Starting to look pretty shit

[givemeenergyplease]

Me, I am.

I’m 45, have a 5 year old and just recently I’ve started to get to the stage where I look not great and nothing helps. For example, before I could slap some tinted moisturiser on, mascara etc and look ok and quite presentable…recently, I have such puffy under eyes (no idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️) my skin is so dry…I even now use the big blue Nivea tin at night and it’s the only time my skin feels nice. My hair is dry and without that shine or gloss..used to like my long, dark hair. Now when I put even a light foundation on it almost looks worse and highlights any lines/creases. I want to feel and look good with a glow, what can I do? I know I don’t drink enough water, so I’m working hard on that (often have kidney stones, think it’s due to not drinking enough) I don’t drink much at all these days, maybe four times a year, if that. I haven’t smoked for years. I don’t work out as find it hard to find the time, take the dog for walks most days though, but I know that’s not enough. I live in a sunny place but wear sunglasses and full factor on my face, admittedly not daily, need to get better at this and not just do it when sunbathing.
Any help/tips? Anyone been the same and turned it around?
I realise it could be peri menopause, although don’t really have any of the other symptoms..always tired, but put that down the having a v active child!

The two ageing things are lots of sun and smoking. A lot of the rest is genetics.

I’m 43 this year. I have Botox on my forehead and around my eyes, and fillers on the vertical lines above my top lip. This has taken at least 5 years off me.
the things that age me are: alcohol, lack of sleep, dehydration

so I try and be in bed by 10pm every night and drink as much water as possible. I can’t say I drink no alcohol, I have two kids 😂

Botox can look good at 40, which is really not old. But if you keep having botox it will age you.

Another thing I did was thicken my fringe and change my hair colour to a little darker as light blonde can be harsh (I am naturally dark blonde)

I'm 37 and everyone seems to think I'm in my 40s. I'm pretty non fussed by looks generally but it really gets me down. Booked a first secret botox session for next week

Well, I'm 50 and nowhere near the menopause according to my most recent blood test 🙄annoyingly 'things' are more regular now than when I was trying to have the kids in my 30s! OP, you might find you go in fits and starts - get scrubbed up and see if you're still unhappy with how you look. I have days where I hate how I look and think, this is it, I'm old! But then make an actual effort and all is right again 😏also some brill advice above that I'll be following myself!

You need a skincare routine. You can't just slap on a bit of moisturiser and hope for the best anymore!

Just don’t look in the mirror that’s my approach. Refuse all photos. Denial and assume you look the same as in your thirty’s.

no one else really cares!

I'm amazed how much moisture my skin needs now I'm older.

I wear SPF 50 every day. Use hyaluronic acid, and moisturiser every morning, and then retinol or other moisturising serum every evening, followed by a facial oil - the Votary one is good.

I think you can do quite a bit without going down the Botox route but there comes an inevitable ageing post 50.

The only way to look better is to heal from the inside out, nothing you slap on will make any difference. Simple nutrient dense foods, water and good supplementation plus no processed food.
I eat 6 eggs a day and never eat seed or vegetable oil. Only use butter, olive oil or coconut oil.

Botox can look good at 40, which is really not old. But if you keep having botox it will age you.

@OutofEverything IDK I think it makes people look younger, otherwise it wouldn't sell. You have to keep having it as it goes out of the body and your wrinkles go back to what they were after a few months.

Obviously too much of anything can look Joan Rivers-y eventually.

Peri menopause could be leaving your skin very dry and the tiredness. You could try supplements if you don't have any other symptoms

Things I'd recommend...

Tretinoin- gold standard for anti aging and has transformed mine (37) and mums (67) skin! Prescription only but can get one online from dermatica.uk! Well worth it.

After 35 I was told to wear diff makeup that illuminates rather than Matt as Matt highlights wrinkles etc. I've started using collection gorgeous glow filter finish. It's dirt cheap and can buy on Amazon. I use as a base and gives a lovely glow and had lots of compliments.

Lastly, for your hair K18 mask is incredible. You can buy a little tester pot before buying the larger bottle. It's fab!

I know you mean well, but I do find replies such as this pretty unhelpful. Not everyone is happy to just let things go.

Aaaargh!!!

Omega 3 and not giving a shit

I don't really believe in peri menopause- well I think the focus on it is hyperbolic. There are women even in their 30s trying to blame things like obesity on peri menopause.

The individual conditions a woman has can be treated rather than going on about peri.

I'm 46 and nothing has changed particularly when it comes to hormones etc (I've had bloods for other stuff so I'd know) even though my mum had menopause at 47. I think it'll hit me when it hits me maybe.

I think it's important to accept getting older - you will put on weight, you will look less fresh faced. By all means take some steps to improve, but be realistic.

Not going to gym for 2 years due to lockdown made me put on about 1.5 stone by early last year (age 44) and as I'm small that was quite a lot and made me look rather 'stout' and I didn't like how I looked on Zoom calls etc, plus I have a joint issue could be exacerbated by weight gain so I decided to lose it while I didn't have too much to lose, having never really dieted in my life. I went back to the gym for 2 1-hour sessions per week and I used Noom (but you could use any calorie counter) to low calorie diet for 3 months and lost the weight. I've put on half a stone back in the 8 months since ending the diet, but that's OK and shows that evidently the gym is doing most of the work in maintaining.

I went back to having short hair (as I have for most of my life until 10 years ago) end of last year and I have to say I am really happy with the way I look now. Which is definitely older, and definitely not slim, but it's me 'all grown up' and that's fine.

Sorry it meant to say Niamincide - used for oily skin and open pores etc.

It's an acid. A company called the ordinary sells it xx

@LapinR0se I use all the expensive creams, follow Caroline Hirons but I spent last 15 years drinking, smoking, tanning, not drinking water. Trying to change my ways but the damage is done. Also two toddlers so no sleep.

I am 37 but look 8 years old. Not paranoid. People have got my age wrong multiple time

Going to botox for first time next week and now worrying it will be too noticeable. I want to go in and say hardly do anything...which seems a bit pointless given its costing 300 quid or something! What do you mean it will start to age you! Was hoping for the opposite!

I wash my hair twice a week very lightly (but I know that some people can't last that long) and put a hair mask on for half an hour beforehand. I like L'Oreal Dream Lengths.

@givemeenergyplease Depending on your budget, a friend of mine supposedly has really awful hair, hairdressers won't even dye it because of the condition. She got some sort of extensions done by the hairdresser that clip in and out which she can do herself. You wouldn't know they're extensions and her 'hair' looks gorgeous. If you wanted you could do that while trying to work on your real hair's condition.

I feel like this and I'm not even 40 yet. Also find it a lot harder to lose weight these days which is getting me down. My face is definitely more lined and saggy in places. Hair has always been shit. Ageing is fun.

I'm in the same boat OP, puffy eyes, in certain light my face is looking a little saggy generally and having had oily skin all my life its now so dry, as is my hair (which I swear is thinning) will be trying some of these tips! Is there anything that helps sun spots/the brown spots (I assume from sun damage- my parents didn't believe in sunscreen and I never found something comfortable for my face that I could afford for many many years) does anyone know or is it just concealer?

I started to look rough in my late 30s so you've lasted better than me I'm hoping that eventually everyone will catch up.

My sister looks a lot younger but then she's plumper and it fills out lines etc. I don't think she drinks as much as I used to either. And maybe my mental health took its toll on my physical looks.

I'm 41 and my skin looked dreadful, water really does help, I've been trying to go on a health kick lately and my number 1 on the list was drink more water and I'm really seeing the difference.