Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That rugby player…in a scrum with a woman down an alleyway… wtf!

881 replies

GoingOnce · 15/02/2023 19:53

AIBU to be shocked someone would want to do this/have it done to them? I mean, the main offense is that he’s cheated on his poor wife, but also - is this a thing??? 🤢

OP posts:
jemimapuddlepluck · 16/02/2023 16:09

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 15:40

They do face consequences like this, and losing their families, and public shaming, and it doesn't stop them. Catherine Howard committed adultery while married to Henry VIII even though her own cousin had lost her head just a few years earlier after being falsely accused of the same.

I don't know what the secret is to making humans stay monogamous when they don't want to, but public shaming doesn't seem to do it...and it's hard to see who benefits from it apart from a keen and prurient public. Children certainly don't.

Show quote history

Losing their families and public shaming doesn't seem to deter people much. That's because families and some of the public like to sweep things under the rug and pretend the person they love isn't an absolute arsehole. You see it all the time with people who cheat, they are quickly invited back into the fold with the OW/OM. As evidenced on this thread stranger's are quick to make excuses for them. If it actually affected their livliehood then perhaps people may think twice, seeing as though causing heartbreak to their spouse and children doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
He should also lose his job. I have no time or sympathy for people willing to obliterate the lives of their children.

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 16:17

jemimapuddlepluck · 16/02/2023 16:09

Losing their families and public shaming doesn't seem to deter people much. That's because families and some of the public like to sweep things under the rug and pretend the person they love isn't an absolute arsehole. You see it all the time with people who cheat, they are quickly invited back into the fold with the OW/OM. As evidenced on this thread stranger's are quick to make excuses for them. If it actually affected their livliehood then perhaps people may think twice, seeing as though causing heartbreak to their spouse and children doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
He should also lose his job. I have no time or sympathy for people willing to obliterate the lives of their children.

Show quote history

It isn't your time and sympathy that matter. This isn't your family. If an adulterer's partner decides they want to work through it, and that that is what's best for them, that's up to them. It's not for you, or the general public, to attempt to sway their decision through shame and punishment to try to get them to do what you want.

jemimapuddlepluck · 16/02/2023 16:28

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 16:17

It isn't your time and sympathy that matter. This isn't your family. If an adulterer's partner decides they want to work through it, and that that is what's best for them, that's up to them. It's not for you, or the general public, to attempt to sway their decision through shame and punishment to try to get them to do what you want.

Show quote history

Oh I get that, I just believe if the general public attempted to sway their decision just a little bit harder people may think twice. As it stands in society today, there's abit of fuss for a few days then it's forgotten about. These two pricks may think twice in future about behaving this way. Only these two pricks mind, wouldn't expect it to put anyone else off acting like this.
Anyway, that's my opinion that I am entitled to have, like you are yours.

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 16:38

jemimapuddlepluck · 16/02/2023 16:28

Oh I get that, I just believe if the general public attempted to sway their decision just a little bit harder people may think twice. As it stands in society today, there's abit of fuss for a few days then it's forgotten about. These two pricks may think twice in future about behaving this way. Only these two pricks mind, wouldn't expect it to put anyone else off acting like this.
Anyway, that's my opinion that I am entitled to have, like you are yours.

Show quote history

How much harder do you want? The footage is online, will be there forever, and people are going crazy. How can this not be enough public shaming? Why is it the public's business anyway? Is it not between them and their families? What's our ownership?

And as for these two pricks, it's done now and his marriage at least is over. There's nothing to gain from continued shaming except to satisfy the displaced vengeance of a load of strangers, and that'll only harm the kids still further. No way continued shaming of her father will benefit the daughter. In fact, if they're just going to keep being punished, they might as well carry on doing it. What have they got to lose?

Don't know why you had to remind me that you're entitled to your opinion. I never suggested otherwise.

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 16:39

lovemyflipflops · 16/02/2023 16:00

Oh heck - she's been named on Twitter - I am not going to divulge on here - but from what I can see she is a very pretty blonde who has worked hard for the same company and had a really good job

  • so many lives ruined over a fumble behind an alley - it's out there forever now.

How undignified to have this on the interweb to haunt you forever

I can’t see it. But that’s not good. I can’t imagine the devastation his wife is going through, to see the video evidenc of your husband cheating and to see it is with your friend.

FadoFado · 16/02/2023 16:48

There will always be adulterers. That's just life. I really do feel that this pair are experiencing an excruciating punishment as it is. Could there be anything worse than this kind of notoriety complete with video footage?

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 16:50

Presumably at least part of the thrill of public sex is the idea that you might be caught?

pompomdaisy · 16/02/2023 17:05

It's more shocking for my DH cos he used to teach him. Now this just makes him feel old!

Tratjymp · 16/02/2023 17:28

pompomdaisy · 16/02/2023 17:05

It's more shocking for my DH cos he used to teach him. Now this just makes him feel old!

Taught him well.

eighteenthirteen1 · 16/02/2023 17:29

I think the UK and US are particularly puritanical in this regard

Yeah we're way worse than the Gulf regions

Bellalalala · 16/02/2023 17:38

lovemyflipflops · 16/02/2023 16:00

Oh heck - she's been named on Twitter - I am not going to divulge on here - but from what I can see she is a very pretty blonde who has worked hard for the same company and had a really good job

  • so many lives ruined over a fumble behind an alley - it's out there forever now.

How undignified to have this on the interweb to haunt you forever

Her name has been known since at least Monday.

Florenz · 16/02/2023 17:41

Greggs should use them in an advert.

ganvough · 16/02/2023 17:44

eighteenthirteen1 · 16/02/2023 17:29

I think the UK and US are particularly puritanical in this regard

Yeah we're way worse than the Gulf regions

It's not a comparison of who is most puritanical. In any case the Gulf is equally censorious about ALL expressions of sexuality. But the UK and US are puritanical towards female sexuality particularly, male expressions of sexuality are championed.

Surplus2requirements · 16/02/2023 17:46

Florenz · 16/02/2023 17:41

Greggs should use them in an advert.

A little too upmarket for Greggs

Tratjymp · 16/02/2023 17:50

Florenz · 16/02/2023 17:41

Greggs should use them in an advert.

It's tasty, it's er.. crusty, with a tempting aroma.

eighteenthirteen1 · 16/02/2023 18:05

Shgytfgtf111 · 16/02/2023 14:24

Weird that he was being filmed with a phone with a light on, they were lit up and he was still at it. You would think at the sound of footsteps and the phone bloke shouting at them they would have paused proceedings.

Look at the state of him, hes gattered and doesnt have a clue.

'Gattered' hahah haven't heard that for ages. Are you from Maidstone?!

RLScott · 16/02/2023 19:04

ganvough · 16/02/2023 17:44

It's not a comparison of who is most puritanical. In any case the Gulf is equally censorious about ALL expressions of sexuality. But the UK and US are puritanical towards female sexuality particularly, male expressions of sexuality are championed.

Show quote history

america is infinitely more puritanical (FFS every November (“thanksgiving”) they commemorate the bigoted, persecuting sect the term is named after).

David Bowie in his gender bender Ziggy Stardust era was celebrated everywhere (including attaining iconic status in Britain) while it was much harder for him in quote (his words) “puritanical america”.

Freddie Mercury had razor blades throw at him on stage in america (Queen’s last tour there) demanding he shave off his moustache (gay look).

You also have ZERO chance of being elected to anything there unless you publicly declare you are religious (religion there is everybody's business). Atheists like Trump and Obama had to pretend otherwise.

Illegal to drink until you are 21 (highest in the western world). They went through the prohibition era where you couldn’t drink at all.

Public shaming (Tiger Woods had to conduct a press conference after he had had an affair (utterly surreal watching this)).

They also arrest you there for feck all hence have the highest incarceration rate in the world.

Religious fervour there (45% think the Earth is 6000 years old, thus man walked with dinosaurs) is as rampant as racism.

Its a cult-like entity.

Mooshamoo · 16/02/2023 19:10

I see some people on here saying that rimming is unusual and some people saying that it is common.

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it. Some asked to do it extremely soon after they met me. It is just a normal sex act for many men.

pristinesurfacesGBTD · 16/02/2023 19:16

Mooshamoo · 16/02/2023 19:10

I see some people on here saying that rimming is unusual and some people saying that it is common.

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it. Some asked to do it extremely soon after they met me. It is just a normal sex act for many men.

Did you?

eighteenthirteen1 · 16/02/2023 19:17

Mooshamoo · 16/02/2023 19:10

I see some people on here saying that rimming is unusual and some people saying that it is common.

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it. Some asked to do it extremely soon after they met me. It is just a normal sex act for many men.

Did ye aye

billy1966 · 16/02/2023 19:22

Mooshamoo · 16/02/2023 19:10

I see some people on here saying that rimming is unusual and some people saying that it is common.

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it. Some asked to do it extremely soon after they met me. It is just a normal sex act for many men.

Is this something women do to men too?

I really am old!

I see he has 3 children.

How utterly traumatising.

Surely the moment their childhood ended.

No wonder his wife doesn't want him back.

Who would EVER want to kiss him again.🤢🤮

I can't imagine how anyone would be enthusiastic about kissing any man knowing where his mouth may have been.

Florenz · 16/02/2023 19:24

Rimming isn't unusual, people having an illicit quickie down a back alley during a drunken night out isn't that unusual (not that that makes it right, because it's not), but people engaging in rimming down a back alley during drunken night out IS unusual, at least I think it is. I've never heard of it.

Original poster
GoingOnce · 16/02/2023 20:03

I would have thought that it is a very common sex act. Every man I've been with has asked to do it to me. And I'm nearly 40, so I've been with a fair few men at this stage. Every single man asked to do it

You must have a tantalising arse. No-one has ever asked if they can do that to me.

OP posts:
Annon1234 · 16/02/2023 20:40

Some of these comments are ridiculous. Of corse they are both wrong, cheating on their husband/wives, and doing it down an ally is gross. But it happens, and for those saying what if a child saw them? At 2am on a Sunday morning i doubt there will be many children out and about. How many other people on Saturday night have gone for a fumble and cheated on their partners. They deserve all they get from their spouses and families but not the general public. What has it got to do with me that someone I don’t know cheated on their wife. Absolutely nothing. Does every person that cheats, because according to some threads on here it happens quiet often, Do they get sacked? Of corse they don’t because it’s personal. The person they filmed this and distributed this video should absolutely be named and shamed, they are the reason his 15 year old daughter saw it and is now going to have to publicly watch their parent’s marriage fall apart

Quirrelsotherface · 16/02/2023 20:58

Did ye aye

😆😆😆