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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't have a middle name

235 replies

NotMyCircusNotMyProblem · 17/02/2023 18:54

Firstly, this is a bit light hearted and I've not lost any sleep over this, nor will I ever but, my parents didn't give me a middle name.

I have elder siblings who both have middle names.

As a child, I did question my mum as to why, but she just brushed it off saying, your name was lovely enough and you didn't need a middle name.

Im now in my 50s and I've never given it much thought until recently - why didn't I get a middle name? Were my parents that fed up with kids they couldn't be bothered to think of one? Did they not think I would feel the odd one out because I don't have one? I can't ask my parents now, they've both passed away.

Maybe middle names in the 60s were not such a big thing then... although all my peers and friends,,, everyone I know seem to have middle names.

So, do you have a middle name, how old are you and AIBU in feeling unloved at not having a middle name?

OP posts:
Unfairestofthemall · 17/02/2023 19:24

My sister and I both have one. My kids have 2 each as family names were important to both of us. My parents and ex husband both have middle names aswell. I always assumed my kids would to be honest 🤷‍♀️ I get why people don't though

Probablymagrat · 17/02/2023 19:24

I was born in the 60s and do have a middle name. I rather not have it.

My family have a habit of shortening it and joining it on to my first name. Its supposed to be a term of endearment, but it sounds like a stripper name.

OP, if it bothers you not having one, why not just pick a nice one for yourself and start using it.

Barleycat · 17/02/2023 19:25

I don't either, it's why I gave my children two each 😁

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/02/2023 19:25

I have two. Most of my family do.

Can you give yourself one? You probably can. That might be nice.

Spacemountain · 17/02/2023 19:27

I don't have a middle name and when people ask and I say I don't have one, I then have to fend off their outlandish guesses on what my non existent middle name is as they are convinced I am lying as I am embarrassed by what it is!

Loulou377 · 17/02/2023 19:27

Todaynotalways · 17/02/2023 18:56

Maybe it's simply that by the time it came to their third child they didn't feel the pressure from friends and family to provide a three-part-name... they just did what they wanted rather than what society expected.

This. You were and are loved! Maybe you're more special than your siblings because you're different!

HufflepuffRavenclaw · 17/02/2023 19:27

My sibling and I were both born in the 70s, no middle names. Mum doesn't have one either and she was born in the 40s.

My kids all have 2 middle names.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 17/02/2023 19:27

DH doesn't have one and was named after his paternal grandfather, so has the exact same old man name. All the others in his family have middle names. He felt like his parents didn't love him enough to think up an original name, and didn't love him enough to give him a middle name.

Velvetbee · 17/02/2023 19:28

My mum didn’t have one and was so put out as a teenager she made one up and just added it to forms. It was so established they tried to put it on her death certificate but had to take it off as it wasn’t ‘official’.
However she didn’t bother to give me, her only child, one.

pepperaunt · 17/02/2023 19:28

My DSis is the only one of us with no middle name and she’s still
annoyed by it!
Also, DM wanted my middle name (unique) as my first name but DDad refused so I’ve got quite a common name

Carouselfish · 17/02/2023 19:28

My mum in her 60s doesnt. Her three younger brothers have two each. She was hurt about it growing up and invented many amusing ones for herself.
I was certain I was fair with my two and gave them both too many. Form filling will be equally tedious for them both.

RedBonnet · 17/02/2023 19:28

I don't have a middle name but I always wanted one. I hate my first name, it's a horrible old fashioned name and I've only met 2 others with the same name. So when I got married I gave myself a middle name on my marriage certificate. That way I didn't need deed poll - just got a clerk of court to sign it off. Now I use my middle name and dropped my first name. Perfect 👍

NancyPickford · 17/02/2023 19:28

I don't have one and I'm in my 60s. I have three older siblings (now all dead) and only one of them had a middle name. It's never occurred to me to question it.

pigsinoodies · 17/02/2023 19:29

Maybe middle names in the 60s were not such a big thing then

Sorry but I was born in the 60s and I've got 3 middle names! My siblings (also 60s) have an average of 1.6 middle names.

I'm now wondering why I've got more than any of my siblings.🤔

Kpo58 · 17/02/2023 19:29

Middle names make admin work much easier. It's a real pain to have 4 different Christine Williams on your system, especially when you don't have different middle names to quickly identify the correct one.

heatdeath · 17/02/2023 19:30

I don’t either (mid 70s), although both my siblings do - I’m the eldest. There’s no particular reason apparently - they liked my first name so much there was no need for an extra one. I was never bothered by it (& I agree with them wrt my excellent first name) 😁

incidentally none of my brother’s kids (three of them) have middle names although mine all do.

Thedogscollar · 17/02/2023 19:30

I was born in 62. I have two middle names after each of my grans, so very plain and popular names of their time. I've never used them for anything so imo not really something to get upset about.

YourUserNameMustBeAtLeast3Characters · 17/02/2023 19:31

My Aunty was the third daughter and the only one without a middle name. Her parents said her name was beautiful on its own.

She’s in her 70s and still very bitter about the lack of middle name.

echt · 17/02/2023 19:31

I don't have a middle name and only one of my siblings does.
All the other siblings decided to take their confirmation names as middle names, which niggled my mum no end.

RedRiverShore3 · 17/02/2023 19:32

I have one but DH doesn't, we didn't give DS one as they are a bit surplus and just another thing to remember for forms that need filling in, if you forget to put it down for certain things it causes problems

Lindsaylosing · 17/02/2023 19:33

I was born in the 80s I don't have a middle name but I always wanted one.

Original poster
NotMyCircusNotMyProblem · 17/02/2023 19:34

GoodVibesHere · 17/02/2023 19:22

OP are your siblings middle names named after a relative?

I have a young family member with no middle name although the older sibling does.

I wonder whether in some cases there might be disagreements over which relative's name to use for a middle name, or people don't like the relative names (too old fashioned perhaps - e.g. Ezmerelda, Myrtle!) and to avoid family discussion/arguements they just go for no middle name to save hassle. I mean you'd think it would make sense to give a totally non-relative name but maybe some people come under pressure or find it akward to admit ('actually DH, I really can't stand MIL and don't want to use her name for our child' ) Grin

My brother's middle name was my father's Christian name. My sister's middle name was just a random name that she hates anyway. Maybe I got off lightly Smile

OP posts:
pigsinoodies · 17/02/2023 19:35

Lindsaylosing · 17/02/2023 19:33

I was born in the 80s I don't have a middle name but I always wanted one.

You can have 'Lulu'.

You're welcome 🤣

RemoteControlDoobry · 17/02/2023 19:35

It’s usually going to be Jane or Louise anyway so who cares?

My DS’s don’t have middle names because as someone else said, it was difficult enough to come up with one!

FuzzyPuffling · 17/02/2023 19:35

I've got two. My older sister has but one. :)