Page 6 | Apparently I think I am 'King Sh*t'

Shgytfgtf111 · 2023-02-16T11:34:47+00:00

I got a promotion last year and now manage a team of team leaders. During an argument before my partner said I had changed since getting it and think I am king shit. I genuinely dont think I have changed, I dont think I am better than other people but now I am worried whether thats what other people think too. I pressed him for what he meant but he just repeated the same thing so now I am actually concerned that other people might think that too. Maybe I have changed? I dont know. I really enjoy my job.

pinkyredrose · 17/02/2023 09:14

I'm struggling to see any good points in staying with him

WallaceinAnderland · 17/02/2023 10:31

He grew up in a household where his mother did literally everything around the house so thats what he seems to expect. Of course she never worked.

OP this attitude stinks and you are bad as him in perpetuating it. Neither of you value the person who keeps the home clean and tidy, the people fed, the pets looked after, the children raised, the laundry done, the shopping completed, the social diary organised...

Unless you change your attitude your situation will never change and guaranteed you will be back here in ten years moaning about the same thing. You are not a passenger in your life. Stop blaming him for your misery. Change yourself and everything else will change too. Good luck.

Thesharkradar · 17/02/2023 11:53

Keroppi · 16/02/2023 22:56

I would pay for a cleaner and get your laundry outsourced
Don't be afraid to get rid of him - do you really want to grow old with a miserable man with a penchant for victimhood! He's already trying to knock you down for your success, what about if you're feeling low or have health problems/bereavements, will he take advantage of your vulnerability or support you? I think it's time to blow up at him and mean it if he makes one more demeaning comment about your job or attitude!

I wouldn't be paying to get his cleaning or his laundry done!
I'd cleaned my part of the house do my laundry and my cooking and let him do his. He doesn't behave like a partner so why should he get any of the benefits of being in a partnership 🤷

delayedtrauma · 17/02/2023 12:20

You won't change him op. He's a misogynist and angry that you're more successful than him. Why do you want to be his mum? Dump him.

Thesharkradar · 17/02/2023 12:41

Problem is the majority of men have grown up with the implicit assumption that they are entitled to have dominion over women, they do not let go of these expectations easily, especially if they're not even fully conscious of them.
These assumptions and expectations will shift but it takes time, no one cedes power willingly, we should not be surprised that men are unwilling to give up what they've got, I think it's a basic 'animal instinct' to cling onto what you've got and try to reach for more.
Women have this instinct too, we know we are worth more and we will reach out and get it.

Bingoflings · 17/02/2023 13:02

Thesharkradar · 17/02/2023 12:41

Problem is the majority of men have grown up with the implicit assumption that they are entitled to have dominion over women, they do not let go of these expectations easily, especially if they're not even fully conscious of them.
These assumptions and expectations will shift but it takes time, no one cedes power willingly, we should not be surprised that men are unwilling to give up what they've got, I think it's a basic 'animal instinct' to cling onto what you've got and try to reach for more.
Women have this instinct too, we know we are worth more and we will reach out and get it.

I agree. My MIL did all house tasks and believes it should be no other way. I am a nightmare for her son (rightly so). I will continue to be a complete pain in the arse until he realises corners of rooms need hoovering and things need lifting and moving out the way to clean. I've had him say, my boxers are a bit on the low side and I've replied oh well that's a bloody shame isn't it?

Despite this, he would never say you can't further yourself. I'd go out and do it anyway but thankfully he's supportive. I'm loving the king shit reg plate and I'd even have a house name sign made for next to the front door but I'm a bit weird like that. Well-done OP on your success.

ThisNameIsNotAvailable · 17/02/2023 13:52

WallaceinAnderland · 17/02/2023 10:31

He grew up in a household where his mother did literally everything around the house so thats what he seems to expect. Of course she never worked.

OP this attitude stinks and you are bad as him in perpetuating it. Neither of you value the person who keeps the home clean and tidy, the people fed, the pets looked after, the children raised, the laundry done, the shopping completed, the social diary organised...

Unless you change your attitude your situation will never change and guaranteed you will be back here in ten years moaning about the same thing. You are not a passenger in your life. Stop blaming him for your misery. Change yourself and everything else will change too. Good luck.

Is there more to this? In this post there’s been no indication that no one values the person doing this work. Literally all they’ve said is that mum was able to do all this because she didn’t work. Maybe you meant to quote a different post?

WallaceinAnderland · 17/02/2023 14:44

Literally all they’ve said is that mum was able to do all this because she didn’t work.

You're doing it as well. Can you really not see it? 🙄

WallaceinAnderland · 17/02/2023 14:45

Sorry, that was meant to be 😂

tartlets · 17/02/2023 15:16

He sounds jealous. You don't sound like you're oblivious to others. The king shit routine tends to be those who think so highly of themselves that they don't reflect on their relationships.

I've experienced it and it is genuinely quite cringey and draining. An ex decided he was so important at work that he'd tell me all about it daily, he was obsessed with the whole corporate bullshit thing and used to put down my small partnership company because we didn't buy into corporate bullshit and worked entirely differently. I'm not sure if he thought I was in awe of him or was just unaware of the lack of interest I had in his 'up and to the right' bollocks 🤷🏼‍♀️

He also had this weird 'I must have bigger and better' thing going on, I bought a new car for myself so he bought a bigger car (mine was new because I'm tight sensible with money, his was 13 years old because he flashed the cash at every opportunity) it really was weird, he even expected me to go and admire his car and tell him how much better than mine it was... I'm afraid I had to disappoint him when I exclaimed 'Christ it smells of wet dog' when he opened the door 😂