Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for only on Mumsnet facts/opinions? ( light-hearted)

319 replies

bluelollipop99 · 19/02/2023 21:22

I'll start....

It doesn't matter you have two kids and have lived together five years , he's your boyfriend, not your partner if you are not married...

You are a terrible mother if you introduce a partner of less than two years to your children...

The on the beach advert is mentally scarring...

OP posts:
Emptycrackedcup · 21/02/2023 02:05

If a woman wants to leave a relationship it's because she's unhappy. If a man wants to, it's because he's having an affair

MissTrip82 · 21/02/2023 02:37

Cuppsoupmonster · 20/02/2023 01:31

Everyone knowns a 49 year old who got pregnant naturally with twins, all healthy and happy and mum doesn’t look a day over 30

I mostly see the opposite of this, very negative responses to older mums (but not dads…….) and lots of ppl who are 31 and yet somehow ‘on their knees’ with exhaustion who couldn’t contemplate having a baby after the age of 25.

WandaWonder · 21/02/2023 03:17

A lot of poster's have psychic ability

Post - my husband got a birthday day card off a older female colleague

Reply - she has toy boy issues and needs to ensure they are married so they can run off and have an affair every lunch break. You must leave him now!!!!! There will be a facebook post soon to show how proud she is of breaking up a family, I need a fainting chair I am so invested in this

NellyIrrelephant · 21/02/2023 06:32

Everyone WFH with a “big job” that they get done in 2 hours and spends the rest of the day pottering in the garden.

shinynewapple22 · 21/02/2023 07:27

NellyIrrelephant · 21/02/2023 06:32

Everyone WFH with a “big job” that they get done in 2 hours and spends the rest of the day pottering in the garden.

Or alternatively the assumption that this is the case for everyone who WFH.

No-one can imagine a bog standard administrative job which takes the same amount of time to do from home - and in fact longer now you are covering infilled vacancies - but will suck it up because anything is better than sitting in a traffic jam for two hours a day.

Roseey · 21/02/2023 07:46

Every MN child has a full compliment of 7/8/9s at GCSE and A*/A at A Level.

MrsToothyBitch · 21/02/2023 08:24

Babies before 24/25 : you're too young and resourceless and irresponsible and selfish.

Babies after 25/26: you're too old and you'll be a geriatric in nappies by the time your child is 5. You'll be too old and exhausted to ever manage - so irresponsible and selfish.

How dare you spend more than £2.50 on a wedding and arrange it to suit your own tastes.

bluelollipop99 · 21/02/2023 08:47

MissTrip82 · 21/02/2023 02:37

I mostly see the opposite of this, very negative responses to older mums (but not dads…….) and lots of ppl who are 31 and yet somehow ‘on their knees’ with exhaustion who couldn’t contemplate having a baby after the age of 25.

I'd say I see a disgusting attitude to "younger mother's" ( under 30 in Mumsnet land), and older mother's , ( gave birth over 40).

Women who have children over 40 , ( and normally the op is pregnant at 42 rather than 52, because, biology !!) are considered to "ruining their freedom" and "selfish as they won't be around to see their children grow up " ( ignoring the fact they will probably be 60 and working full time when the child turns 18, rather than 90 and needing a carer!)

The attitude on Mumsnet seems to be that if you weren't lucky enough to find your life partner young, you selflessly embrace childlessness cos having a child age 38-44 is the most disgusting and selfish thing. IRL , most people acknowledge fertility declines with age , but are happy if a friend / colleague aquantance is able to conceive in their late 30's/ early 40's. On Mumsnet people are "horrified" by the idea.

More seriously, the abuse on Mumsnet towards younger mum's is horrible. There was a very sad thread recently where the OP was 24 , had a six year old and a newborn , ( she was 3 weeks postpartum). She'd also lost a previous pregnancy at 17 weeks , and had clearly found this to be very traumatic.

At three weeks postpartum, she was typing about how appallingly the baby's father was treating her. Mumsnetters were falling over themselves to rudely demand why she'd had a baby so young ( at 24....) and tell her that "3 pregnancies by 24 was disgusting."

The same in the thread about the 19 year old who's health visitor was behaving innapropriately. People falling over to tell her that at 19 she wouldn't be able to parent without significant support.

The latter MNHQ needs to crackdown on, as young mum's won't post if they're asked to justify why they had a baby young.

OP posts:
xogossipgirlxo · 21/02/2023 09:20

Mercedes45 · 21/02/2023 00:07

OP: while doing the dishes, my husband walked by and smacked my arse

Poster: so you are OK with your husband sexually abusing you

😂

THIS! 😆

Busybody2022 · 21/02/2023 09:21

School isn't childcare. In the real world it 100% is

Crikeyalmighty · 21/02/2023 11:04

I missed off earlier- allMN children attend multiple activities every week- usually sporty ones

No one's kids seem to do bugger all apart from play on phone and game consoles or TV or read at home a lot. I certainly didn't have a sporty son- he hated it, he did however like building laptops from scratch and setting up YouTube channels and worked in tech right from being 16 (apprenticeship)

God knows where all these kids who are never in do the homework to get all their A* results

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/02/2023 11:15

Everyone’s teen boys are skinny as rakes but regularly eat full loaves of bread as a snack or a huge big bowl of pasta after a roast dinner or whatever.

And the posters smile at them indulgently and don’t bat an eyelid at the unnecessary greed and cost of all that food!

Cuppsoupmonster · 21/02/2023 11:33

If you have sick child, ‘calpol and crack on’. Even if they have a 40 degree temperature and can’t stop being sick.

bluelollipop99 · 21/02/2023 11:45

Also all Mum's of babies have six figure, exciting , jet-setting careers with international travel that they cannot wait to finish maternity leave and return to ; no one cares admit they work an average admin job , childcare costs means there is no real financial benefit to returning to work before DC is three and that actually, being a SAHM is often more relaxing and enjoyable when the children are under school age

Instead , on Mumsnet everyone has high powered careers they make Maternity leave look like a drudge; and careers that are so high powered that mean taking a couple of years out will mean they will never return back.

OP posts:
Cuppsoupmonster · 21/02/2023 11:49

All babies are also huge - over 99th centile - and go straight into 0-3 clothing. Newborn wouldn’t even fit over the leg.

Equally if you’re having a baby, don’t buy a single thing - all you need is 2 second hand Frugi sleepsuits and 3 muslins, and these will be gifted by family and friends. Anything else will be a waste as the baby will be stuck to the boob for the best part of a year anyway.

A baby breastfeeding for 12 hours without a break isn’t starving, they’re ‘cluster feeding’, even if their weight gain and demeanour suggests otherwise. If the health visitor tells you they haven’t regained birth weight at 2 months old just smile, nod and continue to breastfeed.

LaMarschallin · 21/02/2023 11:50

and that actually, being a SAHM is often more relaxing and enjoyable when the children are under school age

I always wondered if it might be.
But you're not supposed to use the words "enjoyable and relaxing" about the Hardest and Most Important Job in the World.

bluelollipop99 · 21/02/2023 11:51

Cuppsoupmonster · 21/02/2023 11:49

All babies are also huge - over 99th centile - and go straight into 0-3 clothing. Newborn wouldn’t even fit over the leg.

Equally if you’re having a baby, don’t buy a single thing - all you need is 2 second hand Frugi sleepsuits and 3 muslins, and these will be gifted by family and friends. Anything else will be a waste as the baby will be stuck to the boob for the best part of a year anyway.

A baby breastfeeding for 12 hours without a break isn’t starving, they’re ‘cluster feeding’, even if their weight gain and demeanour suggests otherwise. If the health visitor tells you they haven’t regained birth weight at 2 months old just smile, nod and continue to breastfeed.

100% this.

OP posts:
bluelollipop99 · 21/02/2023 11:53

Daisy is just a nickname; all little girls called Daisy are really registered as Margaret on the birth certificate

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 21/02/2023 12:07

@icanneverthinkofnc
MN: child is nasty/ violent to sibling, cousins, pets. You must talk to them, understand them and have granny look after the injured sibling, cousins put up with it, and rehome dog.
RL: shout first time, remove second time, third time hard smack on backside. Dealt with. Child behaves.

I don't recognise this as RL at all. I don't know a single person who currently smacks their children.

NewNameNigel · 21/02/2023 12:13

Loo brushes are disgusting yet sticking your hand down a toilet bowl and wiping shit off with a handheld cloth is fine.

Anyone who smokes it vapes is obviously a terrible person in all areas of life and makes a point of going up to non smokers and blowing it in their face.

If a man lies to you about being single it's your fault for not realising you are ow and falling for the lies. Even though the wife who lives with him and knows him better also fell for the lies which would point to him being a pretty good liar.

Taking in neighbours parcels isn't just a normal part of living in a society. Its actually a huge burden so you should refuse them.

CrinkleCutChips · 21/02/2023 12:21

That your long term friend of 25 years who has been there for you through thick and thin is a cheeky fucker, who you must go no contact with, if they don’t repay you for one Costa that cost £3.50 on one occasion.

That you’re a terrible mother and awful human being if you charge your child rent, even if they’re on a decent wage and you’re struggling.

That the word moist is terrible. I just don’t get it. MOIST MOIST MOIST

That you must keep your finances a closely guarded secret from your husband. However, if he comes into some money and doesn’t tell you, then he’s a fucker and you should LTB.

Renoir56 · 21/02/2023 13:05

That if someone reaches out for advice or help or just to start a conversation the first person to post will inevitably just want to piss on their chips (reminded of that by a post about perfume I've just been reading).

Conkersinautumn · 21/02/2023 13:09

Relying on family for childcare is acceptable. Or even somehow owed. Honestly I'd be embarrassed.

OoooohMatron · 21/02/2023 13:36

Conkersinautumn · 21/02/2023 13:09

Relying on family for childcare is acceptable. Or even somehow owed. Honestly I'd be embarrassed.

I think the opposite is true on MN actually. Families supposedly should never help each other out!

potniatheron · 21/02/2023 13:52

A small pack of pate makes an excellent 'centrepiece' for a hungry family and even then they'll take a week to eat it all.