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AIBU?

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Original poster

What did she want people to do?

576 replies

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:35

Recently went to spectate at a sporting event and we got on the tram to get there. It was rammed, we expected it to be rammed. It's a busy event.

The tram was standing room only, and it was busy Ie sardines.

This pregnant woman was standing in the middle of the aisle she wouldn't move further down so there was a huge gap behind her. She didn't look that pregnant tbh, she kept shouting. im pregnant, I need space, you all need to back off, I'm pregnant I need a seat im pregnant I can't be touched
The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat. The guard came down and told her she needed to move down into the gap or get off. She decided to get off and then asked if the trams were going to be busy all day?

She genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby because she enforced a halo of 'im pregnant and no one can be near me'

Surely if you're that precious about being pregnant you'd get a taxi?

OP posts:
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user1465390476 · 16/02/2023 08:07

@MenoEek You wouldn’t carry the five year old. You’d tell them to grab your leg. Children need to learn these skills.

MelaniesFlowers · 16/02/2023 08:07

Teateaandmoretea · 16/02/2023 08:01

If I was concerned for my children's safety, I'd pick them up

you would honestly stand on a bus holding a child? 😲

On a different thread kids should be backwards facing in the car till 7 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes, in other news children should be rear facing until 7 because that is safest for them.

That’s not something to mock, that’s just taking children's safety seriously.

Brefugee · 16/02/2023 08:08

This is weird, you have no idea at all what she was feeling, she made it abundantly clear that she wasnt coping with standing- none of us know why. She very possibly couldnt move down, there are all sorts of problems she might have been suffering from, we know nothing about.

it's difficult though isn't it? If you use public transport you need to be aware of those around you, if you can't move into a space to stop it being totally packed in one area with space in another, you should really get off. I agree that someone should have offered her a seat but people are awful these days.

MenoEek · 16/02/2023 08:08

user1465390476 · 16/02/2023 08:07

@MenoEek You wouldn’t carry the five year old. You’d tell them to grab your leg. Children need to learn these skills.

I'm responding to the poster who said she would try to carry a child.

Honestly think that a lot of people responding to this thread don't travel on the tube and have no idea what it is like.

Teateaandmoretea · 16/02/2023 08:09

@MelaniesFlowers but holding a parents leg while being thrown around on a bus is find so they don’t inconvenience adults? Utterly ridiculous ‘mocking’ of child safety on this thread.

Grumpybutfunny · 16/02/2023 08:09

JenniferBarkley · 16/02/2023 06:53

A bit of jostling on a packed train won't do the baby any harm, so presumably she had some reason to feel particularly anxious - previous lots, rhesus negative, good old fashioned anxiety. Presumably she didn't know the rugby was on and hadn't realised the train would be busy. The parents really should've made the kids share seats so she could sit down.

Rhesus neg isn't going to harm that baby tho it's a risk to future pregnancies. If I was sat down I would have offered her my seat but wouldn't have asked DS to stand up, he's not tall enough not to easily reach any of the higher grab points and more likely to get squashed if the driver has to break. The baby is protected in a bubble of water

Justalittlebitduckling · 16/02/2023 08:09

One of the adults in one of the families you mention should have offered her a seat.

Andthatstheend · 16/02/2023 08:10

someone should’ve offered her a seat. I’ve fainted several times on standing room only trains when pregnant so I can relate to her feeling like she needed some space albeit sounds like that wasn’t practical.

user1465390476 · 16/02/2023 08:11

@MenoEek as a family we’ve always used public transport. My dc are very confident using trains and the tube. I think they could find their way from one part of the country to the other by the age of 10. Their df is disabled so they understand the etiquette of standing for others too. I can’t recall them ever falling over because they understood you have to hold on tight.

FordCreek · 16/02/2023 08:11

Your attitude is rotten OP. Your angst should be about how no-one on that carriage gave any thought or care towards a pregnant woman who needed a seat more. Selfish entitled fuckers going to a sporting match could’ve got a taxi hey.

and this is just bullshit from you:

She genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby because she enforced a halo of 'im pregnant and no one can be near me'

Indecisivebynature · 16/02/2023 08:12

Oh I had this on a packed London bus, morning commute. The woman kept saying ‘Stand back I’m pregnant’. I found it extremely grating. I continued with my London commute whilst pregnant up until 8 months, wore my little Baby on Board batch and no one cared. People have paid a lot of money for their season ticket, the daily commute is a drag, on my route is a made scramble to grab a seat and rare to get one, the majority of people don’t even notice you.

Swiftswatch · 16/02/2023 08:13

Someone really should have offered her a seat.
Theres no point complaining it’s entitled to expect one, there are literally signs everywhere on public transport asking to offer a seat to pregnant women along with those who need it more.

You seem intent on deciding that this woman was only travelling for fun and either shouldn’t travel or should get a taxi. She was probably going to work and needs to deal with the ballache of public transport twice a day.

And the ‘she didn’t even look that pregnant’ 🙄
Must only come from someone who hasn’t been pregnant. The points when I most needed the seat (feeling sick, dizzy, faint) were when I had a smaller bump.

Plus maybe she needed to stand in the middle to hold onto the handle? I don’t know why someone else couldn’t have just gone past into the gap.

Calphurnia88 · 16/02/2023 08:13

What did she want people to do?

Offer her a seat, I imagine.

I felt significantly worse earlier in the pregnancy than later. I avoided public transport where possible for this reason, but some journeys were unavoidable. One such journey involved an unexpected bus replacement service, which was a 5 minute walk from the train station. Despite having a very obvious bump, other passengers rushed passed me to get onto the bus. A few of us were left waiting on the roadside for a member of staff to let us know when the next bus would be, as it was apparent there were more far more passengers than seats. A member of staff eventually appeared and said there were 2 seats left on the bus - naively I assumed that the group would let myself and another passenger, who had an obvious physical disability, take the seats, but nope, a young couple said 'we'll take them' and rushed on without a second thought.

Before the next bus arrived (due an hour later) I ensured that the member of staff was aware that myself and the disabled passenger needed a seat on this bus. They obliged, but not without a lot of insistance.

My faith in humanity definitely took a hit that day.

Mississippi6 · 16/02/2023 08:15

Honestly, people like you OP made my life hell when I was pregnant, I still had to go into work every day. I couldn’t afford to take a cab to work. Pregnant women are vulnerable mentally and physically!

Swiftswatch · 16/02/2023 08:16

@Brefugee if you can't move into a space to stop it being totally packed in one area with space in another, you should really get off.

So because I’m not tall enough to hold onto the ceiling hand rails at the end of the carriage and need hold onto the vertical pole in the middle I should get off???

SmurfingGoodTime · 16/02/2023 08:17

I get not wanting to give up your seat on sardine trains - I've been on plenty leaving football - BUT she was obviously not feeling up to it and someone should offered their seat.

MaverickGooseGoose · 16/02/2023 08:18

When I was pregnant commuting in the tube I just asked for a seat when I needed it, twins, my pelvis pretty much fell apart, I always had several people offer.

On the tube people are generally so engrossed they don't offer but ask and someone always jumps up.

The kids shouldn't have taken priority in the tram although the whole thing sounds a bit bonkers.

Cosyblankets · 16/02/2023 08:19

To answer your title question she wanted someone to offer her a seat.
I don't get what you don't get.
If the only people sitting were old people and children (in every single seat of the whole carriage) then the parent of a child should have offered the child's seat.
Do you get it now?

MelaniesFlowers · 16/02/2023 08:19

Teateaandmoretea · 16/02/2023 08:09

@MelaniesFlowers but holding a parents leg while being thrown around on a bus is find so they don’t inconvenience adults? Utterly ridiculous ‘mocking’ of child safety on this thread.

I didn’t address that first part in your message because I wouldn’t (and couldn’t) hold a five year old on a bus.

There was no need to mock ERF, particularly considering so many parents don’t realise the importance of doing it. Your second point was not at all related to your first and completely unnecessary.

Brefugee · 16/02/2023 08:19

So because I’m not tall enough to hold onto the ceiling hand rails at the end of the carriage and need hold onto the vertical pole in the middle I should get off???

so then let people past you into the space? it's not rocket science.

Angelil · 16/02/2023 08:20

LookingOldTheseDays · 16/02/2023 07:34

But she clearly said she needed a seat, so she obviously did ask.

But everyone sat down apparently just stared at her thinking "Not my problem mate"

Show quote history

I meant asking individually. Walk up to someone and ask them directly - it’s not that hard. Shouting out to a whole carriage of people indiscriminately is never going to work.

user1465390476 · 16/02/2023 08:21

Who is being thrown around on a bus? At worst there’s sometimes a bit of heavy braking. Some of you are ridiculous.

sqirrelfriends · 16/02/2023 08:22

Very surprised no one offered her a seat. It seems dramatic but you don’t know what kind of day she had. I felt dreadful in early pregnancy and later on I went mental at a woman in a supermarket because she hit my bump with her basket. I blame the hormones.

RosesAndHellebores · 16/02/2023 08:23

I'm more shocked about the poor parenting, whereby none of the dc were told to get up and offer their seats.

Cazziebo · 16/02/2023 08:24

If it was Edinburgh and heading to Murrayfield then it's quite likely it was overwhelming. There would be no taxis to be had (I've tried - quicker to walk from Rose St to the stadium!).

All the supporters are in the pub until just before the game and then spill out onto the streets and head west. Traffic is disrupted, trams are rammed and the supporters take up a lot of the road. It's an absolutely brilliant atmosphere if you're part of it, probably quite intimidating if it's not. If I had young children with me I'd probably be so focused on them I'd be oblivious to what's going on around me.