if neighbours object?

ilovesooty · 22/02/2023 09:22

WiIson · 22/02/2023 09:17

Well if they don't speak up and say that, then they will have to put up with it. Obviously.

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I've already said that I'd be lodging an objection with the council.

Some people are suggesting that the OP should just inform people that the road will be closed. I don't think that's on.

Supergirl1958 · 22/02/2023 09:23

Zone2NorthLondon · 22/02/2023 08:22

You’re presuming neighbours care about a twee party or moribund institution
Fortunately I will not have to participate in ghastly we loves you King nonsense
yes I’d ignore any invitation to a gushy party organised by chief gerl and royalist

Presumably you’ll benefit from the BH though? If you have the option to work, go for it! Stop pedalling your anti monarchy bs on a thread that doesn’t need it, go do that somewhere else!

OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe · 22/02/2023 09:25

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 09:08

😂I'm not sure why you seem to think I have some kind of interest in this party going well. You know this is an online forum. I'm not going to this party and neither are you 😂

Show quote history

That's a shame I'm planning my bunting and music.
Alternating corgis and dead peasants perhaps.

ilovesooty · 22/02/2023 09:27

Supergirl1958 · 22/02/2023 09:23

Presumably you’ll benefit from the BH though? If you have the option to work, go for it! Stop pedalling your anti monarchy bs on a thread that doesn’t need it, go do that somewhere else!

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She can post what she likes. I will certainly be working on that day if people require my services (self employed). That will mean not wanting a load of noise in the street or being able to move my car to get to my office. The reason for the disruption is immaterial - I wouldn't want to put up with it.

PolicyOfTruth · 22/02/2023 09:29

WiIson · 22/02/2023 09:17

Well if they don't speak up and say that, then they will have to put up with it. Obviously.

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I'm not sure that you can expect people to get a flyer through their door from someone in their street about a proposed party and expect them to think "if I don't respond to this in some way then I should expect not to be able to drive out of my street all day".

If I received one, I would have either not read it and just assumed it was junk mail or thought "not interested" and binned it. I would not have thought "I need to rip off the bottom and post it back to Mrs xxxx", as not replying to me means "not interested". If I had responded with "have things I need to do that day like go to work" would that mean that the party (which people on the street don't know is potentially getting the green light yet) was cancelled? If not, then how are you going to deal with people who do need to leave their houses and who didn't agree with the party?

Personally, I don't think you can proceed with closing the road unless you are sure that everyone agrees, especially if they've not said they are interested. You could have 17+ households all expecting to drive to where ever they want to drive to on the day

WalkingOnTheCracks · 22/02/2023 09:32

Supergirl1958 · 22/02/2023 09:23

Presumably you’ll benefit from the BH though? If you have the option to work, go for it! Stop pedalling your anti monarchy bs on a thread that doesn’t need it, go do that somewhere else!

Show quote history

The question comes down to ‘Aibu to be disappointed that not everyone’s excited about the coronation?’

It’s to be expected that responses might touch on attitudes to the monarchy.

My street is having a party, by the way. I shall be in my own back garden doing a rain dance.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 22/02/2023 09:35

OnceTwiceThreeTimesATheybe · 22/02/2023 08:40

Licky licky implies you are willing t luck the boots/arses of those who you deem your superiors due to luck of birth.

Perhaps op could put it at the top of the invites, along with a clipart of a tampon and some ears.

An ear and tampon theme is probably the only thing that might actually induce me to go to a coronation party.

Smoothlines · 22/02/2023 09:36

Supergirl1958 · 22/02/2023 09:23

Presumably you’ll benefit from the BH though? If you have the option to work, go for it! Stop pedalling your anti monarchy bs on a thread that doesn’t need it, go do that somewhere else!

Show quote history

How will people “benefit from the BH”? Like most people I know, I work shifts, and BHs aren’t protected days off. If I’m rostered on, I’m rostered on -and it’s too early to know that yet. And other people will have a day’s leave knocked off their annual leave, whether they want it or not. Very few will be actually “given” another extra day off by their employer. The BH penalises many people.