To think some Facebook group admins are power mad martyrs?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

I admin a Facebook group with some other lovely admins for women with a particular health condition. It’s all very low level work, and there is an occasional bun fight in the group it TBH us admins acknowledge that it requires very little sweating over. It’s just a Facebook group after all!

However I am a group member (not admin) in another group that started off as support for home schooling in lockdown and is now more of a generic support group around all types of education.

Because initially the group had a lot of families struggling through lockdown and facing various issues, the admins imposed a “Group members are not allowed to PM each other or exchange personal information”. I remember thinking how, though they have the best intentions WRT the safety of members, they cannot possibly impose that ridiculous rule.

however they STILL have the rule and love to remind members about it. They are posting what it seems like every single week saying something passive aggressive and angry like

“GROUP REMINDER

When you accepted the T&C’s of this group you accepted the rule that members CANNOT PM each other. We have YET AGAIN found out this rule has been broken!!!

Us admins give our free time, time away from our families, to run this group and we honestly feel exhausted trying to get members to keep up with basic rules. If you can’t follow the rules you know where the leave button is!!!”

I got kicked out today because I commented that they cannot impose a rule that disallows grown adults from messaging other people, let alone police it. And that they’d have more time if they didn’t spend so much of it chasing and dealing with silly rules.

I first got booted then got a PM from an admin saying I had “violated the laws and principles of the group” (😂) and also upset admins who work really hard to keep everyone happy and don’t appreciate their hard work being thrown back in their face. She asked for an apology.

I was feeling slightly childish and just replied with this emoji —> 😭

AIBU to think some Facebook admins are fucking nuts? They’re not managing a small country, it’s a Facebook group, and the weird power trips are utterly baffling. It’s not the first time I’ve seen something like this either and it spoils simple enjoyment of these groups.

I was once in a FB grief group and one of the members kept posting awful pictures of her grandchild who'd died (as in pictures of the child after she'd passed). I messaged the admin as I felt it was in horrible taste and massively triggering...especially in a grief group 😬

I got an utterly batshit response (all in CAPITAL LETTERS) saying this woman poster was clearly grieving and I was a 'nasty so and so' for asking for the pictures to be taken down. Apparently the 'admin committee' had met and decided I no longer deserved to be in the group...and out I was booted.

Despite the fact I'm pretty sure these pictures were against FB's policies, the 'admin committee (has! 😂) turfed me out.

So yes OP...for some it's like this weird bit of power.

They do sound nuts OP and a bit OTT

There's a 'style' (and I use that term very loosely) group on FB owned by someone who owns another group mentioned on this thread and it's awful; total dictatorial rules and a hoard of groupies fawning over the owner. Owner can be deeply unpleasant to members but goes mad if anyone speaks to her the same way.

Our local town has a fb page and the admin woman literally calls everyone a bully on there. Crazy woman.

I'm on a local group with a group of odd women admins, they are power mad and most weeks one of them flounces off with another putting out an announcement that they are having a break as it's all just too stressful

I then await the long thread from group members fawning over this admin, about how amazing she is, the group wouldn't be the same without her blah blah

She then makes a bit announcement that she's back! Thank goodness for that

I have a "no unsolicited PMs" rule. By all means post and ask someone if you can PM them but out of the blue is an absolute no.

So many scammers on FB now. I've just taken over a neglected and spam ridden group so yes I'm big bad admin at the moment. It's been haemorrhaging members due to all the dodgy posts so that needs to be stopped. If I upset a few people (and I have) then tough.

@HurryUpLighterNights that's hilarious about admin staying in bed all day because running the group is so stressful. It makes me wonder how some people manage to get through life! Although actually people like that love drama and attention and martyring themselves so they probably get a thrill from it all!

I was given a bollocking for saying "bloody" on a FB group which had a strict NO swearing rule. It was a really contentious group too which made the non swearing rule even more ridiculous.

I also hate the groups that ask you a dozen questions before they will consider letting you in. I find village groups the worst for this.

Dying at the comment up thread about people listing FB admin on their CV!! How tragic.

Seriously what has happened to people?! A mere sniff of power and people lose all sense of reality.

YANBU - I was removed from a free selling site on FB, the reason being I lived more than X miles from the town ("Items for free in X town")

Every post clearly said where I live, which coincidentally is the county town where the hospital, council offices, biggest school etc is, so many people collected on their way to or from work. We were in the process of a major declutter pending a downsize and had a lot of really good quality stuff. The only reason it came to light was a complaint that I wouldn't deliver a (free) item and the first to request it hadn't read the listing properly and didn't drive.

Ironically the main admin woman had also previously requested items from me and hadn't had an issue then 🙄

Are you god? You can’t tell people that messaging others is an ‘absolute no’. You don’t have that power or standing even if you are ‘big bad admin’ (cringe)

I had this on a Facebook page aimed at vbac so trying for a vaginal birth after a previous section. It is meant to be a support group but basically all posts from the admins were about how it's better to opt for a cesarean instead. They'd post supposed helpful posts about posting celebratory meals after your birth. When I pointed out that in the UK not all hospitals give you tea and toast afterwards and that not all women wanted a huge takeaway just after delivering a baby I was deemed unsupportive and blocked for the day. I was told that the admin didn't need to be made aware as she was from the UK anyway but she was the one who had made the post. I told the admin she was batshit and left the group.

I appreciate that having a vaginal delivery after a section might not be suitable for every mother, that it totally depends on factors for why the section was needed on the first place, that each individual pregnancy has its own risk etc but they made out that anyone wanting to hear others experiences of managing a vbac was an imbecile.

It’s a power- and ego trip.
There was a famous experiment in which they put volunteers in prison and the ones who were chosen as wardens were given a lot of freedom as to how to punish the inmates for all kinds of misdemeanours. There were much looser rules about what a warden could do as punishment than in a regular prison. All the wardens went power mad…unsurprisingly.

Did you miss the word "unsolicited"? If one member asks another member if they can message them and gets an agreement then that's fine.

We are actually trying to protect you from being scammed. If you don't like it then you are welcome to go elsewhere.. One thing FB isn't short of is groups.

I got permanently banned from the Poundland Appreciation page and I will never know my crime!

You have no control or right to even demand that of people. What is it to you if grown adults with the ability to block get an unsolicited PM? What do you think will happen (other than it’s probably filtered into their SPAM/other folder)?

I’m on a local bird watching group where I discovered yesterday that you’re not allowed to post photos of robins, starlings, sparrows etc. because they’re too common.

YANBU OP.

I left a horse group because I commented kindly that something someone had done could have been done a more comfortable way for the horse and the stupid admins muted me. I reported the group for animal abuse because that’s essentially what they promote (not shiteventers 😁!)

Some baby groups are insane. I still get a good laugh from the mods at the Kellymom Facebook page.

The malamute owners group I’m on will ban anyone that suggests that someone’s dog is not a malamute, even when it’s obvious the dog is not a malamute. And people are not even doing it maliciously. We are all dog lovers, whatever the breed. Someone will post a picture of their “malamute” that is clearly at least part-husky (the blue eyes are usually the biggest giveaway) and someone will say “beautiful dog! Looks like she could be part- husky. Love those blue eyes!” And boom! Banned.

There was a great argument in an open water swimming group near me. Some of the members got fed up with the overbearing admin lady and started up a new group. She went nuts and posted long long posts about how anyone found to be in the other group would be banned, and how much work she had put into the open water swimming group and so on. She seems to think she owns the lake the way she goes on

I was banned (and called racist !) on an expat group for suggesting that people who move to France should try learn French...

I live in an area where there are lots of little villages and every village has its own Facebook page. Historically they've been used to flag up local issues but also to advertise local businesses that serve the local community..... think dog walking, cleaners, personal trainers, dance classes.
The admin for one village page has some how become admin for ALL village pages and runs them like a dictatorship. He has a real bee in his bonnet about business posting in the groups so never approves posts from certain businesses and if you ask for an explanation he threatens to go to the police accusing people of harassment!

A friend of mine commented on a post asking why he never approved her business posts despite posting within the rules. He kicked her out of the group alongside anyone else who liked her comment telling us we'd be allowed back in when we'd had a long hard think about our behaviour 😂😂

It's a shame for local businesses as these pages have 1000's of members and can be a great way to generate custom.

It was the Stanford prison experiment
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment

Milgram is also another famous experiment about obedience to authority which does have a few parallels (and is fascinating in its own right)
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment

Reddit is just as bad

I've been banned from a legal group which had a rule about not posting anything unless it was legal related. My crime? Telling someone their issue could be more quickly, easily and cheaply resolved by a course of action that didn't involve shirty legal letters and threats of court action.

I was also banned from a bisexual subreddit when, underneath a post where someone was being incredibly entitled and complaining that someone had refused to sleep with them, I told them that anyone can refuse to sleep with anyone else for any reason or none whatsoever. I was banned for biphobia. I am bisexual.

I feel embarrassed on behalf of anyone who puts 'running a Facebook group' on their CV