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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how to deal with archenemy in the workplace?

82 replies

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:12

Just canvassing for general opinions and wonder whether people think this is an overreactive response or justified on my behalf. A few weeks ago a new guy started at my workplace and he is, to put it bluntly, one of the most horrid people I have ever met in my entire life. The worst thing is, I’ve been lumbered with the task of training him up so have to talk and listen to him all day. He is abrasive, obnoxious, doesn’t seem to like to listen to anyone else but yet loves the sound of his own voice, is always right and never wrong like doesn’t admit whenever he’s made a mistake, tells jokes and then laughs at his own jokes even though they’re not even funny, is abrupt, condescending and sometimes just out and out plain downright rude. I am getting to the point of thinking of making an excuse as to why I can’t train him any longer. I have started thinking of him as my archenemy. He is consistently draining.

Is there anything I could legitimately say to get him trained by someone else without it sounding like I just don’t like him that I could put forward as a plausible reason to management without it looking bad on me? I also feel a bit intimidated by him. Has anyone else dealt with a similar scenario or have any general advice on dealing with something like this?

OP posts:
ItchyBillco · 19/02/2023 15:09

Ludo19 · 19/02/2023 14:58

This is the first time I've seen an OP getting flamed, am I missing something?

@Keyansier your new work colleague sounds a buffon. Try, if you can and steer him in the right direction. I know some characters who'd try the patience of a Saint. Hopefully you'll not have to train him up much longer.

Just a fairly notorious male poster who tends to the dramatic.

Ludo19 · 19/02/2023 15:11

ItchyBillco · 19/02/2023 15:09

Just a fairly notorious male poster who tends to the dramatic.

Show quote history

Ah thank you, that explains it 🙂

RichardHeed · 19/02/2023 15:13

Mate, any thread you post, the answer is always you. YOU are the problem. The sooner you realise that and get the help you need the better it will be for you.

Chikapu · 19/02/2023 15:16

How are you training yourself at work?

BigFeelingsMoment · 19/02/2023 15:26

JizzlordTheCat · 18/02/2023 20:03

My thoughts when I read the title of this thread was “what kind of grown adult has an arch enemy?” and then I clicked on, saw who the OP was, and realised I’d answered my own question.

😁 exactly my thought!

radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 15:33

Is this a reverse?

IDontWantToBeAPie · 19/02/2023 15:54

Dear management, I think it would be best if you found someone else to train X. He makes me feel uncomfortable at work and while I know this isn't ideal for my own work satisfaction and well-being I do not think I'm the appropriate person to train him'.

They can hardly say no?

Original poster
Keyansier · 19/02/2023 19:13

RichardHeed · 19/02/2023 15:13

Mate, any thread you post, the answer is always you. YOU are the problem. The sooner you realise that and get the help you need the better it will be for you.

Well, with all due respect to you and your point of view, @RichardHeed , I have made several threads on here but they aren't all the same, even remotely, so I'm not sure how you could reached a conclusion of it being me being the problem each time when every thread is different.

To others that have responded: No, it's not a "reverse". I do not play tiresome games like that, or name changing. And not really sure how this thread would even be written or make any sense in reverse anyway? Confused

Thanks to those with supportive and helpful replies.

OP posts:
Original poster
Keyansier · 19/02/2023 19:15

Sorry, cut off:

Thanks to those with supportive and helpful replies. I have taken most of them on board and appreciate them being posted.

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 19/02/2023 20:08

I have made several threads on here but they aren't all the same, even remotely

The thing is, they mostly all have a common theme. Which is you getting unreasonably upset over trivia and having a hissy fit

Last week you wrote you had your mouth hanging open in shock, that you were upset and devastated
Why?
Because you weren't impressed with Rihanna's performance at the superbowl.
You started a thread sobbing and shaking because you weren't id'd when you brought alcohol at a supermarket
You wanted to go NC because your boyfriend"s family looked at you funny.

There's a VERY common thread/theme here, and it's not the rest of the world.

You might have a point with all of the above, including this thread
But your hyperbolic language ("arch enemy", for example) means you've lost the arguement before you've begun.

It annoys me when other posters do this, but I'm wondering (not unkindly) if you're neuro-diverse and struggling to make sense of the world.

You're probably a nice chap, but my word, you are haaaaaaard work

Original poster
Keyansier · 19/02/2023 20:38

Rogue1001MNer · 19/02/2023 20:08

I have made several threads on here but they aren't all the same, even remotely

The thing is, they mostly all have a common theme. Which is you getting unreasonably upset over trivia and having a hissy fit

Last week you wrote you had your mouth hanging open in shock, that you were upset and devastated
Why?
Because you weren't impressed with Rihanna's performance at the superbowl.
You started a thread sobbing and shaking because you weren't id'd when you brought alcohol at a supermarket
You wanted to go NC because your boyfriend"s family looked at you funny.

There's a VERY common thread/theme here, and it's not the rest of the world.

You might have a point with all of the above, including this thread
But your hyperbolic language ("arch enemy", for example) means you've lost the arguement before you've begun.

It annoys me when other posters do this, but I'm wondering (not unkindly) if you're neuro-diverse and struggling to make sense of the world.

You're probably a nice chap, but my word, you are haaaaaaard work

Last week you wrote you had your mouth hanging open in shock, that you were upset and devastated
Why?
Because you weren't impressed with Rihanna's performance at the superbowl.

My mouth was hanging open in shock while I was watching Rihanna, and I admittedly was upset from the performance and reeling from it, but I agree that describing it as a feeling of being 'devastated' was probably slightly OTT. In my defence it was 2 o'clock in the morning, I watched live, and I was very tired at the time.

You started a thread sobbing and shaking because you weren't id'd when you brought alcohol at a supermarket

I didn't shake, nor sob Hmm And if you're going to go down the pedantic route, I think you meant 'bought', not 'brought'. I didn't 'bring' alcohol to a supermarket. Confused

You wanted to go NC because your boyfriend"s family looked at you funny.

This also did not happen.

And in addition to your comment, no I am not neuro diverse and struggling to make sense from this world (that's a shockingly offensive thing to say to someone!) And I would also say I'm a nice guy, and others who know me agree too. But it just seems on here that often people don't agree with the same sort of stuff that I do.

OP posts:
radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 20:54

Nice guys don't threaten to punch people's teeth down their throat.

Don't rewrite history.

Rogue1001MNer · 19/02/2023 21:01

Brought/bought, I'll give you (although personally I think it's twattish to bring up an auto correct)

Advance search is a useful tool....
Other posters can make their own minds up on the relative of your bf who looked at you funny
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4716435-to-only-apologise-if-i-am-apologised-to-or-aibu

If you're genuinely offended by my wondering if you're ND, then I had no intention of upsetting you, so I'm happy to apologise.
I am sorry if I upset you
(And I'll look forward to your thread about how upset you)
But I'm willing to bet I wouldn't be the only poster who reads your posts and thinks wanker or wind up merchant or something else going on??????

radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 21:03

Yeah @Rogue1001MNer that's the thread I remember. That and the Chinese at Christmas thread and the crying because he wasn't ID'd for alcohol.

Rogue1001MNer · 19/02/2023 21:07

Which he'd bought, not brought @radiatorflush

Rogue1001MNer · 19/02/2023 21:08

A surprising number of his threads seem to be deleted. I wonder why that might be 🤔

Butchyrestingface · 19/02/2023 21:11

Rogue1001MNer · 19/02/2023 21:01

Brought/bought, I'll give you (although personally I think it's twattish to bring up an auto correct)

Advance search is a useful tool....
Other posters can make their own minds up on the relative of your bf who looked at you funny
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4716435-to-only-apologise-if-i-am-apologised-to-or-aibu

If you're genuinely offended by my wondering if you're ND, then I had no intention of upsetting you, so I'm happy to apologise.
I am sorry if I upset you
(And I'll look forward to your thread about how upset you)
But I'm willing to bet I wouldn't be the only poster who reads your posts and thinks wanker or wind up merchant or something else going on??????

I just had two posts deleted on another thread where I pointed out his notoriety to him, and disagreed with his claim that he'd be perfectly suited to a career in a demanding profession associated with high stress.

Except I wasn't quite as polite as you. 😀

TigeToo · 19/02/2023 21:11

I’m going to search for OPs previous threads going on the comments here, I could do with a laugh

ConfusedNT · 19/02/2023 21:52

When you threatened someone with physical abuse you automatically get taken off the nice guy list (unless you mean the "why won't no one date me I'm a nice guy so I should automatically get sex list")

And to be honest I personally think people who pedantically correct people's spelling should be off the nice list to. It's colonialist, ableist unnecessary bullshit

Keyansier · 19/02/2023 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 22:21

What do you think is wrong with being ND @Keyansier

ConfusedNT · 19/02/2023 22:28

What do you think is wrong with being ND @Keyansier

This

Because currently the only thing that is shockingly offensive is your language around neurodiversity and the way you are are talking about this

radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 22:31

You're ableist @Keyansier

radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 22:36

You pulled @Rogue1001MNer on an autocorrect bought/brought but you can't spell arch enemy correctly @Keyansier.

Bit hypocritical there I'd say.

Stupidpeoplesuck · 19/02/2023 23:16

Tell him when he’s being rude or obnoxious. He clearly thinks he’s being funny, so call him out in a calm, semi-polite way and say that you don’t appreciate the attitude whilst trying to help.
If he’s still an arse, tell your boss and they can deal with it.