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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Apparently I think I am 'King Sh*t'

135 replies

Shgytfgtf111 · 16/02/2023 11:34

I got a promotion last year and now manage a team of team leaders. During an argument before my partner said I had changed since getting it and think I am king shit. I genuinely dont think I have changed, I dont think I am better than other people but now I am worried whether thats what other people think too.

I pressed him for what he meant but he just repeated the same thing so now I am actually concerned that other people might think that too. Maybe I have changed? I dont know. I really enjoy my job.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 16/02/2023 12:35

Well...unless you are in a same sex relationship surely you would be Queen Shit, actually Empress Shit has a better ring to it. That alone shows how ignorant he is 😂

He is showing signs he feels emasculated and trying to put you back in your box for daring to be "better" than him. Are you asking him to do little jobs about the house such as stripping the bed or put the dishwasher on? 😱

Push back against him underminingyou, but be aware this could be the beginning of the end (of your relationship).

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 16/02/2023 12:35

You have wounded his fragile male ego.
Poor love!

Mumoftwoinprimary · 16/02/2023 12:35

So you earn most of the money and do all the housework. What does he do? You can get some lovely vases these days if you want something nice looking in your house.

CrescentMoons · 16/02/2023 12:36

A lot of women suffer from imposter syndrome and my ex - I earnt more at least twice as much and I was well respected at work and he wasn’t. Get rid of him.

beAsensible1 · 16/02/2023 12:36

And so what if you are!? why shouldn't you be proud of your own hardwork, enough men think they're king shit.

Iateallthewotsits · 16/02/2023 12:37

My ex husband used to say he would never be with a woman who earned more than him or was as successful as him.

There was never a chance that I would be, and after we split up he used to joke that he had chosen an uneducated woman like me who was only qualified to clean toilets for a reason.

I think the reason was he had a small penis.

SlightlyJaded · 16/02/2023 12:38

OP - I am not going to cite recent arseholes in the news specifically, but this is EXACTLY the kind of insecure, misogynistic attitude that can descend into proper bitterness and jealousy and make for a very unhappy relationship.

A loving partner would be celebrating your success, applauding your newly improved confidence and absolutely picking up slack around the house.

So you do 100% of the house stuff, earn more than him and he thinks trying to erode your confidence so you don't get 'too big for your boots' is the way to go?

He is a prick. Sorry. I rarely say this on MN, but I would leave. You have no kids, no ties and are financially independent. He does not love you the right way.

Boohisspiss · 16/02/2023 12:42

Get “King Shit” coasters, tea towels, badges and number plate.

IncompleteSenten · 16/02/2023 12:43

If he can't back up his claim with examples then he should stfu.

user1471538283 · 16/02/2023 12:46

He is jealous! And it sounds like he will get more and more jealous because you are doing and will continue to do so well.

So what he needs to do is to buck up because you have wings!

AliceTheeCamel · 16/02/2023 12:46

Boohisspiss · 16/02/2023 12:42

Get “King Shit” coasters, tea towels, badges and number plate.

That's brilliant 😂 you should so do this, OP

Maybe a King Shit hoodie or a hat even

Subtlety1985 · 16/02/2023 12:47

Logburnerperils · 16/02/2023 12:26

How can you all confidently state that it is jealousy etc etc with 1 side of the story? It isn't beyond the realms of possibility. You might be turning a king shit into a massive super king diarrhoea shit

I tend to agree with the first part of this.

I’m not sure it’s all jealousy related, given what you’ve said.

Honestly, I’ve seen this so many times, in my partner, my friends and even myself. I think the confidence a new job brings can be amazing but can also change how you interact with everyone around you, not just those you work with. It’s your nearest and dearest who will notice it far quicker than your able to.

SerafinasGoose · 16/02/2023 12:47

Interesting that he's chosen the masculine descriptive KING shit to describe your new-found professional gravitas and confidence.

That is very telling. About him, that is, not you.

SchoolTripDrama · 16/02/2023 12:49

My Mum uses the term "Lord Muck" Grin She says it in a lighthearted manner though. Usually referencing the Dog. I'm guessing your DH wasn't saying this in a lighthearted way?

TrishM80 · 16/02/2023 12:50

Shgytfgtf111 · 16/02/2023 12:19

Maybe you need to consider whether or not that's changed how you interact with him at home. Are you just naturally more assertive?

Yes, thinking about it now, I believe so

Maybe he feels you're "bossing" him about like you do with the people you manage in work, and he resents it?

Sunriseinwonderland · 16/02/2023 12:51

People can be very jealous and weird. I earned more and was more successful than either of my husbands and they hated me for it.

Redsquirrel5 · 16/02/2023 12:56

I would make sure your "King Shit" money goes into your 'King Shit" account for a start. Then you can move some to a household account if that is what you do. I don't. I pay for certain things when they need paying for within reason as I earned less. Food, kids stuff, all kids classes and hobbies, DD Uni rent, clothes, garden etc.

Love the idea of making a King Shit crown. I would fetch it out at bedtime for top effect! You could make a King Shit fridge magnet that says KING SHIT CLEANS THIS FRIDGE!
I love the T Shirt idea too.You could wear it to his families BBQ in the summer under a top then peel it off to reveal it in all it's glory.Someone on ETSY will make you one.

Carry on being a confident person.

TaraMock · 16/02/2023 12:59

Iateallthewotsits · 16/02/2023 12:37

My ex husband used to say he would never be with a woman who earned more than him or was as successful as him.

There was never a chance that I would be, and after we split up he used to joke that he had chosen an uneducated woman like me who was only qualified to clean toilets for a reason.

I think the reason was he had a small penis.

I think the reason was he had a small penis
I hope you told him that @Iateallthewotsits !

RightOnTheEdge · 16/02/2023 12:59

I think feeling weary and wary both apply to putting up with men like this!
He is just jealous of your success OP and trying to knock you down a peg.
Don't let him!

And why are you doing everything at home?

Thesharkradar · 16/02/2023 13:00

I think it's time for you to appoint him queen of the domestic duties

Hankunamatata · 16/02/2023 13:02

We don't know your relationship. He may be putting you down, he may not like your new found comfidence.

I do remeber my dad would come in a talk to me and mum like we were his minions at times after a day at work at times then mum often gently reminded him we were his family and not his employees.

Chias · 16/02/2023 13:03

It could be that he is jealous or it could be that you are being rather self important. Without knowing you, I couldn’t say which. Most of my friends have very successful careers and some of them did treat everyone a bit like their lowly PA to begin with.

TwilightSkies · 16/02/2023 13:03

Your confidence has increased and you are less likely to put up with bullshit.
How that will play out long term in your relationship will remain to be seen……

RaininSummer · 16/02/2023 13:05

Sounds like men jealous of your success and trying to bring you down. Don't let him.

RaininSummer · 16/02/2023 13:05

A man

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