That rugby player…in a scrum with a woman down an alleyway… wtf!

[GoingOnce]

AIBU to be shocked someone would want to do this/have it done to them? I mean, the main offense is that he’s cheated on his poor wife, but also - is this a thing??? 🤢

How unlike the home life of our own, late, dear Queen.

🤣

I hope he doesn't take his own life over this. Problem drinking for years it seems so already vulnerable with mental health.

Lol

Awful for both families.

The families will take a huge financial hit too.
Divorce does that.
JW has been fined by his club and the woman involved has apparently lost her job because of the controversy.

Can the person who filmed the incident be traced ?

Totally off topic but because of this event I learned that Pontefract is not in Wales. In my defence I don't live in the UK.

So filming and publishing it was totally inconsequential?

How does one reconcile him having no right to privacy with horror that his daughter was subjected to seeing the film?

It's just one of those "nothing is too bad for a cheater and even the kids should be collateral damage if it means he gets punished" jobs, isn't it? Dressed up as morality.

They weren't in private? They were in a public place, and - as MN is always telling people who complain about strangers taking photos of their kids in the street - you cannot prevent people from taking photos or videos of you outside in public spaces.

Why are you utterly determined to place no blame at the door of this pair of grubby deviants

tnr bottom line is if they weren’t doing this then they’d not be in this position. That’s it. They owed their partners. They owed their kids. They owed the public not to do this, theirs is the blame and shame. Stop trying to make it someone else’s fault. If they hadn’t done it, there would be nothing for them to be caught doing.

they were cheating. They exposed themselves in public. They were engaged in rimming in public. That’s why their kids saw it. If they’d done none of that stuff their children would have seen nothing.

stop trying to deflect and defend the indefensible

The couple involved did a vile thing. But they didn't ever expect their kids to see it and in filming/distributing the footage, a third party has given their actions far more damaging consequences than either could have known or intended.
It's put porn, which wasn't consented to, on the public domain and directly harmed children.

While I absolutely agree that the couple are disgusting and deserve to lose their marriages, what's happening to them and their families now is way beyond acceptable.

It really shouldn't be legal for SM to put porn (made without consent) on their platforms. Imo, in doing so, it is abuse in itself.

Well I don’t know.

My instinct is if you decide to have pretty filthy drunken sex down an alleyway on a public walkway you probably deserve to have that documented by those who are using that walkway to walk down.

Now whether you deserve to then have that made public for all the seedy lowlife to wank over that’s another matter. I’m going to say no, that’s life long humiliation and there is the potential for someone to take their life over that level of shame.

Let this be a life lesson though. Being pissed does not give you a free pass for this shit. People have recording devices in their hands at all times. Conduct yourself decently in public. Whether that be how you treat your pets, your children, cycle your bike, drive your car, converse with your loved ones or rim your friend’s wives. Some bad behaviour is just best done in private.

There is not always a correlation between a man’s penis size and his overall size.

People often blame drink for their bad behaviour - it reduces inhibitions and judgment (re the location a person might choose to have sex) but it doesn't make you cheat on your spouse, if when sober you would absolutely never have even contemplated doing so.

You can read my previous posts to see I've described their actions as classless, stupid and nasty, and expressed my sympathies for their families. Indeed, my concern for his daughter is one reason why I'm not in favour of public shaming. It doesn't affect only the pair of them themselves. It affects the kids too, as we see.

It's a pity that in your relentless quest for gratuitous humiliation and vengeance against two people you don't even know, you think that anyone opposed to public shaming must think there's no blame for the act itself. But that's how mob mentality and public shaming work. It's all about extreme punishment at all costs...including the very families people claim to be so distressed about.

It's a shit situation for all involved, really.

No not always but broad shoulders and height with big hands, thick long fingers usually indicate a big one too.

I don't think the families would consider this a favour.
If my husband was doing this, I'd want to know, but if the choice was me not knowing or knowing but my children being exposed to the video and fall out, I'd take not knowing!

For goodness sake. Calm down and do not put words or motives in my mouth when you do not know me. Our opinions may differ but that doesn’t mean you get to attack and debase me.

the difference in opinion is that I do not feel this is about public shaming I believe it is about thr behaviour itself at its root. That if they had not done this, then they would not be able to be publicly shamed. No amount of your wrath will change my view that they are responsible for what’s happened.

The misogyny of him getting his name and her being name called says a lot about you (and others who’ve done similar).

Can see already how she is being viewed as being “worse” and will end up paying a higher price than him.

Him using the excuse of alcohol is such a cop out. It annoys me when people act like alcohol is this invisible hand forcing you to do things you wouldn't normally. It just releases instincts you already had by removing inhibitions.

I've drunk heavily, done my share of toxic substances as have friends of mine - and we've never ended up cheating or publicly shagging where people can see. Even if you get horny and not in your right mind, you know who your partner is and where you're having sex.

Having said that, I know a girl who gets bladdered and has given randoms oral sex in alleyways (much to my horror, because she's done it close to our work!). She always feels guilty and dirty the next day, and upset when she doesn't hear from them - so it's not something she enjoys. But can't seem to stop herself. I've never understood it as she could just take them home and have sex there but it's like she needs to degrade herself in that moment.

So I don't know what or why the woman did what she did, but it was always going to be more catastrophic for her. She's the one who's lost her job, and no doubt will attract far more pervert attention than he will. And I'm sure this will go up on the porn sites too forevermore. His life may be unbearable now and he's destroyed his family, but people will get over it and move on- his career won't end. And as a rugby player he's used to awful chants and slagging off. Also he'll definitely still manage to find someone else (these scummy but rich men always do somehow).

So I really feel for his wife and kids, and the woman and her family. They'll all be impacted by it much more than he will. I read his messages to his wife in the papers apologising, and honestly it seems like he's cheated before and she's aware of it but never to this scale or where she can see it herself. Such a sleazy man.

I don't have her name if I knew it I would've put it on my comment. Bent over in an alley when you're in a relation and you know he's married is hardly a classy lady.
I don't see her as worse, they are both scum. Don't defend her just because she's a woman. I'd be more worried about his daughter and wife than what strangers call the ex estate agent affair partner, is this better dear?

Cop out. You could have said 'westerman and that woman' or similar.

You chose to write 'whore' at least own that decision

So I really feel for his wife and kids, and the woman and her family

I feel sorry for his wife and kids and her husband and kids.

I reserve no pity for her.