To ask for only on Mumsnet facts/opinions? ( light-hearted)

[bluelollipop99]

I'll start....

It doesn't matter you have two kids and have lived together five years , he's your boyfriend, not your partner if you are not married...

You are a terrible mother if you introduce a partner of less than two years to your children...

The on the beach advert is mentally scarring...

Any woman agreeing with a man isn't voicing her own opinion, it is internalised mysoginy.

Women should be able to talk freely, openly and safely anout sex if they choose to (unless of course it's on the sacred forum, they will be bombarded with irrelevant comments/ recipes/ trolling). Ergo women can use their voices, as long as it's how certain users allow 😏

If your partner forgets to take the rubbish out you must LTB
If you're happy he's remembered it's his turn, your bar is too low!

Fuck off to the far side of fuck is an amazing comment (it is not)

Ooh I have another one; if you're struggling emotionally with anything, go private and get therapy.

Never, under any circumstances, EVER go to a&e

No wonder the NHS is on its knees

Yes 80k means you're living on the breadline. Goodness know how you manage to pay the cleaner

Any bride to be inviting you to a hen do that involves more than a quiet local drink at a time you can arrange a baby sitter is inconsiderate and entitled.
Your husband however should be waved off with a smile for four day stag do's multiple times a year as (unless you're very feeble, and also controlling) you can easily cope alone with 3 small children while pregnant. Your mother can help.

MN children: tall, slim, sporty, very bright,
RL: majority obese, and average intelligence

MN: child badly behaving? Must be ND
RL: brat

MN: MIL is narcissistic , mother can be relied on and must see baby regularly, MIL may be allowed 5 minutes, 3 times a year, Easter, birthday, Christmas for the presents. Your brother has a MIL that is a nightmare, he must be at fault.
RL: DILs become MILs ergo DIL may actually be the problem

MN: child is nasty/ violent to sibling, cousins, pets. You must talk to them, understand them and have granny look after the injured sibling, cousins put up with it, and rehome dog.
RL: shout first time, remove second time, third time hard smack on backside. Dealt with. Child behaves.

MN: 25 year old is disrespectful, does nothing round the house, pays no board, they are still developing
RL: houseshare or studio flat rental time

MN: 25 is barely an adult, parents should still be supporting
RL: ND aside, 21 and above are definitely adult 18-21 young adults, some ready to be adult, some need a little help if immature.

MN: giant salads inhaled by teenagers
RL: Where are the chicken nuggets mum?

All small business owners are ridiculously entitled to expect any sort of work life balance, should remind themselves that they are there to serve and that their customers don't owe them the charity of buying their products and services.

If their business is not success it is because they are flaky / unemployable/ an extra from the League of gentleman and any shortfall is not down to any sort of global economic downturn, lack of buying power and difficulty in keeping up with trends, they just have to think more creatively and adapt.

They must simultaneously provide a welcoming bricks and mortar establishment with top notch customer fawning and also do a roaring online trade.

And if they accept cash they are obviously fleecing HMRC 🙄

(Based on a thread I've been whinging on over the last couple of days) ((I may be feeling a little jaded))

My DH does this (at home), apparently it's less 'splashy'

I don't recognise most of these as being general views of a majority on MN.

If anyone does anything a little more 'extravagantly' than you, they are clearly only doing it for the social media content, not because it's something they enjoy

No one ever just eats a pizza or macdonalds for the second time that week because they can't be bothered to cook. It's always a "rare treat".

I also once heard someone say that you might as well just feed your children haribo if they eat grapes.

The ones on this written by men are SO obvious

If you're a stepmother, you're wrong.

Doesn't matter the topic, just know that you are.

You can get 10 meals from a small chicken

And all salads are massive!

If your husband/male partner inherits money, it is 'family money'. If you inherit money, it is your money.
Buying from Shein is comparable to Nazism.
If a woman removes her pubic hair, she is doing it purely for men. Even the women whose religion requires them to do this.
If you don't mind your DH/DP playing on the Xbox, you are automatically a 'cool girl'.

and anything more than two squares of 'good quality' dark chocolate is pure PIGGERY!

Don’t ever buy a gift for anyone on your DHs “side” it is his family and his sole responsibility to buy gifts & cards for them.

Health visitors are sent by the devil himself

However your husband/partner's MIL is like a saint incarnate and her presence must be tolerated by him however she behaves.
Your husband/partner is not allowed an opinion regarding the home or children, he has to 'support' the woman's opinion on everything.

2 months, surely. It takes considerably longer to get over child birth than in the 'olden days', pregnancy operates quite differently.

Has anyone mentioned that friends you meet through your children are not ‘real friends.’ Neither are friends you met whilst you were at school. Neither are your work colleagues or people you got to know through work. No, despite your having a great relationship with these people, they are not ‘real friends.’
The truth is you are a sad loser without any ‘real friends.’

Also absolutely nobody, and I mean nobody irons, ever.
Except me having just ironed 2 tops because I can’t decide which one I will be wearing tomorrow and no, I am not wearing creased clothing.

Nobody ever calls in sick to work unless they have been hospitalised

I find it quite strange that people are the hygeine police about washing clothes, towels, cloths, bedding etc (separately of course) every 10 minutes, and need to shower multiple times a day....but no one ever irons.....although "taking in ironing" is always suggested as a way to make money.

On that note "childminding" often seems to come up as an easy way to make money, which I find quite mind boggling.

OP: while doing the dishes, my husband walked by and smacked my arse

Poster: so you are OK with your husband sexually abusing you

😂