Pregnant women are not respected the same anymore

[Grannypantsandtea]

Is it just me or are people more inconsiderate to pregnant women (and new mums) than they used to be?
I remember being pregnant with my eldest 11 years ago, people would hold open doors, offer me seats etc. A lovely man helped me carry my buggy down stairs when the lift was broken. Older people would stop to fuss over the new baby.
Im now pregnant again with a very obvious bump and I’ve not come across one kind person yet.
Ive had people push into me, rush to get ahead in queues, run to take a bench I was clearly trying to sit at while feeling faint, not a single door held open, a woman pushing past to get into a lift so I couldn’t (spd so struggle with stairs).
Maybe it’s just me being old fashioned, I certainly don’t expect special treatment, but to lack consideration for a woman struggling seems to be a recent thing, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people.
I have always been thoughtful to pregnant women, holding doors open for buggies etc, I thought it was just a general part of respect in this country but it’s sad how the world has changed in a decade.
Has anyone else experienced this complete lack of care towards others or is it just me? I’m prepared to be told I’m precious, but it only takes a few seconds out of your life to stop and let a pregnant lady walk past for example.

Respect also means having consideration for the wishes, feelings and rights of others. Nothing to do with abilities or achievements.

Why does that even need pointing out to an adult? It does illustrate the issue though. Angry people who have regard only for themselves, who don't ever want to consider what anybody else might need. Pathetic!

I've noticed a marked difference in the general quality of people's care for others over the last decade; selfish and grasping is a better descriptor. They do want this for themselves and their own children though... for people to attend and be considerate. They can't see the disconnect.

OP... you made your point very well, you really did.

I genuinely felt like I was going to die due to hyperemesis and memories of it still keep me awake at night 6 months later.

I can imagine it was absolutely horrendous.

I get what you're saying OP,but your comment that you're sure they wouldn't do it to disabled people is not entirely accurate! As a person with a disability myself,I have experienced similar things to what you describe,e.g. taking the last seat on a bus because I'm too slow to get to it first, pushing past me in queues,and even shoving me in the back when I've been 'too slow' getting on or off a bus!

I live in London and have never witnessed a disabled person being overlooked

I suspect the fact that you’re privileged enough to not be disabled is why you think disabled people are never overlooked or treated like shit.

I have had three pregnancies while commuting to London and it's not absolutely hideous - while it's not a disability in the typical sense it can make you very uncomfortable and I had SPD with 2 of mine resulting in crutches at times. Looking back I could have gone off sick but I didn't. It's terrifying when you feel sick / hot / dizzy / in pain and train stuck in tunnel etc or on crowded train standing up. Once I got onto tube and asked a man if I could have the priority seat - he totally ignored me, so I asked several times (I was 7-8 months pregnant and standing )

• thinking he may have been foreign so didn't understand. He then just said no, tough! This is my seat in perfect English and was young and fit looking, I was so upset. Then the bloke next to him kindly offered his seat and I had to sit rest of journey with him man spreading into me. I never asked ever again.

Being pregnant is really tough!!

Your centre of gravity goes, ligaments, muscles change etc ligaments loosen. Standing on busses and trains is scary when you have sudden jerks. Coupled with nausea, dizziness etc etc . I have encountered some people being really impatient and angry when I have been out pregnant, with a toddler and another child - it's really tough. I think most people kind but there are definitely plenty who are not.

Typo!! That should say it IS absolutely hideous 🤦‍♀️

You still don’t get it. Just because YOU don’t see the discrimination doesn’t mean that every disabled person is treated well where you are!

You literally contradicting the experiences of people with disabilities on the thread who trying patiently to explain to you to stop talking about things you know nothing about.

You brought up a stupid comparison. If you’d just acknowledge it was stupid instead of trying to endlessly defend it, the thread probably wouldn’t be so derailed.

YOU are the one who made it pregnancy vs people with disabilities and YOU are the one who said people with disabilities have it better which is NOT TRUE and was completely uncalled for.

Women don’t want to be treated any differently, even when pregnant. We still want to be treat and viewed as a regular person. Not every pregnant woman needs to sit down or use lifts rather than stairs, most just bumble on fine. It isn’t a disability. I think people naturally assume a pregnant woman is capable of standing/using stairs because most are.

Please do highlight the sentence where I specifically said disabled people have it better. You’re twisting words to try and justify your nasty comments. I have already on many occasions stated I know disabilities are discriminated against but I have not witnessed it, not that I don’t believe it’s non existent. You have no reason to continue posting here, make your own thread to rant about your bitterness elsewhere.

Omg this! I worked in maternity services many years ago and the vast majority of ladies were lovely ( with the odd arsehole). I went back s couple of years ago and I couldn't believe how different it is now. Pregnant women today think they are special and are so so entitled! As if they weren't bad enough there also pushy fathers to deal with now as well! I lasted under a year before moving to a job where I don't need to deal with that shit!

Some of the responses make me wonder if some are jealous of OP's pregnancy.
Both my pregnancies have been straightforward but I did notice with my second that near the end I could barely manage the school run due to pain in hips etc and wouldn't have been able to stand very long on the bus on the way to and from work.

Also HG can kill. Charlotte Bronte died of it.

Thank you, you hit the nail on the head. Lots of posts well put on here, sorry I can’t quote you all as I can’t catch up quick enough but I really appreciate all the kind comments. Lots of nasty people here too which just highlights what’s wrong with this country, lack of respect and empathy just because other people have different experiences.
It’s shocking to read so many men refusing to give a hand to women, my grandad would always tell me stories about being a gentleman and how important it was ‘back in the day’. I think some of them forget a woman birthed and raised them. Luckily it seems to have been men who are considerate, I’m most shocked by the let down of women especially those who are also mothers. Women sticking together used to be thing, clearly long gone like kindness!

I imagine it’s a combination of some people being more selfish in general and not giving a shit about others along with a growing sense of entitlement that some pregnant women have.

For someone to be classed as disabled in the UK they have to have a condition which causes substantial impairment and last 12 months or more. Pregnancy is not a disability.

OP never compared the physical experience of being pregnant to being disabled. She said that she didn't think people would be so inconsiderate of disabled people. Many people have shared their experiences that yes, people are inconsiderate to disabled people too. That's awful. But it doesn't mean that the OP considers that pregnancy and disability are interchangeable. She just thinks people should be accommodating of the needs of others, surely we all agree on that? It shouldn't be a bun fight.

I doubt it’s jealously, my baby has over populated the world you see 😆just nasty bitter people with nothing better to do with their day.

Thank you for articulating my meaning properly, I’m not sure why it became a belief that I’m apparently assuming disabled people have an easy life and I deserve a red carpet!

I was once abroad when about five months pregnant. I was at a tourist attraction and the queue for the women’s toilets was ENORMOUS. A female attendant working in the men’s spotted me in the queue for the toilets. She pulled me out of the queue and took me to the men’s where she cleaned a cubicle for me and blocked the area off to ensure men couldn’t enter (the urinals were still available). She chaperoned me until I was safely outside.

She was amazing and I will never forget her kindness in a time when I was in need. I didn’t expect it but I was bloody grateful. A bit of kindness to anyone, disabled, pregnant or otherwise, goes a long way.

A lot of people who are pregnant are sick or struggling though. Pregnancy complications are no joke.

People who have adopted the 'pregnancy is a choice, suck it up' mentality seem to be completely oblivious, or maybe just don't care that pregnancy can be pretty debilitating for a lot of women. Not everyone who is pregnant needs a seat on a bus, but a lot do. People used to ask more.

I did NOT know this! I feel this should be more commonly known. Pregnancy nausea and vomiting is often dismissed I think, but can be so awful.

NC fail?

@Muffinmonster50 are you the OP?

Disabling is not the same as saying disabled.

Also, for those of us who are disabled, pregnancy complications can exacerbate existing conditions. My joints are hyper-mobile. Add in Pelvic Girdle Pain and it's a lot worse. It may only be temporary, but it is still hard.

If someone were in a cast with a broken leg, they're not disabled. But a broken leg is disabling, and most people would agree they need extra support/ consideration for the period of time their leg is in a cast.

I find it very difficult to believe that where you live, people are utterly respectful of people with disabilities and yet apparently mowing down pregnant women.

There has been a cultural shift in attitudes to pregnancy. There used to be a lot more appreciation of the needs of pregnant women, but nowadays people are more selfish and intolerant.
Pregnancy and caring for babies is a big thing for celebrities and royalty, but when ordinary women do it, they are viewed as selfish nuisances. Bizarre!