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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed at poor response re street party

494 replies

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 13:58

Smallish, quiet street, approx 45 houses, generally pretty friendly. Neighbour & I thought it might be nice to throw a party for the coronation. Council encouraging it by offering road closures & free insurance.

Sent out a note with a return slip asking people to say if they would interested, if they would be willing to help and inviting comments & suggestions. Gave them 2 weeks to respond. Deadline has passed and we have 17 responses, all positive, but that's less than half the street! AIBU to think it's really disappointing and actually rather rude :-(

Think we're going to send text to those that bothered to respond thanking them but, as we don't have a majority, informing them we will not be proceeding.

😐

OP posts:
ancientgran · 21/02/2023 18:57

Oxterguff · 21/02/2023 18:42

This thread has just encouraged me to get on booking.com and book a trip for that weekend! Preferably somewhere remote where I can avoid the whole thing!

I feel like that but then I think why should I be driven out of my home. Not sure what to do.

Vinomummyinlockdown · 21/02/2023 19:17

Is this my street lol?! Someone here is planning the same with little response. I’m not interested in the coronation and can’t think of anything more tiresome than sitting around small-talking with neighbours who we don’t even get on with as they’ve all been dickheads during our extension works despite ALL of them doing constant works on their properties / bombarding us with noise etc etc (but that’s another story!) … having seen previous street parties here (think a bunch of boring fogies dancing on our green) I would decline the invite 🤣 Maybe people can’t be arsed. 17 is a lot! Be happy and party on.

Blablablanamechangagain · 21/02/2023 19:22

Urgh. You're the stuff of nightmare neighbours. Have a party in your own garden. Take a picnic to a park. Stop trying to inflict "fun" on people. If I had this through my letterbox, I'd probably send you some dogshit back tbh.

TequilaNights · 21/02/2023 20:00

There isn't even 17 houses in my street and we had a fantastic street party last time, and plan to do the same this time.

Streamside · 21/02/2023 20:26

It still feels like a long time away and people get caught up in every day living. I'd imagine you'll have more on the day.

BasiliskStare · 21/02/2023 21:17

Our street has a strange layout so at the jubilee party only 4 people were inconvenienced where there were tables laid out ( borrowed from the church usually used for Sunday school ) . Otherwise there was ingress and egress from the road . I know everyone does not like the RF but it was a rather nice afternoon ( street closed between 11.30 am to 4.30 pm. v strict - I was one who had to move people on after 4.30. ) Pub on the corner sold burgers and hot dogs ( much cheaper than their menu & also donated a crate of Pimms ) People were welcome to bring their own food and drinks if they would prefer that . All profits went to a local homeless charity & the local primary school. I thought it was a nice thing & lots of neighbours and their friends came to join in whether they like the RF or not. My Niece who lives abroad but at university in the UK liked it. It was a nice few hours.

There was some bunting but it was more of a community thing which I think people enjoyed. We are thinking of doing a coronation thing along the same lines but nothing sent out yet..

ilovesooty · 22/02/2023 02:01

@lieselotte snap! I went to Amsterdam when William and Kate got married 😉 It was very considerate of them to schedule it for the Friday just before a massive Netherlands public holiday,enabling me to have the day off to fly over without having to take annual leave. 😁

StClare101 · 22/02/2023 03:52

Of course you should proceed. That’s a great response!

Dita73 · 22/02/2023 04:57

YABU. If you’re so set on doing something for the coronation then ask people who also live close to you but on other streets if they’re interested and hire a hall or something. People who haven’t responded aren’t being rude at all. You told people to contact you if they’re interested,they’re clearly not. As for closing a street,that is just ridiculous. Times have changed a lot since the 50’s. Street parties aren’t really compatible with life today

SuperSonicMonic · 22/02/2023 05:29

Their silence should tell you all you need to know, a reply is just as much a waste of time as the coronation.

Mamaneedsadrink · 22/02/2023 05:32

Oh bugger. I wished you lived on my street. I think you should do it anyway, 17 is actually a pretty great response.

Mamaneedsadrink · 22/02/2023 05:33

Also people are useless at RSVP, so there may be a few extras. Honestly, I'd go ahead, it sounds like fun. Any excuse for a party! 🤗🥳

Mamaneedsadrink · 22/02/2023 05:36

And don't listen to the miserable party poopers on here. Also for what it's worth I couldn't care less about the RF or the coronation, I just think it sounds like a really nice and fun idea. Everyone so miserable, why not spread some joy. Good on you and the other neighbours

NewtoHolland · 22/02/2023 05:37

17 is loads! Can you not knock the door and try to speak to the others? To check they don't mind road closure? Some will have just forgotten to get back to you xx

Againstmachine · 22/02/2023 05:42

NewtoHolland · 22/02/2023 05:37

17 is loads! Can you not knock the door and try to speak to the others? To check they don't mind road closure? Some will have just forgotten to get back to you xx

If I haven't responded it's obvious I'm not interested, you going round chasing me up for not responding, I would be thinking piss off you idiot.

Mamaneedsadrink · 22/02/2023 05:49

Againstmachine · 22/02/2023 05:42

If I haven't responded it's obvious I'm not interested, you going round chasing me up for not responding, I would be thinking piss off you idiot.

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You sound like a barrel of laughs 😆 I think those kinds of people won't be missed 🤣 I'd just put another note with a number, PP re a whatsapp group is a great idea. Have fun!

Andypandy799 · 22/02/2023 05:59

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 14:52

Good point that, if anyone had issue with the road closure, they would've spoken up by now. Council made very clear we had to consult with neighbours to ensure they were aware, so now they are! Fwiw I'm not a royalist either, just like any excuse for a party! I'll suggest to neighbour we go ahead with those who are interested and post note detailing the arrangements through all doors nearer the time so they can choose to join in or not!

Thanks for the replies, puts it into perspective. I'm someone who always responds to things so find it odd when people don't!

We had one last year for the queen and it was a great success. Good luck @Geminijust

Endlesssummer2022 · 22/02/2023 06:07

If I had nothing else on, I’d turn up with some crisps and a couple of bottles of wine. I wouldn’t want to commit too far in advance and be assigned jobs which would make my weekend inflexible.

Catspyjamas17 · 22/02/2023 06:11

I agree that 17 is a great response.

When we did one on our street (in lockdown - think it may have broken a few rules) we all just had our own food and drink but on our own tables outside our house, then all went and chatted to one another outside.

It was actually a low effort and relaxed way of doing it though, rather than no 17 you bring sausage rolls and please remember no 23 are gluten free and so on.

Not sure I could be arsed again for the coronation though, not when it's the May Day bank holiday (Beltane, International.Labour Day, certainly the very opposite of celebrating royalty and inherited privilege and wealth) and given that we are allowed to actually leave the house again these days. We'll probably be going to the seaside.

Redebs · 22/02/2023 06:56

Geminijust · 21/02/2023 14:05

Thing is, the road would be closed, impacting those not taking part, so we can't really go ahead if the majority don't want it. There was the option to say they're not interested so think it's rude to not even acknowledge people making an effort, even if it's thanks but no thanks!

Maybe people didn't feel ok about saying no because they didn't want to be targeted by monarchist neighbours.
They didn't respond because they didn't want to be confrontational

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 22/02/2023 07:00

Personally, I think it's pretty rude to assume your neighbours are monarchists.

An increasing number of people don't support the royal family, and I'd be pissed off if you closed the street over this- is that even legal?

WandaWonder · 22/02/2023 07:08

The idea sounds fun but they didn't ask for this so not sure why it is rude?

Nottelling15 · 22/02/2023 07:10

I'm going to echo what's already been said.
17 is a great response considering it's 2023 not 1943 people are not overly interested in the royal family these days and personally I wouldn't attend a street party as the just seem a little bit forced and old fashioned
Good luck with organising it

Againstmachine · 22/02/2023 07:14

Mamaneedsadrink · 22/02/2023 05:49

You sound like a barrel of laughs 😆 I think those kinds of people won't be missed 🤣 I'd just put another note with a number, PP re a whatsapp group is a great idea. Have fun!

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What because I don't want to go to a party to celebrate a bunch of toffs. And if be glad to have missed it.

You do realise that many people dont get on with their neighbours, there is a cost of living crisis going on people might be more concerned with putting heating on.

And I might not want to plan for a bank holiday that far ahead.

PolicyOfTruth · 22/02/2023 07:17

I think you should just send out another notice saying that due to the response you'll be proceeding and make it clear that the road well be closed on the day as a consequence.

Otherwise you risk someone not reading / understanding / happy with the letter who didn't respond but who needs to get in and out that day. I'm not sure you can prevent them unless they agreed. I'm not sure, but better safe than sorry.