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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That rugby player…in a scrum with a woman down an alleyway… wtf!

881 replies

GoingOnce · 15/02/2023 19:53

AIBU to be shocked someone would want to do this/have it done to them? I mean, the main offense is that he’s cheated on his poor wife, but also - is this a thing??? 🤢

OP posts:
Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 20:59

Mooshamoo · 16/02/2023 19:10

I see some people on here saying that rimming is unusual and some people saying that it is common.

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it. Some asked to do it extremely soon after they met me. It is just a normal sex act for many men.

What like hi I’m Joe, nice to meet you, what would you like to drink and by the way can you bend over? 😂😂😂

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 21:01

You must have a tantalising arse

😂😂😂😂

Nyasia · 16/02/2023 21:07

Mooshamoo · 16/02/2023 19:10

I see some people on here saying that rimming is unusual and some people saying that it is common.

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it. Some asked to do it extremely soon after they met me. It is just a normal sex act for many men.

Rimming is not normal at all. If you’re doing this/having any kind of close contact (including kissing) with a partner who is doing this, then you should get a Hepatitis A vaccination.

Florenz · 16/02/2023 21:26

Rimming isn't the issue here. No-one would think twice if they'd met up in a hotel room and engaged in a steamy romp which included rimming. It's the public nature of it that is the story.

Surplus2requirements · 16/02/2023 21:29

Florenz · 16/02/2023 21:26

Rimming isn't the issue here. No-one would think twice if they'd met up in a hotel room and engaged in a steamy romp which included rimming. It's the public nature of it that is the story.

And the fact its been posted everywhere including children's phones

704703hey · 16/02/2023 21:33

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 21:01

You must have a tantalising arse

😂😂😂😂

That made me laugh too!!!

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 21:41

What has it got to do with me that someone I don’t know cheated on their wife. Absolutely nothing. Does every person that cheats, because according to some threads on here it happens quiet often, Do they get sacked? Of corse they don’t because it’s personal

i think as we were all distracted and chortling at the poster who gets many many men asking to rim her on the regular, some of them right after meeting her apparently, you were quietly missing the point in the background .

she wasn’t fired as she cheated. She was fired for committing indecent exposure and taking part in a lewd sexual act in public.

RLScott · 16/02/2023 22:00

RLScott · 16/02/2023 19:04

america is infinitely more puritanical (FFS every November (“thanksgiving”) they commemorate the bigoted, persecuting sect the term is named after).

David Bowie in his gender bender Ziggy Stardust era was celebrated everywhere (including attaining iconic status in Britain) while it was much harder for him in quote (his words) “puritanical america”.

Freddie Mercury had razor blades throw at him on stage in america (Queen’s last tour there) demanding he shave off his moustache (gay look).

You also have ZERO chance of being elected to anything there unless you publicly declare you are religious (religion there is everybody's business). Atheists like Trump and Obama had to pretend otherwise.

Illegal to drink until you are 21 (highest in the western world). They went through the prohibition era where you couldn’t drink at all.

Public shaming (Tiger Woods had to conduct a press conference after he had had an affair (utterly surreal watching this)).

They also arrest you there for feck all hence have the highest incarceration rate in the world.

Religious fervour there (45% think the Earth is 6000 years old, thus man walked with dinosaurs) is as rampant as racism.

Its a cult-like entity.

Just to provide an actual source on when puritanical England ended

www.bbc.com/culture/article/20141219-when-christmas-carols-were-banned

“In 1660, when legislation between 1642-60 was declared null and void, both the religious and the secular elements of the Twelve Days of Christmas were allowed to be celebrated freely.”

The reign of terror that the puritans inflicted on the English people ended in 1660, and Christmas (as well as a litany of social activities including theatre, couples dancing, drinking, toasting each other, football on a Sunday etc.) were freely marked without the fear of prosecution. In america, the reign of terror inflicted by the puritans lasted much much longer (which they weirdly commemorate with “thanksgiving”, and even more absurdly celebrate Christmas the following month, an event which the persecuting cult banned) and their influence there is vast.

In 1917 HL Mencken wrote that American culture, unlike its European counterparts, had not attained intellectual freedom:

“The Puritan's utter lack of aesthetic sense, his distrust of all romantic emotion, his unmatchable intolerance of opposition, his unbreakable belief in his own bleak and narrow views, his savage cruelty of attack, his lust for relentless and barbarous persecution – these things have put an almost unbearable burden up on the exchange of ideas in the United States”

Arrrrrrragghhh · 16/02/2023 22:38

@Mooshamoo Interesting.
Have you been out with different types of men ? I’m thinking it’s a combination of porn and everyone having Brazilians these days.

Fifi00 · 16/02/2023 22:44

My DH tried to rim me on our first shag ! I nearly jumped off the fucking bed.

TheCatWithGreenEyes · 16/02/2023 23:08

My husband keeps asking me if I want a 'Greggs'

OntarioBagnet · 16/02/2023 23:12

Mooshamoo · 16/02/2023 19:10

I see some people on here saying that rimming is unusual and some people saying that it is common.

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it. Some asked to do it extremely soon after they met me. It is just a normal sex act for many men.

Really? I’ve slept with well over 80 guys and nobody has ever asked me about rimming!

pristinesurfacesGBTD · 16/02/2023 23:15

TheCatWithGreenEyes · 16/02/2023 23:08

My husband keeps asking me if I want a 'Greggs'

Gives new meaning to 'popping to Greggs for a sausage roll'

AnthonyTheTurtle · 17/02/2023 01:25

OntarioBagnet · 16/02/2023 23:12

Really? I’ve slept with well over 80 guys and nobody has ever asked me about rimming!

Same here! I’ve been round the block several times and nobody has ever suggested it.

AnthonyTheTurtle · 17/02/2023 01:26

I really hope his wife doesn’t take him back.

Bansheed · 17/02/2023 02:22

As a late teen I remember being faintly horrified to hear of it. But then I also had a basic sex life of hand jobs or blow jobs with no concern to my own orgasm, so I am not sure I knew much, at all.

Things changed over the decades, definitely not shocked by rimming, at all. Kind of shocked that a lot of PP are.

Lostinbrum · 17/02/2023 02:34

I've experienced a few men in my time and never once had a guy rim me or ask for it either. Had one stick an uninvited finger up there once. I know some ppl enjoy it but I think it's gross

hempenhomespun · 17/02/2023 06:24

This is a sorry and lurid tale for all involved.

I also got the impression that the person who filmed it was someone who knew them both (and probably their spouses too) and wanted to shame them.

Although the woman hasn't been named in the press, her name is all over the internet and I feel she will suffer more than him as society still seems to be more tolerant of this behaviour from men and puts it down to "men being men" whereas for a woman it is regarded as being far more shameful.

He was photographed at training yesterday laughing with his mate whilst showing him something seemingly funny on his phone whereas I doubt the woman involved has left the house.

She has lost her job whereas he will probably keep his.

There are no winners in this whole terrible debacle but I'm certain the woman will end up being the biggest loser.

704703hey · 17/02/2023 06:37

Yes I thought it was someone who knew them and followed them. It's shit what happened but hope all of them can rebuild their lives.

I haven't looked up the clip or the woman's name but despite being named on SM hope she can move on, it does appear she's getting vilified much more than him

Lampzade · 17/02/2023 06:54

pristinesurfacesGBTD · 16/02/2023 23:15

Gives new meaning to 'popping to Greggs for a sausage roll'

Ha ha

PrincessConstance · 17/02/2023 07:07

Mooshamoo · 16/02/2023 19:10

I see some people on here saying that rimming is unusual and some people saying that it is common.

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it. Some asked to do it extremely soon after they met me. It is just a normal sex act for many men.

Did they also suggest a trip to Greggs to make the experience more memorable?
Imagine the memory, of meeting for a date, then a quick rimming behind Greggs.😂
Definitely a keeper.
This will all be forgotten about in 6 months by the press. The fans will be taunting him for yrs.😂

PrincessConstance · 17/02/2023 07:10

704703hey · 17/02/2023 06:37

Yes I thought it was someone who knew them and followed them. It's shit what happened but hope all of them can rebuild their lives.

I haven't looked up the clip or the woman's name but despite being named on SM hope she can move on, it does appear she's getting vilified much more than him

Apparently, the other husband is his friend. Dp knows a little bit more about it than I do. He has a few friends in the RL fraternity.
What a pair of twits.

Littleloveydovey · 17/02/2023 07:20

hempenhomespun · 17/02/2023 06:24

This is a sorry and lurid tale for all involved.

I also got the impression that the person who filmed it was someone who knew them both (and probably their spouses too) and wanted to shame them.

Although the woman hasn't been named in the press, her name is all over the internet and I feel she will suffer more than him as society still seems to be more tolerant of this behaviour from men and puts it down to "men being men" whereas for a woman it is regarded as being far more shameful.

He was photographed at training yesterday laughing with his mate whilst showing him something seemingly funny on his phone whereas I doubt the woman involved has left the house.

She has lost her job whereas he will probably keep his.

There are no winners in this whole terrible debacle but I'm certain the woman will end up being the biggest loser.

Well I’ve searched and cannot find who she is, so I don’t think it is all over the the internet,if it was I’d be able to find it . It might be somewhere , sure, but with a few mins search in all the obvs places, inc Twitter, I can’t find it so, no she’s not all over the internet,

SuitsYouSirS · 17/02/2023 07:29

Littleloveydovey · 17/02/2023 07:20

Well I’ve searched and cannot find who she is, so I don’t think it is all over the the internet,if it was I’d be able to find it . It might be somewhere , sure, but with a few mins search in all the obvs places, inc Twitter, I can’t find it so, no she’s not all over the internet,

It’s not all over the internet and let’s hope it stays that way. Whatever she’s done she’ll be going through hell right now and she’s been sacked. As usual the man is fine though - kept his job and laughing along at something on his phone the other day.

imtheglue · 17/02/2023 07:41

I managed to find the woman with a few hints on the internet but agree, while he’s having a whale of a time along with a few back slaps no doubt - she’ll be suffering.

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