To think some Facebook group admins are power mad martyrs?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

I admin a Facebook group with some other lovely admins for women with a particular health condition. It’s all very low level work, and there is an occasional bun fight in the group it TBH us admins acknowledge that it requires very little sweating over. It’s just a Facebook group after all!

However I am a group member (not admin) in another group that started off as support for home schooling in lockdown and is now more of a generic support group around all types of education.

Because initially the group had a lot of families struggling through lockdown and facing various issues, the admins imposed a “Group members are not allowed to PM each other or exchange personal information”. I remember thinking how, though they have the best intentions WRT the safety of members, they cannot possibly impose that ridiculous rule.

however they STILL have the rule and love to remind members about it. They are posting what it seems like every single week saying something passive aggressive and angry like

“GROUP REMINDER

When you accepted the T&C’s of this group you accepted the rule that members CANNOT PM each other. We have YET AGAIN found out this rule has been broken!!!

Us admins give our free time, time away from our families, to run this group and we honestly feel exhausted trying to get members to keep up with basic rules. If you can’t follow the rules you know where the leave button is!!!”

I got kicked out today because I commented that they cannot impose a rule that disallows grown adults from messaging other people, let alone police it. And that they’d have more time if they didn’t spend so much of it chasing and dealing with silly rules.

I first got booted then got a PM from an admin saying I had “violated the laws and principles of the group” (😂) and also upset admins who work really hard to keep everyone happy and don’t appreciate their hard work being thrown back in their face. She asked for an apology.

I was feeling slightly childish and just replied with this emoji —> 😭

AIBU to think some Facebook admins are fucking nuts? They’re not managing a small country, it’s a Facebook group, and the weird power trips are utterly baffling. It’s not the first time I’ve seen something like this either and it spoils simple enjoyment of these groups.

Yes! I've been on a couple of groups like this, I've often thought the same, its like the power goes to their head, I just leave, can't be doing with it.

I'm also creator/admin on a FB group, if people want to argue then I leave them to it, they are adults, id only step in and remove someone, or delete comments if something really awful/sexist/racist was said, I honestly don't have the time to parent fully grown adults I don't know, I have actual children to do that with.

Yanbu 😂

I got kicked out of a loca community group when I pointed out that a post was linked to anti vax conspiracy theories. Tbh now I know the admin was a mad anti vaxxer I'd rather not be in it. But pretending it's anything buy the admins personal whim is just wrong!

Hard works?!?! 🤣

@Stellaris22 Harassment?!?! The definition of harassment is a repeated pattern of unwanted contact. Not one pm. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

No way!!! That's hilarious.

We have that rule about PM's

It's because spammers join and often just PM people.
Also we get people joining specifically to offer the exact advise/methodology we do NOT recommend.
Occasionally we get the scammers who are looking to prey on women joining, helps to weed those out too.

By having that rule, legit group users are aware they can come and tell us if this is happening and we can ban a particular user.

You've just added on the "threatening to kill you" part for dramatic effect AND because you know that threats to kill are a crime all on their own.
Literally NOBODY mentioned multiple message nor any kind of threatening behaviour. Calm. Down.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh bless ya

That's insane. Do you really think you have the right to tell grown adults what to do outside of the group?!?!?! Also, spammers are not even going to remember your billions of rules, let alone respect them!

I agree with this.

How do you expect to police that? And so what if someone spams another group member. They can block them. Not your problem.

there is a dog training group like this.
ridiculous.
i still stay though!

I got booted from one of those local Families in Need groups. The admin are seriously crazy, they’re always posting ‘don’t PM x,y,z admin today they’re exhausted and in bed with the stress of running this page’. They continually ask for money from members on there and can’t justify what it’s for nor do they tell people where it’s being spent. They block you if you mention it. Eg they were asking for food for a ‘young mum’ (everything asked for is for a young mum). I posted that there was a local food pantry that would help and suggested spending some of the £400 raised from a raffle they ran that was to purchase food. They blocked me then sent a ranting PM saying how dare I question where money is spent then blocked me before I could respond 😂. They’re the talk of the village!

I wonder if it's the group I got banned from for advertising a free activity for kids - a post that was well within the rules

Yes, as experience, as if it’s people-management 😂

We lived in a cliquey village for eight years. I joined the local fb group just to see people moaning about how I parked outside the house : blocking the road, or too much on the pavement, or my car was old and embarrassing. Plus we were ‘just renting’ so didn’t fit in. I was so happy to move away.

Has anyone seen the posts that ask for new admins and then proceed to give a more intensive interview process than you get for FTSE 100 director roles?

I actually don't have an issue with this rule, I admin a sales group with this rule and its in place to stop sellers getting inundated with PM's, they pick one person from the post itself to have further discussion with. No one seems to have an issue with this and members report people who PM them uninvited for us to remove. It makes the group very easy to manage and tbh a nicer place.

In terms of a discussion group I think its a good idea because lets face it, the groups that don't have this rule end up with all the MLM huns using it as a free address book to hit people up. I assume admin would only find out if someone told them about it, so its only people doing it unsolicited that are being kicked out.

I think you're too invested in Facebook admin roles for someone who likes to mock them.

I've been blocked from a few groups 😂 yeah I do find many are jobsworths who power trip on their little jobs

Sorry but YABU - the rule is presumably there for the protection of all group members, as there a lot of weirdos and fake profiles around. The parents are presumably posting about their children. Its easy for vulnerable people to be taken in by someone else posing as a parent. If you want to PM someone the admins aren't going to know, but no need to rub their faces in it. They are just trying to keep group members and their kids safe from online predators.

Definitely not unreasonable! And I love that you posted that emoji!

In my local town there was a for sale page and I used to post on there. Not time a post got deleted and I asked the admin why. They said breaking the rules. I asked which rule as I knew they had form for this. He said I was lucky I was still in the group and that I was always breaking the rules. I asked what tule again and got booted. Then there was a group created titled things for sale in X without Rodney 🤣

There are several free groups in my area, I was a member of one and the admin came on to say that "If you are in THAT group I suggest you leave, or you will be banned and blocked from here."

What notched it up the crazy scale was that no-one was actually told what THAT group was. The admins of the two groups then kept changing the names so they were both the same meaning people had no idea which group they were in and they would argue over who owned the name. It turned out the two main admins were related and had had a big falling out and this was the manifestation.

I have laughed SO much at this

I used to be member of a group that was harder to join than the fucking masons.

You had to be nominated by other members to join. Then about once every 6 months the admins would trawl through the list of recommendations and decide who to let in.

On a weekly basis the admins would post a rant about how EXHAUSTING it was to be constantly be pmed asking when they were going to let new people in and they were on the verge of shutting the group down because it was SO STRESSFUL. Why they had to make such a drama of letting people in or not, I do not know.

Then one of the founding admins had a spectacular flounce the day after an admissions round because not one person has given her a personal thank you for letting them in.

I hear she's admin of a home Ed group now...

😂😂loving these stories.

Also what’s with the desperation to be thanked. As long as it’s well-admined with lots of admins and a sensible approach to managing the group, No Facebook group should take more than a few minutes a day to admin.