Pregnant women are not respected the same anymore

[Grannypantsandtea]

Is it just me or are people more inconsiderate to pregnant women (and new mums) than they used to be?
I remember being pregnant with my eldest 11 years ago, people would hold open doors, offer me seats etc. A lovely man helped me carry my buggy down stairs when the lift was broken. Older people would stop to fuss over the new baby.
Im now pregnant again with a very obvious bump and I’ve not come across one kind person yet.
Ive had people push into me, rush to get ahead in queues, run to take a bench I was clearly trying to sit at while feeling faint, not a single door held open, a woman pushing past to get into a lift so I couldn’t (spd so struggle with stairs).
Maybe it’s just me being old fashioned, I certainly don’t expect special treatment, but to lack consideration for a woman struggling seems to be a recent thing, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people.
I have always been thoughtful to pregnant women, holding doors open for buggies etc, I thought it was just a general part of respect in this country but it’s sad how the world has changed in a decade.
Has anyone else experienced this complete lack of care towards others or is it just me? I’m prepared to be told I’m precious, but it only takes a few seconds out of your life to stop and let a pregnant lady walk past for example.

YANBU that pregnant women need to be considered, but YABU saying that they need to be respected, above and beyond the basic respect that all human beings owe to one another.

I took respect to mean the respect we all should have for one another, but exercising it means something different if people have different needs.

SnackyOnassis It’s a shame you feel like that, everyone deserves respect regardless of their circumstances. No one deserves a door slammed in their face or someone pushing into them, pregnant or not.
I’d never ask someone for their seat etc, I don’t like confrontation at the best of times, I only go out to do the school run and to the local shops at the moment as I’m worried about having a fall, so no special treatment demands or expectations. I just don’t think it’s respectful to push in, shove or race to a bench.
Some of the PP have hit the nail on the head, the country has lost all care for each other. There’s no community spirit anymore. It’s everyone for themselves. I really despair.
Of course some disabilities are temporary and not always for life. Broken legs will still be a disability, Curable but may have life long repercussions. I’m informed enough to know not all disabilities are visible or permanent. Some people really like to make a mountain out a mole hill and take other peoples threads into their own hands on here.

Fucking hell some of these responses. A bit of common courtesy never goes astray but especially when someone looks like they might need a bit of help, whether disabled, pregnant, laden with small dc or bags, or just bloody shattered for one reason or another.

Cowardly though to come on to a predominantly British site, slag us and the UK off but refuse to say which country you're from.

But your prerogative I guess.

Of course, but I was taking issue with your contention that naming the country you live in would be outing.

You can be very ill in pregnancy

Strange response but ok.

Why did you take issue over it?

I’d never ask someone for their seat etc, I don’t like confrontation at the best of times

So it's up to other people to have X-Ray vision, look through your Winter coat, deduce you're pregnant and not overweight like 60+% of the nation and then offer you a seat because you see a simple request as confrontation?

Have you ever thought of taking a tiny big of responsibility OP?

*bit

When I saw your comment about disability I cringed as I knew what way the thread would go. You might have not meant offence but it’s reasonable not to bring it up while taking about pregnancy.

I was pregnant about two years ago and people were kind to me. I don’t remember any rudeness though I wasn’t travelling much. Also people regularly hold doors for my pram.

While I agree pregnancy is a choice it doesn’t justify people being rude or not making allowances for mobility issues etc as some rude commenters imply or flat out say.

I tagged the wrong comment accidentally. It was intended for @TellMeAboutItAnotherTime

Jealousy of what?

Do people not ask for a seat if they want one?

We are not all that bad 🙄

So you compare a broken leg to a disability?

Because I’m not sure it would be outing to name the country you’re in, but it’s your choice.

Agreed, got some lovely UK friends and family.

It's not an illness but you can become seriously ill

Was that intended for me?

If so, then no, a broken bone isn't the only temporary disability people have.

Conditions can and do improve. Treatment can have a big impact.

Maybe semantics but to me, that's consideration, not respect. I don't respect a pregnant woman more than a non-pregnant woman, on the basis that she has different needs. I will give her more consideration than a non-pregnant woman on the basis that she either has, or has communicated, additional needs. But I don't think she's more of an awesome person, or deserving of additional praise or awe - that's how I interpret respect.

I am nearly 30 weeks pregnant now, if i wear a coat you can not tell i have a bump. I use tube a lot as work in London but nobody ever offered me a seat I am not bothered as I feel absolutely fine and its just impossible to tell with a coat on. I think if you are feeling unwell during pregnancy you should wear one of those baby on board signs so people know and if you need to sit down dont be afraid to ask. A lot of people assume pregnant women are all fit which is not true.

Then I presume a pregnant seriously ill women would be in hospital or bed ridden? Not out and about waiting for people to open doors for them or wanting people to offer seats because they can't ask?

I think you're confused. Individuals don't have a duty to prioritise disabled people. Organisations, groups and businesses have a duty to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate disabled people to provide equity to them in terms of how they experience something.

Pregnancy is not a disability, and whilst many will feel a moral obligation to hold a door open for you or offer you a seat, those who don't aren't treating you worse than they treat other people. Comparing pregnancy to disability in relation to the adjustments and entitlements you feel you should be afforded is frankly offensive.

I personally will always extend courtesy to people because it feels right to me to do so. I expect none back but appreciate when it happens.