To think some Facebook group admins are power mad martyrs?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

I admin a Facebook group with some other lovely admins for women with a particular health condition. It’s all very low level work, and there is an occasional bun fight in the group it TBH us admins acknowledge that it requires very little sweating over. It’s just a Facebook group after all!

However I am a group member (not admin) in another group that started off as support for home schooling in lockdown and is now more of a generic support group around all types of education.

Because initially the group had a lot of families struggling through lockdown and facing various issues, the admins imposed a “Group members are not allowed to PM each other or exchange personal information”. I remember thinking how, though they have the best intentions WRT the safety of members, they cannot possibly impose that ridiculous rule.

however they STILL have the rule and love to remind members about it. They are posting what it seems like every single week saying something passive aggressive and angry like

“GROUP REMINDER

When you accepted the T&C’s of this group you accepted the rule that members CANNOT PM each other. We have YET AGAIN found out this rule has been broken!!!

Us admins give our free time, time away from our families, to run this group and we honestly feel exhausted trying to get members to keep up with basic rules. If you can’t follow the rules you know where the leave button is!!!”

I got kicked out today because I commented that they cannot impose a rule that disallows grown adults from messaging other people, let alone police it. And that they’d have more time if they didn’t spend so much of it chasing and dealing with silly rules.

I first got booted then got a PM from an admin saying I had “violated the laws and principles of the group” (😂) and also upset admins who work really hard to keep everyone happy and don’t appreciate their hard work being thrown back in their face. She asked for an apology.

I was feeling slightly childish and just replied with this emoji —> 😭

AIBU to think some Facebook admins are fucking nuts? They’re not managing a small country, it’s a Facebook group, and the weird power trips are utterly baffling. It’s not the first time I’ve seen something like this either and it spoils simple enjoyment of these groups.

A lot of people wouldn't appreciate being PMd by strangers. It's a form of harassment, people could be trying to sell you something or being off group to send unpleasant or bullying messages if you disagree on the page.

Yes, you could just ignore it, but members should be able to read and follow basic rules.

🤣🤣🤣this made me laugh. Isn't that exactly the definition of the people on here?

When I've encountered this type of rule, it's usually to ensure group conversations don't get taken offline and privatized. The intent is so all members benefit from information, not have it shut away in PMs. Which can be bloody annoying if you're lurking on a thread.

I am a member of a free giveaway group where you can add unwanted gifts, old baby stuff etc and give away to anyone interested.

Got banned once for tagging a family member in a post for a highchair as I knew money was tight and she was on the lookout for one. It was just to draw her attention to the post I wasnt demanding the giver do anything.

You also aren't allowed to pick a "winner" within the hour even if you have 50 comments showing interest in your item. Picking a winner after 55 mins results in a ban.

They also do the whole "our admins give their sweat blood and tears for this page"

Well it would be a nice way to support the wider community by taking literal seconds to help out local businesses. Adveetising a post someone has sent takes seconds, he’s not working for Saatchi and Saatchi FFS.

Are any of you on the Totes Merry Peri group? The admin are so rude and power hungry, yet their fan girls trip over themselves to cheer them on, it's hysterical! All hell breaks lose If someone dares to point out that perhaps admin are a little over zealous. They have the rule over no PMs too.

I don’t think harassment means what you think it means.

Sending one message is not harassment. Ignore, or block if it upsets you so much.

they probably do, would you do it?

No but I’m joining.

The fact I don’t know what Totes Merry Peri is is neither here nor there 🤣

would you do it? I still dont get why he should do it? Advertising costs money?
As said bet he never gets any thanks either.

@girlfriend44 dunno. Its Facebook. If I was crying about people giving away an old dressing table in the "wrong" way I'd probably find a new hobby

There was probably originally an element of trying to stop people messaging about "I have a fantastic opportunity....." , though a whole ban seems as bit too much.

If someone is sending you unwarranted messages via PM then it can be seen as harassment. It's how people could bully you away from the public page if they disagree with you.

There have been people on a group I'm on who have been incredibly upset by bullying PMs in the past.

One of the Aldi ones is hilarious. The admins ban you for saying Lidl is cheaper.

Advertising costs money because it usually costs the platform money - eg a newspaper needs printing and funding hence the charge for advertising, and it is also a business. This bloke isn’t paying for a Facebook page and presumably it’s not his job.

I do plenty of volunteering for things that actually matter. I am a Brownie Guide leader and I am also deputy Chair of my life’s school PTA - which gets plenty of sneering on MN about PTAs but because of our efforts the kids get loads of opportunities, visits and resources. I don’t do any of it for the thanks, and I don’t have a 5 year old tantrum if people don’t appreciate me. I do it so my children can benefit from something.

Harassment is persistent. And anyone can adjust their FB settings so strangers can’t PM them. It’s not like they’re banging down at your door

🤣🤣

I really want to go on and say how much I hate Aldi and it reminds me of an eastern Bloc 80’s supermarket. Do you think I’d be banned 😂

I was briefly on a group that was for selling toys from a tv show my child really liked. I think the lady running it had her heart in the right place but it seemed to be her whole life. She once posted an incredibly lengthy run down of her day, showing how she spent all her time doing stuff on or for the group, hunting down rouge sellers on eBay and challenging them “for you guys”, buying bundles of toys and cleaning them for ages but then selling them for v little. So it didn’t seem to be a money spinner for her, just a little world she had created, but it had a v odd feel to it.

Ok. So if someone privately sends you messages full of swearing and intimidating language, threatening to kill you that's not harassment?

These things do happen sadly and it's why admin insist on these rules.

I totally agree, it's crazy!

I am a very experienced moderator/admin of many Facebook groups and way back to Usenet and email groups.

The Facebook groups I currently admin or mod on were generally formed out of being on other groups and realising 'OMG, these admins are power mad! Let's make a decent group!'

The exception is the abuse survivor group I admin. We are very strict on rules, although every rule has a purpose, and that purpose is to protect the members.

We do not allow appeals for telephone contact on the group, and every time anyone requests that someone PM them, we add a warning about how not everyone on the internet is who they seem and that predators are known to use survivor groups to hunt for victims.

But at the end of the day, these are adults - their choice.

I'd leave any group that had crazy rules - and if it was a topic I loved, I'd once again create my own group with a group of like-minded members that I had contacted by PM!

This seems to be the real reason behind that rule...

😂😂😂😂

If someone is going to send a message like that, they really aren't going to be deterred by the rules. And a message like that is always wrong, even if it's in a group that allows PMs.

No.

According to UK law

Stalking and harassment is when someone repeatedly behaves in a way that makes you feel scared, distressed or threatened.

It’s not pleasant but it’s easy to ignore and literally block out. You don’t HAVE to reply and you certainly don’t have to reply with your personal information. And if you do that’s your prerogative, nothing to do with a random Facebook group and not their place to try and police.

And I can’t imagine it happens frequently enough for it to warrant it a serious problem that it has to be a policed rule.

I’m relatively new to FB and only joined because my son has a genetic disorder and I wanted to connect with other families. So I’ve only ever been in one group so far and there’s never any problems (probably because we’re all speaking about the health of our kids).

Anyways the comments have killed me😂 why are some of these admins so serious

It's all part of the madness of Facebook. It brings out the worst in people. Left a couple years ago and haven't looked back.