Pregnant women are not respected the same anymore

[Grannypantsandtea]

Is it just me or are people more inconsiderate to pregnant women (and new mums) than they used to be?
I remember being pregnant with my eldest 11 years ago, people would hold open doors, offer me seats etc. A lovely man helped me carry my buggy down stairs when the lift was broken. Older people would stop to fuss over the new baby.
Im now pregnant again with a very obvious bump and I’ve not come across one kind person yet.
Ive had people push into me, rush to get ahead in queues, run to take a bench I was clearly trying to sit at while feeling faint, not a single door held open, a woman pushing past to get into a lift so I couldn’t (spd so struggle with stairs).
Maybe it’s just me being old fashioned, I certainly don’t expect special treatment, but to lack consideration for a woman struggling seems to be a recent thing, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people.
I have always been thoughtful to pregnant women, holding doors open for buggies etc, I thought it was just a general part of respect in this country but it’s sad how the world has changed in a decade.
Has anyone else experienced this complete lack of care towards others or is it just me? I’m prepared to be told I’m precious, but it only takes a few seconds out of your life to stop and let a pregnant lady walk past for example.

Incidentally I went to Paris with my toddler in December and everyone genuinely couldn't have been lovelier - a guy came at the Louvre to help us and a man in a wheelchair to the front of the queue, everyone in restaurants couldn't have been kinder etc.
It felt so weird when the reputation of Parisians is that they are rude - I honestly wanted to move there afterwards, it was just such a breath of fresh air compared with London.

I feel the need to say this because in my opinion being pregnant is not comparable to being disabled.

I am not saying people should be barging into pregnant woman just comparing it to being disabled is offensive.

Blimey some of these responses 😬 you can see some of those with disabilities get treated poorly with these attitudes around.

Yes pregnancy is a choice but it can be really uncomfortable and can make you very ill. I always try to be considerate to anyone who may need a bit of help whether they're disabled, elderly, pregnant, broken a leg etc.

It doesn't cost anything to be kind. Letting someone have a seat, opening the door for them, letting them go to the loo first if there is a huge queue.

These comments say it all really. I totally agree with you OP, whilst pregnancy is not a disability it is very hard work, it can be exhausting, and you are very vulnerable. That’s if you have an easy peasy pregnancy. There’s a total lack of respect for pregnant women and new mums these days.

I dont think anyone has said that a pregnant woman does not deserve a seat, but a lot of people will not offer due to the possibility of offending said pregnant woman.

@madamovaries we went to Australia recently and the difference in the way kids were treated was very noticeable. Far more family friendly!

UK seems to be every person out for themselves!

Recently in a large shopping centre so many people were getting into the lift, teens, young to middle aged adults who seemed perfectly fine to get one of the escalators. Wait for the lift was 5-10 mins. Parents, elderly and wheelchair users waiting to get the lift and still these people were piling in - I waited for the wheelchair users to go before me but honestly I do wonder what’s wrong with people sometimes.

But if that's how the OP feels, why is she assuming people are psychic about her pregnancy, even if it wasn't Winter and hidden underneath a coat?

64% of people in the UK are overweight, the onus can't be on them to risk upsetting a woman by assuming she's pregnant.

People have got nastier, more selfish and deeply unpleasant op. As you can tell from some of the responses on this thread.

In what way are pregnant women and new mums deserving of any more respect than anyone else?

I was lucky enough to spent most of my pregnancy in Asia, where there were special pink chairs on the subway just for pregnant women. Might be linked to the low birth rate, but I found people to be considerate.

Also, looking at the replies this thread, am genuinely shocked that even on Mumsnet, there isn't more sympathy for pregnant women (shout out though to the lovely people who have been kind).
I had such severe pelvic girdle pain last time in the final trimester that I had to go upstairs on my knees and could barely walk. I was very sick in my first trimester this time. I am thrilled that other women don't have that experience of pregnancy - but surely most of us have friends who have had a rough time and couldn't we show a little more empathy to those who do?
I still had to work full time through this, with almost no kindness or sympathy from my bosses frankly - but I expected a bit more kindness from some Mumsnet users (!)

Woman chooses to play football, gets a nasty tackle, ends up with a broken leg and needs to use crutches for a few weeks while it heals.

Woman does not deserve any compassion/respect from other people or, god forbid, a door held open for her, because she CHOSE to play football. She is just as able-bodied as everyone else.

Is that what we are saying?

Agreed.

It's deeply unpleasant to compare pregnant women with disabled people.

It really can be associated with disability in the last few months (when visible) for many people. Not permanent but temporarily for many will experience fainting, extreme tiredness and trouble walking, as well as a myriad of other health concerns.

Also I think what the OP is suggesting is to not be rude. To have people who are clearly able knock in to you is not a nice society when your are also able bodied. But when you clearly aren't then it's worse.

I haven't had special treatment whilst pregnant. I don't expect it. But if I experienced bad treatment, I would feel more vulnerable than normal and it would be upsetting.

Pregnant people? You mean women surely.

and yes pregnancy isn’t a disability but it can cause it whilst pregnant.

I was wheelchair bound with my first born due to severe SPD and pre-term labour threats.

@Grannypantsandtea sorry people are being such arses- I think in general people are more self centred and in their own little worlds especially since covid. My H has his faults but one thing I do like is he is always considerate towards disabled people,mums with buggies , young kids etc .

Tbh, I do think they is an undertone of anger with many people currently. I read somewhere, maybe even on here about an article about average reading age of adults has dropped considerably and many people have reading ages of a year 3 year old this inturn means their intellectual capacity to understand concepts, have empathy etc. Is simply not there. I take my daughter to an expensive area for music lessons and there is always somebody being aggressive or unbalanced. I had one man, who looked a regular kind of man walk past me and just randomly declare me a slag. I was nowhere near him and didn't know if I had heard correctly so said, 'excuse me', he turned around and shouted it again and again walking back towards me. I did say to him, 'dont call me that, who the hell do you think you are.' he then was further annoyed but he was very overweight and although came after me, soon gave up as he was too tired.

@Grannypantsandtea
I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people.

Believe me, they do and worse. Please don't make such insulting comparisons when you don't have a clue what you are talking about. If you think the law protects us from self-absorbed tossers then you are very much mistaken.

I am sorry if people are rude to you - but you are beeing rude and offensive towards all disabled people, and it only takes a second to wonder why so many people with disabilities resented your needless comment and apologise. But you didn't, you just kept going. So sometimes, perhaps, it is people who are preganant who are self-centred and thoughtless???

I think the responses wouldn't have been so snippy if OP hadn't assumed that disabled people get any more respect than pregnant women do.

Having SPD certainly is very disabling, and extremely painful. it may not generally be a long term disability but it can certainly be regarded as a temporary one.

A little bit of kindness goes a long way.

I don’t know how the OP feels, that is how I feel.
I wore a baby on board badge, am quite a petite person so it’s very much all bump rather than big all over and plenty of times people still didn’t offer me a seat.
You don’t need to be be psychic to see a pregnancy badge.

Disabilities can arise during pregnancy. A disability is something that impairs your ability to do normal day-to-day activities. It become covered under the EA when that condition lasts longer than 12 months. Obviously pregnancy doesn’t last that long but it doesn’t mean a pregnant individual can’t also have a disability.

Someone upthread also mentioned you are disabled for life which shows some limited knowledge here. Disabilities also don’t always last for life. Some worsen over years, some improve, sometimes treatment can be fully effective. Sometimes it isn’t. Everyone doesn’t have the same experience of disability. Every woman doesn’t have the same experience of pregnancy.

So far this time I’ve not experienced anything like the OP has specifically related to pregnancy (yet) but I do think general attitudes of the public are appalling. In our quest for individuality the community has been lost and there’s just a general lack of consideration for others. I find the public in general (in person, but particularly on threads like this) to be much worse than it was 10+ years ago.

Perhaps they were going to the car park levels? In my local big shopping centre the escalators only go to the second shopping level. There are 5 car park levels above that.

1. Most people don’t give any sort of priority to disabled people
2. how do you know that the people taking the seat or the bench or whatever are not disabled and in need of it?