Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School toast

229 replies

Fairycake89 · 20/02/2023 14:12

Today I forgot to pay my 6 year olds toast money which they have at morning break. They gave every single child a slice of toast besides my daughter.

I have never forgotten before. Could they not have just put a note in her book bag as a reminder? Or sent a text.

You pay online for the term so I have paid it now (20p per day) including todays… even though she didn’t get any.

Should primary schools be more understanding? It’s not the child’s fault, it was mine.

Is it fair to single them out ? Toast for you, toast for you, NO toast for you , toast for you….

OP posts:
CinderellaFant · 20/02/2023 19:47

Surprised that toast is such a luxury in schools 😂
In DS school (age 6) at snack time (10.20am) he gets toast Monday, melon Tuesday, pancake Wednesday, apple Thursday and a biscuit on Fridays. We have to pay 25p a day for it, sent in on a Monday morning. Or they can bring their own snack in. No free fruit here sadly!

ConsuelaHammock · 20/02/2023 19:54

They should have given her the toast. Quite shocking that they didn’t tbh.

melj1213 · 20/02/2023 19:54

YABU this is clearly an optional extra snack and you didn't pay so your child didn't get the toast.

It's essentially a way to save parents the faff of sending their child into school with a morning snack, but it's not obligatory to have it so it's not obligatory for the school to provide it.

The school will literally have a list saying "X children have signed up for toast" and will make that amount of toast. They will not be cross referencing that list against every child who usually has toast but hasn't paid this term as there could be many reasons a child is no longer signed up - the parents may just not want to pay 20p for a slice of toast, they might not be able to afford it, their child may be being tested for food intolerance and has been advised to cut out bread etc - and it's not their business why a child no longer pays for toast.

All they know is Jane, Jack and Sarah have paid for toast and Matthew and Laura haven't so at break time Jane, Jack and Sarah get toast and Matthew and Laura don't.

Forever42 · 20/02/2023 19:55

The free fruit for KS1 in England is one of the few things the government funds....

Runtotheshop · 20/02/2023 20:03

Just donate, if you can afford it 30.00 for bread and butter for her class for the term.

Workawayxx · 20/02/2023 20:05

I think they definitely should have provided the toast. My son’s dad forgot to do him a packed lunch one day and school just put him down for a school dinner and rang me to check that was ok (which was amazing of them).

Bbq1 · 20/02/2023 20:05

TokyoSushi · 20/02/2023 14:13

I received a letter from school, all stapled up, red writing, TO THE PARENT OF TOKYOSUSHI JR, I was in 40p debt on the toast account! 🙄

I work in a school and only a minority of parents bother to pay the snack money. ALL the children receive toast (and more) regardless as it's not their fault. This does however mean that staff are habitually paying for food out of their own pocket. I understand that you only owed 40p on the toast account but if only a few parents owe 40p it soon adds up.

thedogsmum · 20/02/2023 20:13

That's awful - I'm surprised so many pps are supporting the school.

Jijithecat · 20/02/2023 20:18

I realise this isn't the point of the thread, but I'm really surprised that you have to pay so much for toast.
Bread is Britain's most wasted food and a significant amount of that happens before it even reaches the customer. So to the previous poster who mentioned a teaching assistant paying for the bread themselves they really shouldn't have to. Businesses fall over themselves to donate to this kind of thing, it's good publicity and reduces their waste which they have to pay to get rid of.
Greggs for example set up Breakfast Clubs in schools:
www.greggsfoundation.org.uk/breakfast-clubs/how-to-apply
But you could ask any supermarket and they'd probably be willing to supply you.

WetLettuce2 · 20/02/2023 20:25

So no free breakfast club then ?

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 20/02/2023 20:27

Jijithecat · 20/02/2023 20:18

I realise this isn't the point of the thread, but I'm really surprised that you have to pay so much for toast.
Bread is Britain's most wasted food and a significant amount of that happens before it even reaches the customer. So to the previous poster who mentioned a teaching assistant paying for the bread themselves they really shouldn't have to. Businesses fall over themselves to donate to this kind of thing, it's good publicity and reduces their waste which they have to pay to get rid of.
Greggs for example set up Breakfast Clubs in schools:
www.greggsfoundation.org.uk/breakfast-clubs/how-to-apply
But you could ask any supermarket and they'd probably be willing to supply you.

Why should supermarkets pay to feed peoples kids? They already get free fruit from the government and free school meals. As well as vouchers for the holidays. Asda give free meals sometimes. When do people actually feed their own kids?

SnowdaySewday · 20/02/2023 20:32

arethereanyleftatall · 20/02/2023 15:29

Tbh it wouldn't be particularly unusual to have the following complaint on mn 'I don't want my dc to have toast at school because it's not high nutritional value. Aibu to be absolutely furious that they gave her some anyway even though I hadn't paid for it so clearly did not want her to have it'?

This.

It's not about having the 20p but about having consent to give your child the food.

Schools just haven’t got the staff to phone and check, and there would be those who would complain if they did so.

Smartiepants79 · 20/02/2023 20:32

Workawayxx · 20/02/2023 20:05

I think they definitely should have provided the toast. My son’s dad forgot to do him a packed lunch one day and school just put him down for a school dinner and rang me to check that was ok (which was amazing of them).

This is lovely, but would have been completely impossible where I work.
The dinners are brought in from a central point and they only send enough for exactly the number of children who have ordered them.
The best we could have offered your child would have been a jam sandwich and a piece of fruit.

FizzWhiz · 20/02/2023 20:56

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 20/02/2023 20:27

Why should supermarkets pay to feed peoples kids? They already get free fruit from the government and free school meals. As well as vouchers for the holidays. Asda give free meals sometimes. When do people actually feed their own kids?

Show quote history

So you missed the part about food waste. Food that has gone past it's best before date but is still perfectly safe to eat.
44% of bread that is produced is wasted, which can then end up in landfill releasing methane and harming the environment. What's the point? Wouldn't you rather it was used to feed people.

I've written all this and I suspect I've wasted my time because you're not interested in the slightest and would rather be outraged by people supposedly not feeding their children.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 20/02/2023 21:01

FizzWhiz · 20/02/2023 20:56

So you missed the part about food waste. Food that has gone past it's best before date but is still perfectly safe to eat.
44% of bread that is produced is wasted, which can then end up in landfill releasing methane and harming the environment. What's the point? Wouldn't you rather it was used to feed people.

I've written all this and I suspect I've wasted my time because you're not interested in the slightest and would rather be outraged by people supposedly not feeding their children.

Show quote history

Can you imagine the uproar of feeding subpar food to people's kids? I can see the aibu?'s now. All the accusations that poor kids are only good for rotten food.

I actually think everything possible should be done to stop food waste but people do need to take responsibility for feeding their own kids sometimes too.

LakeTiticaca · 20/02/2023 21:01

A nasty mean thing to do to a 6 year old for the sake of 20p

SchoolQuestionnaire · 20/02/2023 21:04

Chat2224 · 20/02/2023 14:17

Hilarious that people are saying it's your fault so what do you expect. If I worked at the school, I'd have eye rolled at you not paying but for the price of single slice of toast, I wouldn't let a child feel excluded like that. It's so bizarre.

This.

A person cruel enough to penalise a child by withholding food for the sake of 20p has no business working in a school.

donttellmehesalive · 20/02/2023 21:46

In our school, you have a queue of hundreds of pupils queuing for toast.

Each child gives their name and if their account is in credit, they have toast.

If their account is in arrears they can't have toast.

This is because many, many parents do not pay their arrears. Last year, we lost hundreds of pounds and can't afford to keep doing it.

Office staff have to spend time chasing arrears instead of doing other things.

Many parents say 'I didn't want them to have toast, they already had toast for breakfast, or they had a different snack in their bag, or they've developed a gluten intolerance, how dare you give them toast, if I haven't sent money for toast it's because I dont want them to have it.'

There isn't time to investigate whilst serving the massive queue so - if your parents haven't paid, you can't have toast because they don't want you to have it.

This isn't the same as children who arrive at school hungry - their needs are met regardless.

And no child would ever be refused a hot school lunch, even if the account was in arrears.

melj1213 · 20/02/2023 22:04

SchoolQuestionnaire · 20/02/2023 21:04

This.

A person cruel enough to penalise a child by withholding food for the sake of 20p has no business working in a school.

Show quote history

But for all they knew they weren't "penalising" anyone, they were not giving toast to the child whose parent hadn't paid for toast and who may have done so because they didn't want their child to have toast in the first place.

How much uproar would there be if the AIBU was "My DC is being investigated for food intolerances and over half term I had an appointment with DCs specialist and we have put DC on an exclusion diet, cutting out gluten. Because of this I stopped paying for toast that DC has at school. I haven't told the school about DCs exclusion diet as DC is on packed lunches anyway so, other than the toast, they don't eat at school. AIBU to be pissed off to pick DC up on the first day after half term and find out they were fed toast even though I didn't want it, hadn't paid for it and the school didn't contact me before giving DC toast?!"

Smartiepants79 · 20/02/2023 23:07

SchoolQuestionnaire · 20/02/2023 21:04

This.

A person cruel enough to penalise a child by withholding food for the sake of 20p has no business working in a school.

Show quote history

Who does this child belong to?? Who is responsible for them??
How is this NOT the parents fault????????
It is completely and utterly the parents fault.
School might have been able to fix the mistake the parent made but they don’t have to.
People have given many good reasons as to why the child couldn’t/wouldn’t be given toast.
And I seriously doubt this child was the ONLY one who didn’t have toast. We only have 100 kids in our whole school and there are still at least 20 who choose not to bother.

PinkSyCo · 21/02/2023 00:44

Even though it would still be your fault, I would understand your angst if the school refused to give your child dinner that you’d forgotten to pay for, but no child NEEDS toast between breakfast and lunch so I couldn’t get all het up and self righteous about this.

Bbq1 · 21/02/2023 07:42

Some kids turn uo at school having not had breakfast.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 21/02/2023 07:46

Yanbu, of course. They shouldn't have singled your child out, especially for a one-off omission on the part of the parent. Obviously, it's different if you have a persistent non-payer, but even then, I would want to be very cautious about taking it out on the child.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 21/02/2023 07:50

It might be "your fault" but it is a very unkind reaction from the school. They don't know what your circumstances are, and why you haven't paid it- imagine if you couldn't afford it and a kid had no breakfast and then had to watch all the other kids have a snack.

Not sure I'd be overly enamoured with toast every day for a snack though. My kids school is fruit and veggies at break time only.

Wheelz46 · 21/02/2023 08:32

Not sure how the toast list works but you mentioned it is unlikely they thought you had opted out but would the 'toast makers' really look at the list of kids names (and even remember who they made toast for in the past).

My thinking is they probably just count how many children have toast paid for and then hand out from the list.

My boys had milk for a fair few years but then decided they didn't want it anymore, I didn't inform school, I just didn't pay on parent pay for it, they stopped getting it immediately, it wasn't assumed, I forgot to pay.