To expect him to pay

[Robinkitty]

If you paid for a weekend away, brought dinner the first night would you expect the other person to pay for food the next night? Important to add the other person is skint and the food intended to be ordered cost less than £20?

It's 'bought' not brought

Well, not when you actually “brought” the food with you, Clever Dick!

No. Obviously this person can't afford it. If you invited them on the weekend knowing they were skint you should be prepared to pay for everything.

And yes to the person who said do I know how much less than £20 is if your skint yes I do. Very well. He’s not that skint he can afford to live and socialise.

Firstly, it’s bought. Not brought.

Secondly, you’re being used.

I wouldn't expect anyone who's skint to pay for a meal out.

You say it’s a new relationship. Just end it. He sounds like he’s using you. You won’t have an enjoyable relationship with this person. Try to enjoy the rest of this weekend as much as you can and then dump him and don’t look back.

OK, so you’ve realised you’re being taken for a ride.

Better to know that now.

If you're both struggling financially I think booking a weekend away was a bit daft.

I’m actually really sad about this, I do think I’m being used and hate myself for letting it happen. Fucking dick I am!
Just to make it clear, he would happily buy himself a takeaway at other times (when I’m not there) skint as in being careful not buying designer trainers and not skint enough to pay your own way.

Sounds like selfishness in that case. Kf you're skint a takeaway is an unnecessary expense. This guy will happily spend on himself.

Ok - in case I’ve missed it, copy and paste the bit where OP said she “brought a takeaway.”

As far as I can see - OP’s first post says “I brought dinner” and she actually brought stuff for dinner with her, as clarified in her later post where she says “I brought all food and snacks including breakfasts.”

Both correct uses of the word “brought.”

Also calling me a “gobshite” is rather rude, and also inaccurate. Saying “clever dick” is just an old-fashioned joke that you are trying to be clever and superior, but actually wrong.

All this, as I say, as far as I can see. If you have seen an incorrect use of brought then post it and I will bow to your superior looking skills.

Ok, going on a weekend away with a new relationship with you really dont have it spare wasn't the best plan, but it did show you who he was very quicky.

the money this man, who is tight rather than skint, is costing you is money better spent on you and your child.

time to ditch.

I don’t know if he using you for money but it does Sound like he’s taking advantage of your generosity. I have had friend like that, I offer to pay for something and they never ever think to reciprocate or even chip in slightly for eg. Pay the tip at a restaurant. Then I hear of them spending large amounts of money on dinners with other friends. Now I’ve stopped doing that the friends are still around, but they just know it’s 50/50 now!

Personally it would be a red flag for me because I like men who don’t just take what they can get but actually consider fairness. I’d lose respect for him and be concerned how this mentality would manifest if we ever lived together.

Has he ever taken you out or treated you on dates?

the money this man, who is tight rather than skint, is costing you is money better spent on you and your child.

Precisely.

Throw this one back, to use MN speak.

You can do better. And even if you couldn't, you'd still be better off on your own.

He is a cocklodger in waiting...

so despite you being hard up you decided to have a weekend away.
you should have laid ground rules
gone dutch.
discussed it
communcation is almost always the answer

Why was none of this discussed before hand? Makes no sense.

Why is someone so broke going away?

There have been other incidences too

I thought there might have been

Since you've clariffied that he has money to live on a also treats himself, I'd say it's pretty clear he's taking you for a mug - not acceptable if you were a millionaire and certainly not when you're struggling yourself.
So I'd chuck this one back, and next time maybe see how the land lies before laying on too many treats

You're being used, OP, having read your updates.

Sadly, I suspect he views you as 'desperate', a single mum who is struggling and might feel more likely to 'try hard' to not look like you're looking for a meal ticket, hence him taking advantage of you and your limited funds while he cries 'skint' and continues to socialise with his friends and buy designer shoes.

He's a jerk. Bin him off.

Sorry, he doesn’t buy designer shoes, I said or should have said, he’s skint enough not to buy designer shoes but not skint enough to not be able to pay his own way.
Being generous is just in my nature, I guess I’ve met someone who takes advantage of that. I could afford the weekend away but it was done on a budget. I will lay some boundaries now, no more of my money will be spent on him!

Was it a joint decision to go away?

Neh-neh neh-neh Cocklodger Alert sounding ! 🙀

No, I wouldn’t. I would give it as a gift and then assume splitting the bill the next day unless they wanted to pay.