Husband's Hot Yoga Obsession

[HeebieJeebies7]

My husband has been doing hot yoga for the last 6 years before we got married, since the pandemic which was round about the time we got married, he could not go to his hot yoga studio, so the topic never came up. Six months ago he started hot yoga again and I thought I ll give it a go , at first he was not comfortable with me going as I think because I am over weight he felt a bit embarrassed and to be fair I did too as when I went to the studio all the women were in great shape , doing all the positions easily .

I was the only one who stuck out like a sore thumb as I could not do most of it , was dying of the steam and due to feeling ashamed of my weight was fully covered unlike everyone ekse there. I eventually gave up as I have depression and thought this is only making me uncomfortable, he still wanted to go and one day due to my insecurities we had a really bad argument about him going to the hot yoga sessions. The argument was really bad and we didn't speak to each other for a few days after which he apologised and I left the matter at that, although I was hurt cause he said alot of nasty stuff to me and I swore at him a lot ( something I have never done to anyone as an adult ) which resulted in him getting so angry that he pushed me. I was shocked that he pushed me , he has apologised since and so far there has been no other incident. He need anger management classes and we are in the process of sorting that out.

Now he wants to go again and I am not happy about it , I have told him my concerns and he says " fine I won't go if you don't want me to go " and goes into a grumpy mood. I am divided , what should I say to him to resolve this?
Am I being unreasonable by taking my insecurities out on him or am I being reasonable ?

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time out to post , I have taken your suggestions on board and will improve myself. My husband like you all said can do whatever he enjoys doing , I ll not stop him because I need to focus on my own well being,as all my energies are spent taking over all the responsibilities of the household as well as helping him out with his work ......this has been very helpful , even the negative comments ..... makes you think with more clarity ..... hope all of you have a lovely weekend , this is my last message on this post ... thank you all again 🙏

You need to go read some Buddha quotes and listen to mantras to clear your mind

OP hope your OK today honestly i find it really sad 97% don't understand how it feels to have low self esteem that makes you feel crap about yourself that stuff like this would bother you. I'm exactly the same and it really hurts for people to say diet cut out food etc like that is the miracle cure maybe you should find a man that finds you attractive enough that he doesn't need to go out his way to perve on what he really prefer ask him if hes attracted to your body type if not tell him to gt the F*k gone.

It sounds like there is plenty wrong with your husband, but the hot yoga has nothing to do with it.

You are unreasonable: for thinking it's ok to stop a partner doing a harmless hobby just because you don’t like it and it makes you feel self-conscious about your body.

Oh and for drip-feeding about what your husband is actually like, and the number of other hobbies he has!

He is being unreasonable: for being ashamed of you coming to yoga (if that was actually his reason), for being unpleasant to you, for physically assaulting you, for expecting you to support him with his issues but not supporting you with yours.

I assume OP that you think he's not really there for the hot yoga as much as he is for the hot women wearing very little because it is so hot. It's horrible that he was 'not comfortable' with you going with him, whatever the reason. It wouldn't surprise me at all though if the reason was that he didn't want the hot women to know he was married.
He sounds a bit of a slimeball to me OP, but MN is full of cool wives so don't expect too many people to see your side.

WTF. Loads of men go to hot yoga, it’s a great class, great for flexibility, losing weight, improving mood, improving skin, etc. Genuinely mind blowing the amount of women who assume he is going to be a perv. He probably was keen for the op to not go because he foresaw the jealous rage it would ignite in her and the massive resulting row that would follow due to her own insecurities. Tbh it is a demanding class, I doubt the husband has much time for gawping slack jawed at the women in the class. Also if he has a phone he can see actually naked women instantly every moment of every day. Bonkers to call him a slime ball, totally bonkers.

Yes exactly. I attend HY daily. I’m yet to meet a perv or a couple who got together after meeting at the studio. Most people just want to get out straight after the class as it’s so hot and humid. Yes, there are increasingly more men attending, which is a great thing. We all focus on our own practice inside the studio. I have to admit crushing on a very lovely guy 15 years my junior, but, of course, he doesn’t know.