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Original poster

Apparently I think I am 'King Sh*t'

135 replies

Shgytfgtf111 · 16/02/2023 11:34

I got a promotion last year and now manage a team of team leaders. During an argument before my partner said I had changed since getting it and think I am king shit. I genuinely dont think I have changed, I dont think I am better than other people but now I am worried whether thats what other people think too.

I pressed him for what he meant but he just repeated the same thing so now I am actually concerned that other people might think that too. Maybe I have changed? I dont know. I really enjoy my job.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shgytfgtf111 · 16/02/2023 12:01

Thanks for all your replies everyone, they've made me laugh as well as were thought provoking. The ironic part is that I started the job in Jan of last year but its only apparently an issue now. I am having to dismiss a couple of people and I wonder if its to do with that?

Who knows? But either way I am glad the issue isnt mine and I will keep an eye on other further digs too.

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 16/02/2023 12:04

@Shgytfgtf111 make sure the crown has king shit written on it!!

comeundone · 16/02/2023 12:04

Making no assumptions here, think very carefully before starting a family with someone who would hold thoughts like this about you in their heads. If your work power is a threat to their self esteem, then maternity leave is a very risky place for a partner.

whattodo1975 · 16/02/2023 12:05

Has your new role taken you away from family life and he has been left dealing with all the shit at home whilst you are at work ? He maybe resentful of that.

Axahooxa · 16/02/2023 12:06

@Thesharkradar
Is it possible that he’s jealous and doesn’t like your self-confidence?
It's not 'possible' it's 100% certain!

😆my first response was actually:
He’s a dickhead. Jealous and doesn’t like your self-confidence

I thought I’d be a bit more balanced but I’m loving all the replies here.

OP- Your confidence is something to be celebrated. Do keep an eye on whether he might actually be a dickhead. There are so many of them around.

Mrssophie · 16/02/2023 12:08

Absolutely does not like your new success - what a turd you're doing well and enjoying your job and he's holding it against you!

I remember when I started Uni in my mid 20's with a lot of nature student and our lectures always told us how many times they see divorces and relationship breakups. Their theory was that the men couldn't stand seeing the women achieve something that was just for them and something to boost confidence and be proud of. Not saying all men are like that of course - mine wasn't but some men have fragile egos.

Thesharkradar · 16/02/2023 12:10

I didn't marry with the assumption that I could change the husband I married with the assumption that the husband would treat me fairly if I treated him fairly!
What I didn't realise is that his underlying assumption was that I was there to serve him!

Original poster
Shgytfgtf111 · 16/02/2023 12:10

No there wont be any children brought into the mix, we are in our 40s and neither of us want them.

I am still doing 100% of everything at home the way it always has been too (different issue) so its not like he has had to pick up any of the 'slack'.

I still work normal FT hours, nothing has changed in that respect.

I will celebrate my confidence and not be ashamed of it. I will be aware if I am getting too big for my boots though, Thank you for all your advice (especially about crowns and t shirts!😂)

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 16/02/2023 12:12

Well done you. Give him a poo emoji cushion for his birthday.

illtakeit · 16/02/2023 12:12

SpeckledlyHen · 16/02/2023 11:57

I think you mean wary.

Show quote history

I'm glad you know what I meant. So will OP.

pointythings · 16/02/2023 12:13

I am still doing 100% of everything at home the way it always has been too (different issue) so its not like he has had to pick up any of the 'slack'.

Why do you put up with that? Does his cock vibrate?

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 16/02/2023 12:13

Sounds like someone’s feeling emasculated!

RollerGirl7 · 16/02/2023 12:16

Yes, he sounds like he's just jealous. Particularly he's not backing it up with any information about examples of you being arrogant.

Inside I do see a change with people when they become managers and become senior managers in that they get given more responsibility and influence over other people and that does have an effect on who they are as a person. So you will change how you interact with people at work. Maybe you need to consider whether or not that's changed how you interact with him at home. Are you just naturally more assertive? Do you take the lead more often than you used to? Has the power balance in the relationship shifted? It's totally fine if it has, as long as you're not acting like a dictator, but may just be something to consider

sarahc336 · 16/02/2023 12:16

Oh dear are you by any chance now on more money that he is or more successful 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 classic little woman needs to stay at home syndrome. Well done you in your promotion!!

TheFretfulPorpentine · 16/02/2023 12:16

Congratulations on your promotion. Now is the time to upgrade to a better partner.

corcaithecat · 16/02/2023 12:18

TheFretfulPorpentine · 16/02/2023 12:16

Congratulations on your promotion. Now is the time to upgrade to a better partner.

This.

Bluetrews25 · 16/02/2023 12:19

Unless he works with you, how the hell does he know what your colleagues think of you? Has he got a crystal ball?
I'm delighted to hear your confidence has increased.
A manager is there to manage, not be everyone's best friend (and therefore be manipulated easily), so it's ok to have a certain level of confidence and expectation that things will get done.
I suspect you will be clearing out a very large load of rubbish soon, OP.

Original poster
Shgytfgtf111 · 16/02/2023 12:19

Maybe you need to consider whether or not that's changed how you interact with him at home. Are you just naturally more assertive?

Yes, thinking about it now, I believe so

OP posts:
WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 16/02/2023 12:20

ACynicalDad · 16/02/2023 12:12

Well done you. Give him a poo emoji cushion for his birthday.

A poo emoji wearing a crown of course GrinGrinGrin love it!!

Thesharkradar · 16/02/2023 12:20

From your initial post it sounds as if he's not bright enough or doesn't have the self awareness to realise what's driving his behaviour, he only feels comfortable if he holds most of the power in the relationship and he is now feeling very threatened because you outrank and out earn him.
I have been in the situation, he just got more and more moody and difficult making me more and more stressed, the more I earned the less paid work he did and the more creative he became in avoiding doing any of the domestic work. Eventually he threatened to leave me if didn't give up my job. Needless to say I thought that was an excellent idea, he now lives alone and has to work very hard to pay the bills.
I also live alone and I'm financially comfortable with plenty of leisure time to indulge myself 😇
I would keep a very close eye on his behaviour, he might start to try and sabotage you you soon.

JamSandle · 16/02/2023 12:20

Sounds very threatened by your success.

pinkyredrose · 16/02/2023 12:21

I am still doing 100% of everything at home the way it always has been too (different issue) so its not like he has had to pick up any of the 'slack'.

Why do you do this?

AliceTheeCamel · 16/02/2023 12:25

JamSandle · 16/02/2023 12:20

Sounds very threatened by your success.

Exactly this

Logburnerperils · 16/02/2023 12:26

How can you all confidently state that it is jealousy etc etc with 1 side of the story? It isn't beyond the realms of possibility. You might be turning a king shit into a massive super king diarrhoea shit

Libre2 · 16/02/2023 12:28

illtakeit · 16/02/2023 12:12

I'm glad you know what I meant. So will OP.

Show quote history

In fairness, weary also works well in this context. It is exhausting.