To think partner is trying to steal my thunder?

[ellie09]

I have had a new partner for around 3 months so still relatively new.

I have always been open about not particularly liking my job, and in the new year, I decided to take some time out and go looking for a new job. Very quickly I got a couple of interviews and I am waiting to hear back about a last stage interview and continuing to apply.

When we first met, it seemed to me that he enjoyed his job and never spoke negatively about it. He even walked around wearing a company branded hat. However, as soon as I mentioned I was discontent, he starts.

Anything negative I say, his apparently is much worse. He decided he was going to apply for new jobs. So he starts going wild. Applying for hundreds of jobs, he had 10+ interviews in one week and constantly updated me on it.

The field I am in has far fewer posts to apply for, and his field is more common. It seemed anytime I was updating him on an interview or a prospect, he brushed it off and continued telling me about his own.

We were both waiting to hear back about last stage interviews - he got his job offered, however I am still in the lurch over mine. He says we need to get out the champers on Saturday to celebrate his news.

AIBU to start thinking its all just orchestrated very conveniently and I am being made to feel absolutely useless as I'm still actively trying while someone who seemingly has no issues with his job just casually applies and gets a new job?

I know we are different fields etc so there's no competitiveness with jobs etc and my field is more niche. I just feel that when my news comes, hopefully, that it won't feel as special?

Classic narcissist - everything is about him. He will never support you in life’s crises. Dump him, and be the star of your own life, not a bit-part player in your partner’s.

I don't think it matters whether he is trying to steal your thunder or not. I do hate that phrase though. What thunder do you think applying for a new job gets a person? I think what matters is that you don't like him. He is irritating you. You've only been going out with him for a few weeks. I would just stop seeing him.

My ex did this, and eventually my relationship became abusive, it was a tactic to make me feel less valuable and to demand all my attention.

Whether what he did was right or wrong or whether he is actively trying to make you feel bad is almost not the point, the main point is that this is not the right relationship for you: it is making you feel anxious and unhappy and you have different personalities and communications style.

Rather than waste further time trying to analyse his behaviour and motivations, just end it and move on to someone who will be a better fit.