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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That rugby player…in a scrum with a woman down an alleyway… wtf!

881 replies

GoingOnce · 15/02/2023 19:53

AIBU to be shocked someone would want to do this/have it done to them? I mean, the main offense is that he’s cheated on his poor wife, but also - is this a thing??? 🤢

OP posts:
TicketBoo23 · 17/02/2023 09:45

TheCatWithGreenEyes · 17/02/2023 09:34

Am I the only one who is more disgusted by the fact she had her hands on the floor? People piss down there urgh and after a night round the town I can't imagine she tasted that fresh either

She was cheating on her partner with another woman's husband and you're more didhisted by her touching the potentially dirty ground??

TheCatWithGreenEyes · 17/02/2023 09:49

@TicketBoo23 potentially dirty ground!! Guess your not from Ponte
I'd rather stick my tongue up her sweaty arse than touch those streets

Littleloveydovey · 17/02/2023 09:53

I don’t think it’s relevant if rimming is normal or not. What is relevant is it is not remotely normal to be drunkenly rimming in a public place, particularly with your mates spouse. That’s why the public outcry.

ImAvingOops · 17/02/2023 09:58

Re the children being bullied because of what their parents did, they aren't because in 'normal' circumstances the children would never have known.
The children are being bullied because this was filmed and put on the internet (without consent of the participants) and because sick fuckers keep sending the video the their kids. The person who put that video out there and the platforms keeping it there and the evil bastards who send this to his kids, they are the ones responsible for what the children are experiencing now.

KattyKattyKatz · 17/02/2023 10:30

ImAvingOops · 17/02/2023 09:58

Re the children being bullied because of what their parents did, they aren't because in 'normal' circumstances the children would never have known.
The children are being bullied because this was filmed and put on the internet (without consent of the participants) and because sick fuckers keep sending the video the their kids. The person who put that video out there and the platforms keeping it there and the evil bastards who send this to his kids, they are the ones responsible for what the children are experiencing now.

They should be investigated

TheCatWithGreenEyes · 17/02/2023 10:32

@KattyKattyKatz they should but to be honest it's been shared by kids on Snapchat to others kids so doubt anything would happen

Trez1510 · 17/02/2023 11:09

Dulra · 17/02/2023 08:59

"Not my problem they should of thought about it first.
I live in the same area everyone local knows who they are.
They both deserve it and should of thought that first.
It's not the first time either"
Why do you sound so bitter? you obviously hate these people for whatever reason. No idea why any of this is anyone's business but those immediately impacted, as in their families

I also picked up that vibe in @TheCatWithGreenEyes's posts.

Initially I considered the poster is someone who has had someone cheat on her and views the world through that prism.

I'm now beginning to think it may be personal - the amount of venom is almost tangible in the posts.

Is it possible the poster was spurned by the MM in favour of the OW, and this is a bizarre, albeit belated, form of the 'Shoulda Picked Me' dance? (*)

In any event, I agree completely the families of both participants are victims who need not have been publicly humiliated victims but for the actions of others. Others being, principally, the videographer and further by those determined to 'out' the OW to ensure shame, humiliation and bullying are heaped on another set of children.

That's a mindset I find repulsive.

(*) Not a serious consideration, simply an indication to the poster of how vile it is to be subject to completely unfounded interweb nonsense.

TheCatWithGreenEyes · 17/02/2023 11:16

@Trez1510
Don't know if that was aimed at me but don't know what the fuck you are on about!?
I have no reason to be jealous of them or bitter.
Don't 'know' them just see them in passing and he is a prick. He and the other woman deserve this. And his wife knows what he's like and still had the 3rd baby with him

KattyKattyKatz · 17/02/2023 11:48

At least the woman involved can change her name and move away when all this dies down and start afresh . He will never live this down . Feel so sorry for all the innocent people involved with them .

Littleloveydovey · 17/02/2023 11:55

ImAvingOops · 17/02/2023 09:58

Re the children being bullied because of what their parents did, they aren't because in 'normal' circumstances the children would never have known.
The children are being bullied because this was filmed and put on the internet (without consent of the participants) and because sick fuckers keep sending the video the their kids. The person who put that video out there and the platforms keeping it there and the evil bastards who send this to his kids, they are the ones responsible for what the children are experiencing now.

Aye, as the fault is not they were rimming and exposed in public. It’s all the fault of the person who videoed it. They should have been allowed to crack on. Why are you so deliberately trying to make them blameless and refusing to accept if they’d not been shagging in public this would not have happened.

Mooshamoo · 17/02/2023 12:10

I said the men that I have been with have asked to rim me, and as I am nearly 50, I have been with a fair few men.

Just to clarify, they all ASKED to rim me, but I said no.

I wouldn't really be into it. Not that I wouldn't mind the feeling, but I would be too self conscious about my own smell/taste to enjoy it. It wouldn't be for me.

But as every man I've ever been with has asked to do it, I definitely think its very common, for men anyway.

I bet if it was any couple, it would definitely be the man that would ask to do it, not the woman.

What does that say about men,?

Mooshamoo · 17/02/2023 12:11

Typo.

I'm nearly 40, not nearly 50.

ImAvingOops · 17/02/2023 12:11

I'm not making them blameless and of course, if they hadn't put themselves in this position none of this would have happened. But the reason their kids know about it and have seen it and are being targeted online because of it, is because someone filmed it and put it online and then other scummy people have made a point of sending it to their kids.

The well-being of children is something that everyone in society has a responsibility for. Sadly, some parents cannot be relied upon to act in the best interests of their families. That doesn't make it okay for members of the public to say 'fuck it, I'll film this and put it on twitter' or to send it to his kids. Those people are directly responsible for what is now happening to the children in these families.
I'm not one for defending cheaters - they absolutely deserve to lose their marriages and the respect of their families and friends. But I think filming and distributing it was equally scummy

Trez1510 · 17/02/2023 12:13

TheCatWithGreenEyes · 17/02/2023 11:16

@Trez1510
Don't know if that was aimed at me but don't know what the fuck you are on about!?
I have no reason to be jealous of them or bitter.
Don't 'know' them just see them in passing and he is a prick. He and the other woman deserve this. And his wife knows what he's like and still had the 3rd baby with him

Well, yes, it was directed at you hence the inclusion of your screen name in the post.

You may wish to tell your typing fingers you harbour no jealousy or bitterness about this incident/the families involved. It's pretty obvious the messages from your brain are being very poor interpreted by your fingers.

Protest your lack of personal investment in this incident as much as you wish. Based on your posts, I believe differently.

Mooshamoo · 17/02/2023 12:15

I remember one man, the very first night I was with him, he went to rim me, without asking me. I jumped.

And he said "oh are you not into that".

I think rimming is as common to men as kissing.

The man I'm texting right now, has just texted me that he wants to lick every inch of my body, front and back.

I never bring it up. It is always the men who bring rimming up .

I have never texted a man and said "I want to lick your arse". Because I don't want to lick their arse. I have have had loads of men text me and say it to me. It is nearly the second thing they say to me after hello 😂

What does it say about men. That they are obsessed with arse? Does it come from porn , that they are just more animalistic, I don't know?

cobblers123 · 17/02/2023 12:21

Crikey, I've led a sheltered life ...😱

Littleloveydovey · 17/02/2023 12:21

Mooshamoo · 17/02/2023 12:15

I remember one man, the very first night I was with him, he went to rim me, without asking me. I jumped.

And he said "oh are you not into that".

I think rimming is as common to men as kissing.

The man I'm texting right now, has just texted me that he wants to lick every inch of my body, front and back.

I never bring it up. It is always the men who bring rimming up .

I have never texted a man and said "I want to lick your arse". Because I don't want to lick their arse. I have have had loads of men text me and say it to me. It is nearly the second thing they say to me after hello 😂

What does it say about men. That they are obsessed with arse? Does it come from porn , that they are just more animalistic, I don't know?

This is mind boggling. Where are you finding these strangers to sext, some fetish site? 😂

Trez1510 · 17/02/2023 12:25

Littleloveydovey · 17/02/2023 11:55

Aye, as the fault is not they were rimming and exposed in public. It’s all the fault of the person who videoed it. They should have been allowed to crack on. Why are you so deliberately trying to make them blameless and refusing to accept if they’d not been shagging in public this would not have happened.

Show quote history

I cannot find any indication anyone on this thread has indicated the pair down the alley are blameless.

Most people are of the opinion the person who filmed it and distributed it, along with those who sent it to children, are equally culpable.

Personally, I'd rather be friends with someone who made an error of judgement/lust and went down an alley than someone so twisted and perverse as to film and distribute the incident.

Those are my standards. You manage and be responsible for your own.

TheCatWithGreenEyes · 17/02/2023 12:27

@Trez1510 Okay believe what u want. I'm not jealous Ive not been rimmed round the back of Greg's thanks. I keep my rimming between me and my husband in our bedroom

Pedallleur · 17/02/2023 12:41

Its your arse. Faeces comes out. just no. but each to their own

Willyoujustbequiet · 17/02/2023 12:55

Mooshamoo · 17/02/2023 12:15

I remember one man, the very first night I was with him, he went to rim me, without asking me. I jumped.

And he said "oh are you not into that".

I think rimming is as common to men as kissing.

The man I'm texting right now, has just texted me that he wants to lick every inch of my body, front and back.

I never bring it up. It is always the men who bring rimming up .

I have never texted a man and said "I want to lick your arse". Because I don't want to lick their arse. I have have had loads of men text me and say it to me. It is nearly the second thing they say to me after hello 😂

What does it say about men. That they are obsessed with arse? Does it come from porn , that they are just more animalistic, I don't know?

As common as kissing?! 🤣🤣

Its the men you associate with. Not all men.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 17/02/2023 12:57

Where the hell are you finding these men @Mooshamoo

Cant say its my experience that most men are like that. I think I have been asked once and that was after about 18 months. I really don't believe its almost the 2nd thing they all say unless you are getting them from a niche dating site

Original poster
GoingOnce · 17/02/2023 12:59

Are you a sex worker? I can well imagine men who use prostitutes ask for things their partners won’t do.

OP posts:
Bansheed · 17/02/2023 13:16

GoingOnce · 17/02/2023 12:59

Are you a sex worker? I can well imagine men who use prostitutes ask for things their partners won’t do.

How rude! And purient

Original poster
GoingOnce · 17/02/2023 13:48

Prurient because I don’t think it’s normal for every man you’ve ever spoken to to ask if they can lick your arse??? Ok then. I’m prurient.

OP posts: