To think some Facebook group admins are power mad martyrs?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

I admin a Facebook group with some other lovely admins for women with a particular health condition. It’s all very low level work, and there is an occasional bun fight in the group it TBH us admins acknowledge that it requires very little sweating over. It’s just a Facebook group after all!

However I am a group member (not admin) in another group that started off as support for home schooling in lockdown and is now more of a generic support group around all types of education.

Because initially the group had a lot of families struggling through lockdown and facing various issues, the admins imposed a “Group members are not allowed to PM each other or exchange personal information”. I remember thinking how, though they have the best intentions WRT the safety of members, they cannot possibly impose that ridiculous rule.

however they STILL have the rule and love to remind members about it. They are posting what it seems like every single week saying something passive aggressive and angry like

“GROUP REMINDER

When you accepted the T&C’s of this group you accepted the rule that members CANNOT PM each other. We have YET AGAIN found out this rule has been broken!!!

Us admins give our free time, time away from our families, to run this group and we honestly feel exhausted trying to get members to keep up with basic rules. If you can’t follow the rules you know where the leave button is!!!”

I got kicked out today because I commented that they cannot impose a rule that disallows grown adults from messaging other people, let alone police it. And that they’d have more time if they didn’t spend so much of it chasing and dealing with silly rules.

I first got booted then got a PM from an admin saying I had “violated the laws and principles of the group” (😂) and also upset admins who work really hard to keep everyone happy and don’t appreciate their hard work being thrown back in their face. She asked for an apology.

I was feeling slightly childish and just replied with this emoji —> 😭

AIBU to think some Facebook admins are fucking nuts? They’re not managing a small country, it’s a Facebook group, and the weird power trips are utterly baffling. It’s not the first time I’ve seen something like this either and it spoils simple enjoyment of these groups.

Some Facebook mods/admin are completely mental. I found a “left book” group about baby names where you had to agree ACAB to join.

Another one about dog photos where I was banned after someone else called a dog’s coat “blindingly white” and was banned for apparently being ablelist. I commented saying the description isn’t a slur against people with sight impairments and was also banned after being called an ablelist bigot and told that I’m trash.

Have noticed in some of these groups that are heavy with Americans in their 20s, everyone seems to be claiming to be autistic, trans, mentally unwell, and then when they argue with each other, it turns into a dick measuring competition over who is more oppressed and therefore right. They must be exhausted.

I actually put I was a Facebook admin on my CV after a long break from work (I had 4 kids back to back) as I just wanted to fill in the gap. I managed to make it sounds quite impressive and I got the job which was probably way out of my league. It turned out well for me in the end as still in the field now but worked my way right up. My interviewer at the time (who is now a good friend) said that he was impressed that I had great organisational skills to admin a group of 20,000 people and the project needed someone with that skill so I got the job!

I also put other wanky things on their like volunteering for the NCT and being a breastfeeding peer supporter... I just wanted to look like I had done something whilst having a massive employment gap. I know child raising is a job all on its own, but I wanted to look like I had some soft skills I could bring to the table.

Good grief!

They’re actually making a massive difference though and are not wanky at all.

I am a manager and I’d would snigger at being a Facebook admin but I always lean towards people who have done (proper) volunteering (which Facebook admining is not). It shows good character, hard work, kindness and decent values and goes a long way in my book.

*When I’m recruiting I mean

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl I know right?!? I wouldn't do it now, but I have a good employment history now so I don't need to. I was clutching at straws really, but it paid off!

Luckily for me my old manager ate it up!

I was kicked out of and blocked from a cooking group. I know I’ve been blocked because i can’t see the group when I search for it (but my husband can if he searches for it). And all because I said I was disappointed with some of the recipes. The group is a “fans of …” group and the chef in question brought out a new recipe book last year, which was eagerly awaited by all group members. I bought a copy from Amazon, so couldn’t look at everything before I bought it. When I received it I found it somewhat underwhelming with many recipes just repeats and slight modifications from a previous book. I commented as such in the group and I was removed and blocked faster than the speed of light.

I am in just 4 groups for this reason. One group countryside capers the admin are brilliant, totally brutal with people who think they are smart arsed. Two are health condition related and lovely and one is a dog breed related, I tend not to actively post on there or comment as it can get heated 😜

would those of you moaning ever volunteer to do it then?
if you did would you like to be criticised just wondering?

Its a thankless task.

I was in a group where one of the admin signed off with big boss lady.

I left

I once got kicked off a ‘[seaside town] Then & Now’ FB group because I posted a lovely photo I’d taken of the beach, and the admin messaged me furious that ‘it wasn’t nostalgic enough’. Baffling.

Yes. Everything you've all said. I've been banned from an Italy travel group for sharing a link to a blog post I wrote about our Sicily trip with someone who asked for it. I am not a professional blogger and benefit nothing from sharing tips.

I also had to beg to rejoin another group who also banned me once upon a time. The admins are so militant they literally stalked me off Facebook to prove I'd done something wrong (basically I'd asked for some tips on something and had then shared some of the publicly available but great advice elsewhere). Trouble is it's a really useful group for me to be a member of. I dare not even mention what the group is here because they'll read this and ban me again. I had to BEG to rejoin and now my posts have to be personally approved. Just mine. The admins are the classic martyr type who everyone is supposed to praise endlessly for their tireless work.

Although the group is one in which people ask questions and others give extremely helpful advice there's one insane admin who will answer a question and immediately close the question to comments because she believes only her answer matters. Dare to question this and you will be banned. It drives me nuts. But I really benefit from the wisdom of some of the members so I don't want to leave.

They also I won't tolerate DMs and say it's a Facebook rule which will get the group banned. I mean seriously why would Facebook create the ability to DM and then delete groups for using it. And god forbid you ask even the most mild medically related question, or you dare to have an opinion that challenges anything, yup - instant ban. AAAAGHHHH

I do do it.

I don’t expect thanks

Nor do I create unnecessary work.

Besides its a social media group, not a UN peace project.

I wonder if these types of groups ban DMs because they know they are so ridiculous that people would use them to set up a new, not ridiculous group!

I got thrown out of that mad skincare freaks cult for saying that the 'seven skins' method was total bollocks

I got kicked off a group once that was set up for people from my home country living in the UK to help each other with advice. The admin made a long and very complaining comment to someone, I've asked her in a reply what happened to her as she didn't use to be this bitter before (I've been a member for a few years).
That was the end of me.

There's also a raw feeding group for cat owners where I think you're not allowed to even mention dry food, although sometime people ask questions on how to wean their cat off the 'death kibble' or something similar.

Omg this is so true. I’m currently banned from a particular page whilst the admin wait and “see how they feel” about whether to let me back in. I’m tempted to tell them to poke it but I’m not saving them the discomfort of an awkward conversation over something that’s frankly bollocks.

This is very outing but fuck it.

The most batshit group I was ever part of was one a friend added me to was what I THOUGHT was a breastfeeding support group. It was called ‘Lactivists’.

It was actually all about shaming FF, posting screenshots of FF babies and feeling sorry for them and commenting on how ill they looked and generally being creepy weirdos who thought breastfeeding your 4yo twins at a wedding in a strapless gown so the whole actual tits were out was acceptable and breaking the stigma 😂

it was also very much a transactivist group somehow (ironic given it was about female body parts).

I stuck around because it was like watching a car crash - and then got booted because I posted on MN that I was in a group that was pro-trans and had mentioned a very specific and poor analogy. I didn’t mention the group name at all just the analogy.

Anyway, they messaged me to say they KNEW it was me who posted on MN and banned me! They’d actually trawled through my posting history, and because I mentioned a particular holiday on a thread they looked through ALL Members profiles and saw one of me in that location at that time. It’s like they are on standby watching the trans threads.

They then posted my real name on that thread. MNHQ deleted the post.

It fucking freaked me out the length some absolute weirdos will go to.

The admins were all self professed ‘crunchy’ (read: have feral unwashed children) SAHMs and clearly needed a better hobby

Caroline Hirons?

That group is Jim Jones level of crazy devotion. Whatever she says they take as absolute gospel. She's not a dermatologist!

Yep Hirons! They're crazy

Bet their kids also wear wellies with no socks....

That's quite alarming behaviour probably triggered by years of poor sleep from co-sleeping with your EBF little darlings!

(Yes I am judging this time!)

I'm autistic and some groups do have the vibe of people competing for oppression points.

I stayed and watched one implode as people slowly turned on each other. The admins of the group were even worse than the general crazy admin as they also requested donations for their emotional labour i.e. running the group and others would request donations to their PayPal for the emotional labour of answering a post. The people asking for money would up the oppression stakes as high as possible by describing themselves as homeless, trans, disabled, autistic POC needing money for life saving surgery to make them sound as deserving as possible.

I do remember one poster who was upset when someone asked her to stop her kids from climbing up the slide at the park. Apparently she didn’t like to stifle their creativity or hinder their exploration 🤣🤣