Random man in restaurant

[Theblacksheepandme]

I'm in a restaurant tonight with my husband and daughter. The restaurant ended up being quite pretentious and in hindsight we should have left and gone somewhere else. The manager made us feel unwelcome and was very unfriendly.

We went for a wine tasting with our food. Wine was excellent but the food was just ok.

There was a couple of obnoxious men in the restaurant which were quite loud. One was with his wife and spoke loudly on his knowledge of wine. In all fairness she was just as bad. He was even on his mobile for 10 minutes while in the restaurant.

We noticed that the manager that also attended to our table was fawning over them. We weren't asked if we wanted dessert or tea or coffee.

The bill came to €160 and when we were paying, the manager asked if everything was ok. I replied that the food wasn't great and that I didn't think they were as good as they obviously think they are. I told him service was terrible and while other people were asked if they would like dessert, tea/coffee, that we were not.

We got up to leave and the man that knows all about wine got up approached me and told me that I didn't need to be so loud in addressing the manager. I asked my husband and daughter if I was loud and they said not at all. Their table was behind ours. He didn't think once to go over to the man at the other side of the restaurant to tell him to stop being loud. He didn't even recognise that we could hear every conversation he was having.

AIBU that this random man had no right to tell me how to behave. I am so angry and upset by this and feel so stupid that I allowed him to ruin my night. He also walked away immediately once he had his say in order to not allow me to reply. I ended up calling after him to mind his own business and called him a pretentious idiot (not my finest moment). His wife looked at me when I was leaving and then looked at my husband and said good luck with that.

And I have, once or twice, defended service staff when customers are being dicks unnecessarily, so I am on the fence about the other customer too.

Go nuts on Google reviews and trip advisor. Zero stars- would not recommend.

I’ve seen a couple of comments like this on the thread. What has been the outcome of this? Was it done in the genuine expectation of changing their minds?

We were leaving when bloke approached me and he legged it to the loo immediately. Didn't even allow me a chance to reply. My husband was no way near me when random man approached. Were we to wait for him to come out, zI think that would be a bit crazy? The wife spoke to my husband and said good look with that. I was ahead of my husband on the way out and didn't hear. My husband and daughter did as they were behind me. He replied to her.

My husband had no intention of speaking to her until she spoke to him. Was he not supposed to stand up for me at that stage? My daughter said she was quite nasty in her delivery. My husband wouldn't dream of approaching a woman and giving advice. However when she decided to pass a rude comment about me to him on the way out then certainly he did have my back. My husband always has my back as I do with him.

I don't think any parties have covered themselves in glory here.

The loud diners do sound obnoxious. But your delivery of your observations sounds quite rude as well.

"The bill came to €160 and when we were paying, the manager asked if everything was ok. I replied that the food wasn't great and that I didn't think they were as good as they obviously think they are. I told him service was terrible and while other people were asked if they would like dessert, tea/coffee, that we were not."

The food wasnt great - not very constructive, or detailed
They obviously think they are good - sounds a bit nasty to be honest. Again not constructive
The service was terrible as you weren't asked if you wanted dessert or coffee (leaving aside why youd want dessert somewhere the food wasnt great). Did you ask when you asked for the bill? Was this the only complaint? It sounds like they made one error and you've massively over reacted.

I know it's hard to get context through writing but it sounds like you were being rude to the staff and the twatty man may have been standing up for them (though going about it in a shit way)

For the people commenting on my rudeness to the manager. I agree that my delivery wasn't my finest and I should have said something more constructive than what I said.

The manager was rude, unfriendly and dismissive from the start. In hindsight we should have left before we even started to eat. We booked 2 weeks in advance and as it's a busy city I was afraid that we would spend the evening looking for somewhere else.

The other couple arrived after us and it was then I noticed a difference even in his greeting. I can definitely assure you all that the couple were tourists on a city break like us. We heard them saying this to him. Not friends with the Manager.

I was definitely not jealous but I do think that all customers should be treated equally. I never want special treatment as that would also make me feel uncomfortable.

All tables were close enough to each other. Sometimes it's hard not to hear what other tables are saying but we all know the ones where people talk so loud that they want others to hear. Sure they heard me complain but I wasn't loud and certainly would never raise my voice. There was another couple near us and we could hear them but they weren't speaking in a manner that they wanted all to hear.

We went to a restaurant last night and from the moment we arrived it was wonderful. My daughter commented on what a difference it was in relation to how lovely the staff were. This is also a fine dining restaurant but without the pretensiosness.

All three of us love our food and fine dining restaurants do not need to be like the other one.

I worked in hospitality in my younger days and would never have treated customers the way this manager treated us. I also dislike when staff are treated badly by customers. I have dumped friends from my observation on how they treat staff.

My husband wouldn't dream of approaching a woman and giving advice.

Nah, he'll just berate her for the behaviour of her husband because he's too cowardly to say "excuse me" or follow a man a few steps towards the toilet. Much easier for a prince of a man to stand up to a woman.

My husband was no way near me when random man approached
I'm baffled by your description of how you left the restaurant. Nowhere near each other, out of each other's earshot
Why would you stand up from the table and walk towards the door in shifts?

What part of "Wife passed comment to my husband on way out" don't you get? Is my husband not allowed to reply to her? My daughter was upset on how she addressed me as "That". I am glad my daughter witnessed her Dad having her Mums back. In relation to my husband following random man to toilet. I think that would be crazy. Is that really what you would want your partner to do?

How did your husband know what random man had said to you, when he was nowhere near you at the time?

We didn't do it in shifts. Our table was near enough to exit. I was in front and to be honest just wanted out of there at that stage so walked faster than husband and daughter. Husband and daughter weren't too far after me, don't know if I said nowhere near each other. I was definitely out of earshot and my daughter said that wife made sure I was out of earshot when she made comment to my husband.

What part of "Why did your prince of a husband berate a woman for her husband's behaviour?" don't you get?

I wouldn't be at all pleased that my daughter saw how her coward of a father won't stand up to a man but will take out his anger on a woman.

don't know if I said nowhere near each other

I just quoted what you said My husband was no way near me when random man approached
How did your dh know what random man had said?

He didn't know, I told my husband what he said to me. My husband was too far to hear him. He also leaned in towards my ear to say what he had to say.

The food wasnt great - not very constructive, or detailed

OP was a customer in a restaurant - not a manager giving an annual appraisal. What did you want her to do, set SMART goals and put a weekly 1 to 1 in the calendar?

You’re referring to it as “fine dining” but it was £160 for three people including wine which to be honest is more high end gastro pub prices especially in a busy city.

where On earth do you usually eat?

Two starters, 3 main courses and wine. I think €160 is a lot for that and I live in quite an expensive country to live in.

😂

Also the wine was for two of us not three.

I'd like to have been a fly on the wall in that restaurant.

I'm not understanding the timeline either. Random man who was at the table next to you comes over to your table and tells you off for being rude and argumentative to the manager, your husband was nowhere near you at this point as you were leaving. Random man immediately runs to the toilet and you're now ahead of your husband leaving out the door whilst he is back at your table and the wife says good luck with that?

Two starters, 3 main courses and wine. I think €160 is a lot for that and I live in quite an expensive country to live in.

I can't imagine where this would be considered an expensive bill in a fine dining restaurant! Which country is this?

Hungary, expensive for Hungary.

Op

you sound a bit of a wally

You both sound pretty awful. And if he could hear the conversation then, maybe, just maybe, you were too loud!