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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School toast

229 replies

Fairycake89 · 20/02/2023 14:12

Today I forgot to pay my 6 year olds toast money which they have at morning break. They gave every single child a slice of toast besides my daughter.

I have never forgotten before. Could they not have just put a note in her book bag as a reminder? Or sent a text.

You pay online for the term so I have paid it now (20p per day) including todays… even though she didn’t get any.

Should primary schools be more understanding? It’s not the child’s fault, it was mine.

Is it fair to single them out ? Toast for you, toast for you, NO toast for you , toast for you….

OP posts:
Sherrystrull · 21/02/2023 10:18

The toast will be a breaktime snack.

All children will have had breakfast. (Any that arrive at school without it will be known to staff and given breakfast quietly).

The staff making it will be given numbers of parents who have paid (or those on FSM) and make that exact amount of toast.

There will be lots of children who don't have toast. They will either bring their own snack or eat free fruit provided by the school.

They will then have their lunch in about an hour.

I really don't think it's the big issue some posters are making it.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/02/2023 10:20

Yeah they should've given her some. My dd gets about 3 school dinners before I get a letter home. But one and it's an email. So we get plenty of chance. The letter was a bit embarrassing for her though lol

Grizzledstrawberry · 21/02/2023 10:22

Thats awful, with everything in the news about child poverty and children going hungry why the hell would they let a child go hungry for 20p! Surely as a teacher you would rather 20p out of your own pocket (even if it was for multiple children) then watching a child go without, disgusting behaviour!

WandaWonder · 21/02/2023 10:29

But your own child is one child and you missed once, but if every parent thought like this it soon adds up

It is easy to say 'my child' but they run with more children

toomuchlaundry · 21/02/2023 10:33

@Grizzledstrawberry teachers already pay enough out of their pockets to fund many things in school. They have probably already provided a snack for a child that has come to school without breakfast.

Maybe, people should be angry with the Government for underfunding schools and child poverty.

AndTheSurveySays · 21/02/2023 10:39

Thats awful, with everything in the news about child poverty and children going hungry why the hell would they let a child go hungry for 20p!

A child isn't going to starve because they didn't eat toast at break.

noblegiraffe · 21/02/2023 11:42

A teacher giving the kid 20p wouldn’t magic up toast. Schools are cashless.

People calling the teacher disgusting for merely handing out toast to kids who were on the toast list need to get a grip.

Forgetting lunch is entirely different.

donttellmehesalive · 21/02/2023 12:07

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/02/2023 10:20

Yeah they should've given her some. My dd gets about 3 school dinners before I get a letter home. But one and it's an email. So we get plenty of chance. The letter was a bit embarrassing for her though lol

Most schools allow arrears for dinners. We wouldn't let a child go without their lunchtime meal.

Toast at playtime is optional. Lots of children bring their own snack from home, and lots just aren't hungry.

donttellmehesalive · 21/02/2023 12:08

Grizzledstrawberry · 21/02/2023 10:22

Thats awful, with everything in the news about child poverty and children going hungry why the hell would they let a child go hungry for 20p! Surely as a teacher you would rather 20p out of your own pocket (even if it was for multiple children) then watching a child go without, disgusting behaviour!

She had breakfast and lunch. I think it's hyperbole to suggest a child can't go between meals without toast.

melj1213 · 21/02/2023 12:40

Grizzledstrawberry · 21/02/2023 10:22

Thats awful, with everything in the news about child poverty and children going hungry why the hell would they let a child go hungry for 20p! Surely as a teacher you would rather 20p out of your own pocket (even if it was for multiple children) then watching a child go without, disgusting behaviour!

A child who has had breakfast before school and will have lunch in an hour or two is not "going hungry" just because they didn't get a snack at break.

For all the school knows the parent has stopped paying because they don't want their child to have toast at school any more. Parents don't have to pay for a morning snack and they also shouldn't have to justify to the school why they are no longer paying (perhaps they can't afford it or perhaps their DC just wants to take fruit or a cereal bar instead) it should just be taken as intended - if I haven't paid for toast I don't want my child to have toast. If that turns out to be a parent's admin mistake then they can rectify that at their convenience.

If my DDs school had offered toast I would have not paid it as DD has toast for breakfast at home and doesn't need to have toast twice every morning, she would have toast with peanut butter or cheese in a morning and then take fruit or a yoghurt for morning break. If someone had taken it upon themselves to give her toast anyway I would have been annoyed.

Also, how many children are teachers supposed to pay for? One? Two? What happens if it's every day? Paying 40p a day for two children doesn't sound like much but that's about £12 per half term or £72 a year out of their salary which they are probably already using to pay for resources and other essentials they need to do their jobs.

And that's before they're expected to "just cover" other small costs because parents have not paid for something.

Favouritefruits · 21/02/2023 14:21

@Caterina99 my son does have a special treat box at school with dairy free chocolate and individual wrapped biscuits in, but she didn’t even think to give him one of those! She’s a newly qualified teacher and cry’s a lot I’m scared to bring it up in case she cry’s, I don’t want to make anyone cry.

Lindycg · 21/02/2023 14:36

Is it Primary School policy or just a member of staff who refused to give your child toast? What/whoever that's not a good thing to do to a child who can possibly carry a stigma that could've been avoided.

Sherrystrull · 21/02/2023 14:37

Favouritefruits · 21/02/2023 14:21

@Caterina99 my son does have a special treat box at school with dairy free chocolate and individual wrapped biscuits in, but she didn’t even think to give him one of those! She’s a newly qualified teacher and cry’s a lot I’m scared to bring it up in case she cry’s, I don’t want to make anyone cry.

It's sad that she cries a lot. It sounds like she needs support. You need to raise it though.

hot2trotter · 21/02/2023 14:38

What about if your child is sick or not in school for some other reason, do they reimburse or re-credit your account?? I'm guessing not! That's one of the things that p's me off about my kids's school - I pay for their milk every term but when they are ill or miss it for whatever reason it doesn't put my account in credit (and some days they don't even get milk because the delivery is late or the teacher didn't have time (!) but that's a whole other argument)

Lindycg · 21/02/2023 14:38

There could be deeper ramifications than the 'won't starve' thing. And that's where we (as a society) become unstuck.

Mamabear48 · 21/02/2023 14:40

Oh that’s really petty of them. What horrible people

Justmeandthedog1 · 21/02/2023 14:42

No, I wouldn’t have seen a kid go without for 20p. I’ve had to give my lunch to a child on more than one occasion. Not the child’s fault.

donttellmehesalive · 21/02/2023 14:45

Lindycg · 21/02/2023 14:38

There could be deeper ramifications than the 'won't starve' thing. And that's where we (as a society) become unstuck.

Children who have not had breakfast are cared for on arrival.

Accounts can go into arrears for lunches.

This is an optional mid morning snack. Many children will bring a snack from home and several will have been refused.

The person serving won't know why money wasn't on the account and it could have been that the parents didn't want her to have it.

Often, when we chase arrears for toast, we are told that they won't pay because we shouldn't have given it to them - they had a different snack in their bag, had a big breakfast etc

There isn't time to investigate with a big queue to serve.

xogossipgirlxo · 21/02/2023 14:45

We don't know how many kids would teachers/schools have to pay for. It's not their fault. Your child won't be traumatised because of 1 day without toast.

Pinkclouds80 · 21/02/2023 14:50

Deeply, deeply c*ntish behaviour by the school.

QueenoftheFarts · 21/02/2023 14:50

When it's 20p for a slice of toast, it feels a bit mean. The kid isn't responsible and this really excludes them if they were the inly one not getting toast.

If it was a bigger sum I could understand it.

For example I run a community club, and every term, some parents just don't pay up in time, or without being constantly reminded. In fact one parent never paid at all last term. It makes me the arsehole.

I make sure people know that if they are on tough times we have options to support, but the parents struggling are not the problem here.

The non payers seem to have no grasp of the fact that when they don't pay their fees, it's me that makes up the difference to hire the hall, or cover the club insurance, or buy new equipment.

It comes out of my personal pocket.

When they say they want to be entered to an event or competition, but dont send the money in, and i say dont worry, I will send it off, and then they also don't turn up.... yup me again....

And in order for it to not be me paying the difference, I either have to put prices up for everyone, or start putting the kids of the crappy parents in the position of being singled out.... its shit.... because people are shit....

Now I wouldn't deny a kid over a 20p slice of toast.... but these things do add up....

So if you are a parent of a kid attending a small sports club or activity, take a moment and ask yourself who pays the difference when you don't pay on time or forget completely.... ?

Because its usually people like me.... and some of us are starting to wonder why we bother at all.

Cheesyball · 21/02/2023 14:53

Term started yesterday. Schools just had half term.

SofiaSoFar · 21/02/2023 14:56

Pinkclouds80 · 21/02/2023 14:50

Deeply, deeply c*ntish behaviour by the school.

I don't think I'd be calling anyone a cunt over a slice of toast, but here we are.

emmathedilemma · 21/02/2023 14:57

I hope she asked for 2 slices the following day!!

Mosschopz · 21/02/2023 15:03

It’s not about the fact that it was only 20p, or that you always pay on time, policy is policy and I’ll bet that the increased cost of living has LOADS of parents either forgetting to pay or paying late then whining about how it’s ‘only 20p’. Schools are running tighter than ever budgets and they can either run these schemes like tight ships or ditch them. What would you rather? And if they take action this swift, your daughter will be seeing this every day and I’m sure wont be unduly traumatised…

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