To wonder how to deal with archenemy in the workplace?

[Keyansier]

Just canvassing for general opinions and wonder whether people think this is an overreactive response or justified on my behalf. A few weeks ago a new guy started at my workplace and he is, to put it bluntly, one of the most horrid people I have ever met in my entire life. The worst thing is, I’ve been lumbered with the task of training him up so have to talk and listen to him all day. He is abrasive, obnoxious, doesn’t seem to like to listen to anyone else but yet loves the sound of his own voice, is always right and never wrong like doesn’t admit whenever he’s made a mistake, tells jokes and then laughs at his own jokes even though they’re not even funny, is abrupt, condescending and sometimes just out and out plain downright rude. I am getting to the point of thinking of making an excuse as to why I can’t train him any longer. I have started thinking of him as my archenemy. He is consistently draining.

Is there anything I could legitimately say to get him trained by someone else without it sounding like I just don’t like him that I could put forward as a plausible reason to management without it looking bad on me? I also feel a bit intimidated by him. Has anyone else dealt with a similar scenario or have any general advice on dealing with something like this?

How long is left on the training? If it's just a week or two I'd say suck it up and just ride it out for the sake of convenience, he'll soon get that attitude pulled up by whoever his eventual manager is.

If it's going to be longer than a week or two then speak to whoever the most sympathetic manager is, tell them that he has some behaviours that are making it difficult for him to properly engage with the training you're trying to provide and that you think he might be suited to a different trainer.

Hi @Iam4eels the training is for about another four to five weeks minimum, maybe longer. We are a small team and what he has been recruited for he could be trained by any one of us on the team, but out of all our schedules and where we were in them at the point when he was hired it landed on me. But the problem is I straight plain up dislike him! Tbh I don't even want him to continue to work there if I had my own way!Not sure how I could word anything to my manager without listing all his bad points and negative qualities as reasons to keep him separated from me.

Try to separate out what you don't like about him personally, from what is an issue professionally. So not liking his jokes is a personal thing (unless he is being offensive), but him not being able to listen and take on board feedback is a professional issue. I would then raise these issues with your manager.

I think you could separate your dislike of him and the things that are making him very difficult to train. You could go to your manager and say you are concerned he isn't making progress for the following reasons

• he does not respond to feedback
• he will not accept when he has made a mistake and insists that what he did was correct
• he is being rude to you (have some clear examples)

Suggest that he might respond better to someone else.

This raises the "work problems" with your manager and they can keep a closer eye on him whether they change his trainer or not. He might not make it through probation

I've been in this situation. It is very difficult. I am not suggesting you take this course, however after some time of said individual pi55ing off not only me, I eventually said "if I had some tips that could really help your career would you be interested in hearing them?", they said yes. That gave me permission to "advise them".

In that instance it worked but with hindsight, there are possible alternatives I could have used 🤣

Suggest he may benefit from rotating through the team for his training as then he can pick up the best practice from each of you?

Oh 'arch enemy'. I was puzzling what archemy was, something like alchemy!

How is he doing with the training. Do you think he will be able to do the role or is he not listening or learning?

Do you have a set standard that he has to achieve?

Does your company have a probation period?

Has anyone else had to interact with him?

Will your line manager be his line manager?

Arch enemy 😂

Is he on a probation period?

My thoughts when I read the title of this thread was “what kind of grown adult has an arch enemy?” and then I clicked on, saw who the OP was, and realised I’d answered my own question.

I think you could start by bringing a notebook and writing down every time he details his training with a “joke” or an abrasive, superior story. Underline every time you correct him and he disagrees. Make it obvious. He will ask what you’re doing. Then tell him that you have been tasked with training him, and part of that process is to provide feedback to him and also to your line manager. You are making notes to see how things progress this week to see if he is going to be a better fit or if he was just nervous.

Well I didn’t read who the OP was, but I knew as soon as I’d read this post 😂

Try crying and playing the victim. It's always worked so well for you before.

Alternatively, you could try eating some food you don't especially care for in front of him.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4745638-to-walk-away-from-my-mil-when-she-does-this
Like you describe on this thread ^

to put it bluntly, one of the most horrid people I have ever met in my entire life.

He may feel the same way about you.

And I doubt he’s the one bitching about you on the Internet so who’s the “horrid” one?

Ha me too. I came to say that it's really easy to work with your arch enemy. All you have to do is grow up. Then I realised that advice won't work here.

He is abrasive, obnoxious, doesn’t seem to like to listen to anyone else but yet loves the sound of his own voice, is always right and never wrong like doesn’t admit whenever he’s made a mistake, tells jokes and then laughs at his own jokes even though they’re not even funny, is abrupt, condescending and sometimes just out and out plain downright rude.

Do you think you're clashing because you're so alike?

Have you considered trying to find something you have in common to see if you can get on better?
Maybe play some Rhianna or share some food?

🤣🤣

He is abrasive, obnoxious, doesn’t seem to like to listen to anyone else but yet loves the sound of his own voice, is always right and never wrong like doesn’t admit whenever he’s made a mistake

Maybe he is mirroring behaviour?

Kill with kindness

OP have you tried gurning and spitting into a bin in front of this person?

Think OP might struggle with that

Well that took a turn

My suggestion would be for OP to ask the trainee how old he thinks OP is.