Starting to look pretty shit

[givemeenergyplease]

Me, I am.

I’m 45, have a 5 year old and just recently I’ve started to get to the stage where I look not great and nothing helps. For example, before I could slap some tinted moisturiser on, mascara etc and look ok and quite presentable…recently, I have such puffy under eyes (no idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️) my skin is so dry…I even now use the big blue Nivea tin at night and it’s the only time my skin feels nice. My hair is dry and without that shine or gloss..used to like my long, dark hair. Now when I put even a light foundation on it almost looks worse and highlights any lines/creases. I want to feel and look good with a glow, what can I do? I know I don’t drink enough water, so I’m working hard on that (often have kidney stones, think it’s due to not drinking enough) I don’t drink much at all these days, maybe four times a year, if that. I haven’t smoked for years. I don’t work out as find it hard to find the time, take the dog for walks most days though, but I know that’s not enough. I live in a sunny place but wear sunglasses and full factor on my face, admittedly not daily, need to get better at this and not just do it when sunbathing.
Any help/tips? Anyone been the same and turned it around?
I realise it could be peri menopause, although don’t really have any of the other symptoms..always tired, but put that down the having a v active child!

I'm with the don't give a shit, turn a blind eye posters. Focus on how you feel, physically and emotionally, and try to enhance those with healthy food, lots of water, exercise, sleep.

If you're preoccupied with your appearance then living without mirrors might help break bad habits. Just a basic functional square above the bathroom sink is fine. I'm often taken aback by how many mirrors in some homes, and how much time people spend looking in them!

I'm 46 and since January have been focusing on a bit of an overhaul to combat rapid aging.

Ive upped my water intake to 2lts per day
Ive joined weight watchers to finally shift that stubborn 1.5 stone that makes a big difference due to being small. Lost 10.5lbs so far
I started C25K to improve my fitness and have just completed week 6. I could barely run for a few seconds and yesterday I ran for 25 mins. I will continue 3 x 30 min runs per week. I have already noticed a difference in my shape.
Started HRT
Started taking multivitamins, calcium and biotin

I've had a complete skincare overhaul, I have very sensitive skin so I had to make sure that products were suitable, and had to slowly introduce them in to my routine.
I apply in this order and wait a few minutes between each application:
AM: Cleansing oil, Vitamin C, Hyaluronic Acid, Moisturiser, SPF (then make up if wearing)
PM: Cleansing oil, Hyaluronic acid (on damp skin), Retinol (every other night), Ceravee Moisturiser, Neck/Décolletage cream.

I have booked in for Botox for frown lines and forehead lines next week.

I walk the dog every day so get 45 min of fresh air

I will start gentle exercises using weights on my non run days when I complete C25K.

I can see a bit of a difference already but this is a long term plan so hopefully will be beneficial long-term.

I

I’m in a similar boat. In the last few months I’ve started using Skin+Me (partly for dark spots @HildasLostSock ) and it’s definitely making a difference. Getting my skin looking good then means I don’t need to use too much makeup - I really think that wearing as little as you feel you can get away with is the answer as you get older. I now use a La Roche Posay SPF every morning as well as whacking on the Nivea morning and night! I’ve got a referral link (one of those where you get money off and I do too) if you fancy trying Skin+Me, happy to PM it to you.

In the past, I aimed to eat 7 portions of fruit and veg a day, and it made a huge difference to my skin, energy levels, etc. Now I really struggle to fit that with kids etc, but it’s worth aiming for!

If you’re not good at drinking water, try electrolytes. I like the Zero Hi5 ones. That way whatever water you do drink is working harder for you.

Any fluid equals fluid it doesn't have to be water. Even tea and coffee count according to the NHS website. People think coffee dehydrates you, but it doesn't (after all, it's almost all water.)

Caffeine doesn't dehydrate as such, it just makes wee that was already in your system go through your system faster.

I'm looking into face yoga...

I'm 64 and have never been classically attractive which has helped me not give a shit as I've aged. My female partner HAS been a very attractive woman all her life and is depressed as feck now she's 67 and not looking as good as she'd like to.

Carve out more time for yourself.
Lots of great tips above.
HRT helped me. Lots of healthy fats especially avocado - makes a noticeable difference to my skin and hair. I rub a tiny bit of Olaplex oil to the dry and brittle tips of my hair, makes the ends shiny and healthy looking.

I need blusher, or else I look sick. And max factor stopped making the one I use (soft murano).
I always hated lipsticks with a sheen, I can’t think for the life of me what the correct term is, mother of pearly type of thing. I got one as a gift and duly tried it, OMG, I love it! It really suits me and it’s not as obvious as I thought it would be.

My trick is to try and dress in such a way that it detracts from problem areas.
I plan to grow old outrageously :)

Hair masks, Botox, Invisalign, never wear powder, go blonder, more layers, day and night moisturiser and lots of water or herbal tea. And also just accepting that it's only a matter of time.

With your puffy eyes it will really pay to cut out sugar, low-quality bread & processed food. It's tough for six weeks then your tastes will change. With water, I find it's good to drink a glassful first thing in the morning so I'm not playing catch-up all day.

I got very puffy under eye at 45, turned out I had hay fever. Never had it before, but it can be a midlife surprise

anti histamines made it a lot less worse

Hi op. I'm 57, and dealing with menopause. If you can get hrt right it helps, but I think there's an enormous amount you can do in terms of drinking water, eating properly and exercising. I like a few glasses of wine at the weekend, but I always notice that the day after I look like shit. Which I can accept one day a week 😊

I would recommend Caroline Hirons book about skincare - no nonsense and sensible. I bought the kindle version for 99p but when I just checked it it was £0. But I'm not sure if that's because I already bought it. I've just treated myself today to a cleansing balm, milk cleanser, deep moisturiser and serum.

If you're bothered about how you look then it does need a bit more effort as you get older. If like some posters you don't give a shit how you look and you embrace your natural look, great - you do you 😊

Cut out sugar. Be ruthlessly firm with yourself. 55 year old you will kiss your feet for this.

Take biotin.

Take vitamin D.

Use a sunscreen/ moisturizer product every day.

Increase your veggie intake significantly.

Drink 64 ozs of water daily.

Salt content in processed foods. Hidden salt. It would be worth getting your kidney function checked by your GP.

As you often have kidney stones this would suggest it is related to your kidneys, and as you drink insufficient water/fluids, your kidneys may be struggling, hence the puffy eyes.

I would look at diet and fluid intake and health before I invested in a new face cream.

YY to collagen supplements.

THIS! 👌🏼 alongside VERY subtly and artfully done Botox and facial fillers!!

HRT!

But it’s Niacinamide 😬 not *Niamincide

Checking in to come back, thanks for the tips

Not sure if anyone else has said, but a gua sha is really good for depuffing. Run under cold water and gently stroke around the eyes, from bridge of the nose to your ear and down the throat. Can also do it at night with warm water to warm it up. Really works to depuff.

I actually think a trip to the hairdressers and slapping on some quite dark fake tan can make all the difference! I’ve just got used to looking ‘meh’ every time I see myself in the mirror but I’ve done fake tan this week for the first time in ages and actually saw myself in the mirror today and didn’t look bad!

I do think spf, drinking loads of water, eating right and exercising help but for a short term fix slap on some moisturer and fake tan!

I dealt with this by not giving a single shit, it's very liberating. Natural aging is nothing you need to hide or worry yourself about.

I'm 51 and deal with it in exactly the same way. Also by taking super-strength fish oils, drinking plenty of water, and not smoking or drinking alcohol.

Also by realising my life experience and associated confidence is worth so much more than youthful beauty. Leave that for the young-'uns. We've had our time.

Also seen people have lymphatic drainage done in their face before and it looks amazing!

I am 51 and pretty happy with my face thanks to prescription Tretinoin, no alcohol or smoking, very little to no sugar, and Asian genes. (My body is another matter).

I am not planning to do any Botox or fillers. I do give a shit about how I look but not that much.

Watching this with interest, I'm now 42 and whilst I have become more comfortable in my own skin (which is great) I'd really like to improve my skin routine - which is currently as basic as it comes